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On Labeling A Stranger An Abuser

June 19th, 2014 Comments off

So the other day, I was reading a post about exes. I don’t remember whose. Maybe it was Stella Kink?

In any case, it discussed that unwritten code that says dating your friend’s ex is bad, mmkay? And it delves into the way this is often handled in the BDSM community. I don’t know from personal experience, but according to the post I read, and according to the people I’ve spoken with in the BDSM community, a lot of people actually recommend their exes to others if they feel they’d be a good match.

This makes sense. Something that’s often suggested to submissives (and dominants and switches, too, by the folks who understand that submissives aren’t the only ones who need protection) is finding “references” for any dominants they’re interested in beginning a relationship with. And apparently, a lot of BDSM relationships end amicably and for reasons that are not reflections of the personalities and morals of the people involved. Read more…

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