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Archive for June, 2014

We’re supposed to be able to say whatever we want.

June 26th, 2014 2 comments

Day 10Previous to this relationship, M and I were both in relationships where we couldn’t talk about our problems with our partners. And not just problems we had with our partners, but our problems with all of life.

If I started talking about problems I had that involved my ex, he’d disappear for days, leaving me and the kids without money, and sometimes without food, while he was out galavanting with friends and fucking other women. If I started talking about my problems outside of him, he’d go off on tangents about why my focus was in the wrong place and how weak I was.

Master’s ex would use his paranoia against him, and try to convince him that it was all in his head; even things she said and did directly to him.

So one of the first things we did, when we got together, was start negotiating all the things we wouldn’t do to each other, starting with being able to say anything in the world to each other without it causing a rift in the relationship. I mean, beyond whatever problem there already was to cause us to say whatever we said to each other, obviously. Read more…

Categories: Rayne Tags:

On Labeling A Stranger An Abuser

June 19th, 2014 Comments off

So the other day, I was reading a post about exes. I don’t remember whose. Maybe it was Stella Kink?

In any case, it discussed that unwritten code that says dating your friend’s ex is bad, mmkay? And it delves into the way this is often handled in the BDSM community. I don’t know from personal experience, but according to the post I read, and according to the people I’ve spoken with in the BDSM community, a lot of people actually recommend their exes to others if they feel they’d be a good match.

This makes sense. Something that’s often suggested to submissives (and dominants and switches, too, by the folks who understand that submissives aren’t the only ones who need protection) is finding “references” for any dominants they’re interested in beginning a relationship with. And apparently, a lot of BDSM relationships end amicably and for reasons that are not reflections of the personalities and morals of the people involved. Read more…

Categories: Rayne Tags:

Product Review: Touch Me by Nomi Tang

June 17th, 2014 5 comments

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Ooo, what’s that?

Touch Me Mini Vibrator by Nomi Tang

First things first…I owe Nomi Tang an apology for how long this review (and another I owe them that will probably be at least another week in coming) has taken. They sent me stuff just as things with M’s back were getting really bad, and I dropped all my obligations to take care of him. I think I also forgot to let them know, at first, that this is what happened.

Course, their rep basically said she doesn’t care what’s holding me up; I need to just get their reviews done. In truth, this is the only reason I’m writing this review right now. I’m not really in the mood (the stress we’re under is absolutely insane), and I’ve got other shit that needs doing.

That there is the Touch Me from Nomi Tang. And I actually kinda like it. I don’t know why I was worried I wouldn’t. I liked the Better Than Chocolate, too. Partly because it looks like something from Star Trek. I’m such a geek. Read more…

Blog Digest – e[lust] #59

June 16th, 2014 Comments off

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Photo courtesy of Frisky in the 916

Welcome to Elust #59

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #60? Start with the rules, come back July 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

Considering Cocks
I Love Interrogation, or Diabolical Genius
Yes all Women but Not All Men Rant

 

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

I Kissed A Girl (& Her Man) And I Liked It

10 Things No One Warns You About Nonmonogamy

 

~ Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

*You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy! Read more…

Categories: Rayne Tags:

30 Days of Kink: “Anonymous” Defines Their Kinky Self

June 12th, 2014 Comments off

30 Days of KinkFor the Cheer Melen Up Without Hurting His Back Giveaway, we offered bonus entries for the social media prize to people who defined their kinky selves for the 30 Days of Kink project. Here’s an anonymous entry we received. We love it.

Discovering my kinky self is going hand in hand with discovering my sexual self. In fact, a big part of discovering my sexuality has been realizing that I’m a bit kinky. It’s possible that these things will change as I learn and experience more, but thus far these things define my kinky self.

1) My kinky self is conflicted. Read more…

The Hashtag Activism…It Burns It!

June 8th, 2014 4 comments

Ugh. Hashtag activism.

I would happily burn hashtags to the ground, these days, if I could. It started with #solidarityisforwhitewomen and has just escalated since then.

I think what’s getting to me most is watching people I respect get verbally beaten into submission in text on Twitter and various other social media sites, and it makes me want to cry. Or rear up with a mighty roar and tell the jackholes why their opinions and methods are stupid. (Yes, I called them a name, but not because they disagree with me. Because they are Bullies with a capital B. “Jackhole” fits.) But the people I respect are grown. They’ve gotta make their own decisions, and I’ve gotta respect that. So I keep my head down.

#YesAllWomen…I avoided the hashtag like the plague. I’ve avoided the conversation like the plague. I’ve tried, desperately, to bite my tongue. The morning it got big, Master told me that if I started talking to him about it, and it was obvious I disagreed with him, he was going to gag me. He’d seen a bunch of the more abusive tweets that were directed at specific men personally by women who didn’t know them, and was not going to sit and listen to his slave defend them.

And I don’t blame him.  Read more…