Home > Rayne > Am I supposed to be flattered?

Am I supposed to be flattered?

February 6th, 2014

You can't see me!

You can’t see me!

Sometimes, I wish I’d never put my city and state on Fetlife or Twitter. Especially with the recent influx of people searching Fetlife and Twitter by location. My profile leads with “Writer. Editor. Sex, politics, rock&roll.” I might as well have “Sexually harass me, please!” in my bio.

It usually starts innocently enough. Dude (always the bro type) searches Twitter for chicks in the area surrounding them. Dude finds chick with a pretty face. Dude sees sex in the bio. Dude tries to keep his banter light, but chick says she likes sex in her bio! Chicks who like sex are awesome. Chicks who like sex want to discuss THEIR sex in great detail. Chicks who like sex will do anyone! Right? RIGHT?!

And this is about where they stop reading the bio…and lose their f’ing minds.

There’s something about knowing a woman is into sex that emboldens (some) men. It’s as if they think that just because a woman enjoys sex, and is open about her enjoyment, she’ll do anyone, enjoys being hit on, loves male attention, WANTS ALL OF THE MEN AND ALL OF THE SEX ALL OF THE TIME.

I’m here to tell you that’s just not true. Bro…I love sex. I LOVE sex. I LOVE SEX!

I think about sex about 75% of my day. That’s only up about 15% since I started my career in the adult industry. And I’m really not interested in being your sex toy. I’m M’s sex toy. One masterly man is as much as I can handle, please and thank you.

So this guy starts chatting me up on Twitter. He’s good. He starts by asking questions about my career, which always leads to my relationship and sex life, and then my DM lights up.

I know what’s coming next. It’s some variation of the same thing every time.

“Are you allowed multiple partners?”

God damn it. “No.”

I always elaborate. We are monogamous, and don’t really have time, energy, or interest for other people, right now. It’s nothing personal. I’m sure every person that expresses interest is great once you get to know them. But we are way too tied up in each other to even consider bringing in other people.

The women, every time, understand. We stay in touch with some, and we’ve become friends with some. And maybe, some day, if things change, there’s potential for more if all parties are interested.

The men, though…ahh, the men.

What is it about being told “no” that makes (some) guys think you’re challenging them?

This one asked if I’d be interested in him if I wasn’t with M, and I told him I didn’t even know him, but it was irrelevant since I am with M.

I realized what was coming next. I sat here trying to decide how to ward it off. So I tweeted that I hadn’t received any unsolicited dick pics in a while, @ing the friend who occasionally sends me unsolicited pictures of random celebrities and pop culture icons named “Dick”.

My DM lights up. It’s a picture of dude in a suit.

My DM lights up again. “I was gonna send a naked picture but then I saw your tweet about dick pics.”

Uhm. Really? What about our conversation made you think I would want to see you naked? Especially without warning?

He apologized, following it up with “You have a nice user pic and I think sex with you would be kinky and fun.”

And am I…my God, you think I should be flattered, don’t you? You think I should be flattered that seeing my picture and thinking about what my man does to me makes you lose your f’ing mind, don’t you?

Heehee, you’re so cute. You just lose your silly little boy head when you see a pretty girl, and I’m just pretty enough to do the trick. Oh, my, you must think I’m special.

Except…no. You’re not cute. You’re annoying. I’m not flattered. I’m annoyed.

But go ahead and send me that dick pic. I’m sure Twitter would like to see what you’re working with.

  1. February 6th, 2014 at 19:24 | #1

    I think I’m in lust with you. Why?! Because you said this before I could. I was on fetlife for awhile, got that same thing. Then there is another website, I recently peeked in on. And I got everything from a guy wanting to talk to me about my hair to a Christian men selling his religion as a cloak to talk about his foot fetish. Don’t even get me started on dick pics!!! I have a collection now. Maybe I should make an ebook with a brief description of each one. This topic could have any many different views from women (I’m sure) oh maybe that’s an idea for my ebook. Lol. I adore and thanks for making me smile (sorry, it’s not to be at the expensive of your irritation) it’s just that you “took the words right out of my mouth”.

  2. AndroAngel
    February 7th, 2014 at 01:37 | #2

    Oh, man, why do people always do that. It said right on my fetlife profile that I’m monogamous, non-binary, top-leaning switch, and Demisexual (With a helpful definition of demisexual) and I still got people sending me messages all the time telling me that I would totally sub for them or that they wanted me to be their Goddess/Mistress/etc… Which, also they missed the part where I totally said the only gendered title I approve of is Lady…

    I love how you handled the dick pics thing. I wouldn’t have ever thought of that.

  3. Heaven
    February 7th, 2014 at 18:30 | #3

    This is why I always use a town over. While camming I don’t like my members being able to find me anywheres off site or anyone for that matter. When I am ready to tell you where I am I will. Even if they ask I tell them I am in such state and won’t give the city. Fetlife really urks me sometimes with some of the people on there. Twitter I have not had a problem yet thank god.

  4. February 7th, 2014 at 19:09 | #4

    @ AndroAngel Every time I see your name in my comments, it puts a smile on my face. I hope you’re doing well!

    I probably wouldn’t have thought of it either if this friend of mine didn’t send me random pictures of people named Dick. Lol. He started when I posted about getting unsolicited dick pics from LinkedIn a while back. He’s good people.

    Keep in touch! I miss hearing from you. 🙂

  5. February 7th, 2014 at 19:11 | #5

    @ Sassycat Lol. Do it! Make it totally anonymous pics. A short description of what you know about the guy (interests, age, etc.) and how you came to be in possession of a picture of his penis. It’d be a great study on Internet sexual harassment.

  6. February 7th, 2014 at 19:15 | #6

    @ Heaven New York is, statistically, one of the worst states with regard to street harassment (though how accurate that is, I don’t know, since studies are only recently being published, and something of that magnitude requires much more time). I see it all the time on the street. It’s only natural it shows up on our side of the Internet, too. It just always surprises me how far beyond “not interested” some will go.

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