Home > Rayne > I feel pretty…oh, so pretty…

I feel pretty…oh, so pretty…

January 10th, 2014

imageSo last night, I dyed my hair.

I was supposed to wait till Master felt like helping me (or had the time…lately, it’s more that he doesn’t have time for anything), but I got tired of waiting. I wanted it done already. So in anticipation of the mess I was going to make, I covered the bathroom with garbage bags, mixed up a couple bags of henna-based, all natural dye, and went to town.

I used this color the last time I dyed my hair, but my hair was longer, and chemically treated in some places, and much, much more damaged. At the time, I was using Suave shampoo and conditioner because we couldn’t afford something good for my hair, so my hair was super dry. Plus, I followed directions on the internet rather than directions on the package. Over all, it was a giant recipe for disaster, and it didn’t come out quite how I wanted it, and…yeah.

Oh, did I not mention I cut my hair? I can’t remember. I mean, if you follow me on Twitter, you know, because I practically live-tweeted that shit. I was super nervous about it. Partly because the girl took off 2 1/2 feet, but mostly, I was nervous about the bangs. I haven’t had bangs since middle school, and back then, we cut a very thin layer of bangs straight across just under the brow line, rolled them under with a curling iron, and then sprayed the shit out of them so that they didn’t lose their curl. Ahh…the 90s.

These days, my shampoo and conditioner each cost $8 a bottle, which sends my heart into palpitations when I think about it, but Master likes the brand, and has ordered me to keep buying it. It’s done wonders for my hair. Even though I’m dehydrated more often than not (my body doesn’t retain hydration as well as it should), my hair has evolved to be closer to “normal” than “so dry it breaks if you so much as breathe on it.”

I had the girl cut off a lot to get rid of the last of the chemically treated part of my hair. She cut it just a smidge shorter than I wanted her to, but Master likes it, and it’ll grow back, so I’m really not bothered by it.

I was worried, at first, because Master and I had discussed the new ‘do, and while we have both agreed that my hair looks better when it’s not past my ass, we had decided about mid-back was the way to go. And we all know how particular these masterly men are about the length of their slaves’ hair. But when I mentioned that it was shorter than we wanted, he said, “So what? It looks good, and it’ll grow back.” So I began the process of learning not to fret over the fact that I didn’t like how short it was.

Turns out, the real issue was just not being used to seeing myself with hair that short. And bangs. God, let’s not forget the bangs. I fret over them more than how short my hair is. Now that I’ve had some time to get used to it, though, I like it. It’s easier to manage. It doesn’t get in the way all the time. And I’m even comfortable wearing my hair down sometimes. When it was long, I almost never let it down.

The single irritation with the new ‘do is my hair is naturally wavy. Without all that extra weight to pull it down, it kinda looks wild if I don’t straighten it. Sometimes this works to my advantage, though. Once in a while, my bangs look freakin’ awesome, and all I did was let them air dry.

It’s weird how much of my self esteem is tied into my hair. I know that’s somewhat normal, but I take it to a bit of an extreme. If my hair looks like crap, I don’t want to leave the house. Like, I don’t even want to put it in a ponytail and put on a ball cap because you can still see the ends. Just run your errands without me. I’ll be under the comforter pretending I have nice hair.

Master will have none of that, though. He thinks I’m beautiful just the way I am, and if I can’t see that, I’m an idiot. I love him for it. I think he’s insane. But if his insanity makes him think I’m beautiful, he’s more than welcome to keep that shit.

This new color, though, makes me stupidly happy. I feel pretty, even without makeup, and there’s a weird confidence bubbling up in my tummy. I’m just barely 20 pounds under my heaviest weight because we pretty much stopped exercising last year. I have no pants that fit me right. I haven’t felt like wearing makeup in months. Yet, here I sit, feeling pretty. Who knew all it would take is a dramatic hair color change?

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  1. January 10th, 2014 at 14:02 | #1

    LOVE the new color! It is odd how much of our self-image is tied to our hair tho – mine is too. AND I have the same issue with wavy/curly hair, so I know just what you mean.

  2. Camryn
    January 10th, 2014 at 15:58 | #2

    I think it looks wicked 🙂 That’s a very nice color. I’m glad you both like it, and I’m glad it makes you feel pretty.

  3. January 10th, 2014 at 16:11 | #3

    *high five* You should always feel pretty Rayne! Because you are absolutely gorgeous! And that color is so wonderful! I’m glad to see that you’re happy with the color it turned out to be! I remember you were very nervous about it =P

  4. Heaven
    January 10th, 2014 at 17:41 | #4

    I love it Rayne, it looks very good on you. You go girl. I know waiting on people sometimes can be a pain.

  5. January 10th, 2014 at 20:20 | #5

    @ Jade It drives me nuts. My family’s always like, “you should be grateful!” cuz it’s thick, and holds a curl, and blah. I want one or the other. Straight or curly. This in-between shit is annoying! Lol.

  6. January 10th, 2014 at 20:23 | #6

    @ Camryn Thanks! Would you believe this is only the second time I’ve had my hair dyed a color that doesn’t naturally occur in humans? The last time was this stuff, but it came out completely different. I like this color better.

  7. January 10th, 2014 at 20:24 | #7

    @ Reenie Aww thank you! I was nervous! Mostly, I was worried I should have looked for a different brand. But obviously, the problem was the user, last time, and not the dye. Live and learn, I guess.

  8. January 10th, 2014 at 20:34 | #8

    @ Heaven Thanks! I love it too. He’s been really busy, so I’ve tried not to get too annoyed. Lol.

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