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Being Good at Sex

October 14th, 2013

image by Melen – Click to enlarge

Master asked me a really good question on Wednesday, once we’d finally gotten my insanity under wraps. He asked me why being good at sex is “bad” or “shameful”.

The conversation started when he was trying to explain to me all the ways that I make his life better. I must’ve pulled a face when he said I keep his cock happy, because he said something like (paraphrasing at best), “Rayne, even if you failed at everything else in the world, you are a damn good fuck, and you will never fail at that, and I don’t understand why that has to be a bad thing.”

And, I mean, it’s not. For US. He and I do not view the fact that I rock his proverbial world in the sack as a bad or shameful thing. We think it’s awesome. We know lots of people who are not sexually satisfied and probably never will be because instead of discussing it with their partners, they choose to suffer through a lackluster sex life.

This, in my opinion, is the wrong way to go about things. And it’s not only causing them grief, but it’s causing their partners grief as well. Especially if the dissatisfaction leads to infidelity.

But the thing is, if you’re all about sex, and nothing else, people dismiss you. You can be good at any other one thing in the world, and people won’t treat you that way. They won’t come to you for help with any other stuff, because they know that you’re only good at that one thing, but they won’t act like you’re an idiot (or an airhead, at best), or can’t be trusted, or whatever. They’ll recognize your expertise, feign interest, and continue to treat you like a human being at least worthy of basic human decency. If you’re only good at sex, or if you admit that you’re good at sex (especially if you’re a sex geek), even if you are good at other things, some people act as if you are only good at sex, and for that reason, you are somehow less than.

People will stop talking to you because you talk about what you know about sex. I mean, isn’t that kind of ridiculous?

I’m not saying we should all be talking about sex in the grocery store when we run into our friends, but why aren’t we allowed to talk about it, ever?

Some people say it’s Christian puritanical bullshit, and maybe. But truly, the Bible is not all that down on the sexual intercourse, so why does the church seem to think it should wholeheartedly condemn sex in its entirety?

Humans are so funny.

Maybe since this new pope seems a little more liberal, things will start to change. Or maybe because he’s so liberal, he’ll mysteriously come down with a heart condition and have to step down. Who knows, right?

Why do you think it’s not okay to be good at sex?

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  1. dweaver999
    October 14th, 2013 at 21:23 | #1


    This is one of the mysteries of life that just confounds me. There are even insults driven solely by how much sex you get/like (e.g. slut). I do, however, know why many Christian churches view sex as an evil. Back in the early days of the Catholic church, when doctrines were being worked out, a doctrine arose that anything to do with the flesh was sinful, and anything to do with the spirit was good. Of course, sex was the prototypical activity of the flesh. This led to all sorts of insanities, including the idea that sex should not be enjoyed or talked about, and only put up with for procreation.

    The irony is that while the doctrine itself has been rejected as false, its effects are still with us. Thus we have these ideas that sex is somehow wrong, that it shouldn’t be talked about–to the point where many parents don’t talk to their kids properly about sex prior to and during adolescence. Many of the so called pagan religions (Wicca for example) treat sex far more maturely than many Christian religions.

    My wife has also pointed out that the concept of male ownership of women (a truism for most of history) also plays a role. For much of the history of the western world, non-virgins were worthless as wives, as the man would never (sic) know if the children she bore him were his or not, otherwise. This leads to the asinine double standard we have where men can play the field before marriage with no shame, but women are evil when they do. Quite stupid, actually.


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