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Archive for September, 2013

No Stupid (Kink) Questions: Episode 16 – You’re the master!

September 16th, 2013 Comments off

NoStupidKinkQuestionsGandhi said that if you want to change the world, you have to be the change you want to see. To that end, Insatiable Desire brings you No Stupid (Kink) Questions, a series of questions asked by novice kinksters around the web. If you have a question for us, leave it in comments, or send it to rayne (at) insatiabledesire (dot) com with “NS(K)Q” in the subject.

Question 16:

I’ve got this slave. I love it more than anything, and I’d love to keep it around. But it keeps ignoring the rules. I mean, I’m the owner. Shouldn’t my slave be doing at least some of what I say?

Disclaimer: I wrote this post for EdenCafe around the time I started losing faith in the company. I was hella drunk, and veered off the point a bit. I will be revisiting it this week. Moral of the story: never blog kink instructions when you’re sloshed.

So I’m sitting on the couch with M when suddenly I get the urge to lick his back. I cuddle up to him, snuggle my face between his back and the cushions and begin to lick and nip and kiss.

“That’s no fair.” he says.

“What’s no fair?” I ask, innocently.

“You’re teasing!” he says.

“It is impossible for me to tease.” I say back, matter-of-factly. And he just kinda stares at me. Read more…

I AM a survivor.

September 13th, 2013 8 comments
lotus_blossom_by_melen-d57zbc2

Image by Melen – click to enlarge

A while back, I said I was going through something, but I stayed pretty vague about it all. I mentioned the boob thing, but I didn’t really go into detail about what was causing it. I don’t like to talk about what I’m going through. I have so many worries surrounding discussing my survivor status.

For example, it’s been eleven years since my ex moved out of our apartment in the middle of the night. If there ever was any evidence of the abuse and sexual assault (aside from unreliable witnesses who were closer to him than me, there wasn’t), it’s gone. If he decided to out himself as my ex, and take me to court for defamation or libel, I have no proof that I’m telling the truth.

Of course, he has no proof that I’m not. Thanks to my semi-anonymity, he also has not been affected by my blog in any way, so I don’t know what he’d be able to claim. But I still worry about that. Even now, I don’t know that I could handle a court case in which I had to rip myself open to keep a total stranger from making me pay him for telling my story. And God only knows why, but I would give just about anything to keep our kids from finding out who their father was back then. Maybe because I don’t want them hurt by him any more than they already have been. Read more…

I have to ask permission for lots of things, but you draw the line at masturbation?

September 11th, 2013 9 comments

All3One of the first things Master took away from me when he collared me was my right to choose when, where, and how to pleasure myself.

I probably asked him why. That’s what I do. Being a slave, I’m just supposed to accept whatever orders he gives me without question, but I am the original Why Child, and I question everything. I mean, I still do what I’m told, even without the answer. But I almost always ask. It’s just my way. #slaveryfail

I’m sure that when I asked him why, he responded with, “Because I can.” That’s his way.

It’s possible that later he explained it. I have a distant memory of a discussion about my pleasure belonging to him with the rest of me. I remember him saying a time or two that he wanted to be the one to give me pleasure, even if that meant telling me when I could pleasure myself. Read more…

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Book Review: Dark Secret Love: A Story of Submission by Alison Tyler

September 10th, 2013 5 comments

2013-09-03 20.40.26Ooo, what’s that?

I am not a big erotica reader. I often say that I just don’t really like to read erotica, but the fact of the matter is, I’m just saying that to be nice. To be honest, I think most of it sucks.

Okay, okay. Some of it that I think sucks doesn’t suck for other people because it’s written by and for people who have sex like they do. Thing is, I don’t have sex like most people. I don’t really interact with people, and particularly my lovers, in the same way most people interact with each other. I never really have. So I often have a hard time relating to the characters, and throughout the entire story, plausible though it might be, I’m sitting there thinking, “This would never happen in my world.” Including some BDSM books.

Reading Dark Secret Love: A Story of Submission was a much different experience. Keep reading to find out why. Read more…

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No Stupid (Kink) Questions: Episode 14 – Things Change

September 9th, 2013 2 comments

NoStupidKinkQuestionsGandhi said that if you want to change the world, you have to be the change you want to see. To that end, Insatiable Desire brings you No Stupid (Kink) Questions, a series of questions asked by novice kinksters around the web. If you have a question for us, leave it in comments, or send it to rayne (at) insatiabledesire (dot) com with “NS(K)Q” in the subject.

Question 14:

So I’m a slave. I asked to be a slave. I want to be a slave. I love being a slave. But as the years progress, there are some things I’m realizing I need that I didn’t talk to my owner about when we were in the negotiating process. To be honest, they just never crossed my mind back then. Is it wrong for me to tell him that my needs have changed?

Disclaimer: For the purposes of this post, I will be using the term “master” in the unisex form and variations of the pronoun “they”. I dunno about you, but typing out all the slashy-speak required to cover all the genders twenty times in a post makes the ol’ fingers cramp. Like Jiz Lee, I like they.

I’m pretty sure I’ve said this before, but I’m going to say it again, anyway. No matter what your question, my opinion is precluded by your relationship agreement. I don’t know what your dynamic is like, and having nothing to do with your relationship, I’ve also got no influence whatsoever. As it should be. Read more…

Fear is a Four-Letter Word

September 6th, 2013 Comments off

I have a really hard time talking about my emotions. Somewhere along the line, I got the idea that emotions are weakness, and you should never let your weakness show. People will take advantage of your weakness.

But besides that, I obsess over the words I use.

Today, I feel melancholy.

No, that’s not right. Read more…

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