Home > No Stupid (Kink) Questions > No Stupid (Kink) Questions: Episode 16 – You’re the master!

No Stupid (Kink) Questions: Episode 16 – You’re the master!

September 16th, 2013

NoStupidKinkQuestionsGandhi said that if you want to change the world, you have to be the change you want to see. To that end, Insatiable Desire brings you No Stupid (Kink) Questions, a series of questions asked by novice kinksters around the web. If you have a question for us, leave it in comments, or send it to rayne (at) insatiabledesire (dot) com with “NS(K)Q” in the subject.

Question 16:

I’ve got this slave. I love it more than anything, and I’d love to keep it around. But it keeps ignoring the rules. I mean, I’m the owner. Shouldn’t my slave be doing at least some of what I say?

Disclaimer: I wrote this post for EdenCafe around the time I started losing faith in the company. I was hella drunk, and veered off the point a bit. I will be revisiting it this week. Moral of the story: never blog kink instructions when you’re sloshed.

So I’m sitting on the couch with M when suddenly I get the urge to lick his back. I cuddle up to him, snuggle my face between his back and the cushions and begin to lick and nip and kiss.

“That’s no fair.” he says.

“What’s no fair?” I ask, innocently.

“You’re teasing!” he says.

“It is impossible for me to tease.” I say back, matter-of-factly. And he just kinda stares at me.

Realizing he has no idea where I’m going with this, I grin.

“Well, you’re the boss.”

“Yeah, so?”

“So if you’re teased, it’s your own fault.”

“Is not!” he immediately shouted back like an impetuous five-year-old. But he saw the satisfied grin on my face growing wider and began to contemplate my assertion.

“How do you figure?” he asked cautiously, and I leaned back in my seat.

“Well, don’t you have the right to take me whenever you want?”


“If you have the right to take me whenever you want, and you don’t, then it’s your fault you got teased. Not mine.”

“Nu-unh!” he whined. “We can’t right now!”

“Sure we can.”

“No we can’t!”

“See? Entirely your fault.”

~speechless silence~

I never win arguments. It’s good to be me, today.

I’ve never really understood “slave owners” who spent a large amount of time bitching about how their possessions don’t make them happy.

Oh, I get that slaves are supposed to be pleasing. I understand with pristine clarity what it’s like to love someone so much you don’t want to offend them and/or lose them over something silly. But be honest with yourself. Is getting your needs met “something silly”? And if so, maybe you should be on the other side of the slash, eh?

Those masterly types have all sorts of options at their disposal. Especially in a relationship like my own. If I don’t perform at what M consider’s my best, he has the right to correct my behavior. I’ve given him permission to stop me in whatever way he’d like.

Lucky for me he’s fairly sane, I guess. With ultimate power comes ultimate responsibility.

If the owner in an owner/property relationship has a problem with his slave’s behavior, has the ability and consent to correct the unwanted behavior and doesn’t, then whose problem is it? Some would say the slave should just perform how it’s supposed to, and in most cases they’d probably be right. But sometimes, it’s just not that easy. Especially in the beginning.

Life gets in the way. The line in the dirt gets blurred. Becoming slave does not (always) do away with one’s autonomy. We still have thoughts and feelings and passions. They don’t always match those of our owners, and that’s not always a bad thing.

For example, I’m pretty passionate about the rest of the world being as comfortable with their sexuality as I am now. M? Could really care less. But he lets me yammer on about it anyway, because why not? It helps take some of the pressure off him financially, and it serves the whole sexual property mindset well. What better way to really drive home that a girl’s main function is sex than to surround her with it?

And besides all that, what fun would being a slave be if there was never any reason for the owner to exert his ownership over his property?

Set up a reward system. Create a punishment dynamic. Do something. Or deal with it. Or leave. Those are your options.

At least, that’s how I see it. Your mileage may vary.

Originally posted at EdenCafe.com on December 8, 2011.

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