Home > 30 Days of Kink > 30 Days of Kink: Cha-cha-cha-changes

30 Days of Kink: Cha-cha-cha-changes

July 15th, 2013

30 Days of KinkFor the rest of this series, and links to others who have participated, click here.

Full prompt: Since you first developed an interest in kink, have your interests/perspectives changed? How so?

The first time I had a name for the things I’m interested in was when my mother and I sat on the couch watching Exit to Eden, starring Dan Aykroyd and Rosie O’Donnell.

If you haven’t seen it, you should. Whether you’re kinky or not. It’s friggin’ hilarious. Best line ever is when Rosie tells the slave following her around that if he wants to impress her, he has to paint her house. But be warned. While I’ve heard there are places around the globe where you can absolutely spend some time living the glamorous fantasy presented in the movie Exit to Eden, it’s far from what being kinky is really like for the vast majority of us most of the time.

I was fourteen or fifteen when I watched that movie. And the first thought in my teen-aged mind was, “Oh my god, HOT!” There’s people running around in leather and latex. Pony girls and boys. Whips, and crops, and dominant men and women, and submissives, and slaves, and… And people paid to go there! Paid to have their sexual fantasies fulfilled by total strangers! I mean, yeah, in the book, the slaves come highly recommended from BDSM houses around the globe, and the dominants were screened, but oh my god! Can you imagine total strangers tying you up, naked, in a giant room full of other naked bodies, with a number marked on your skin with a grease pen? And all the people who aren’t tied up are fully clothed, and carrying whips, and paddles! And they touch you when ever and where ever they want, as often as they want, doing what ever they wish to your completely unprotected body!

I think I just died for a minute.

Sorry. I’m back.

At fourteen or fifteen, I could imagine it. Vividly. And every time I thought about it, I had to rush to my bedroom, and lock my door. But I couldn’t really imagine it any other way.

In my imagination, even chores were made something sexual in kinky relationships. I’d only have to do the dishes when my owner wanted to fuck, and the handle of the vacuum cleaner would be in my pussy more than it would be in my hand. I don’t know who I thought would take care of the house when my owner didn’t want to fuck, but it sure wouldn’t be me. Because I’d be tied up in the basement, or kept in a cage. Or I’d be entertaining his guests in the sitting room, in some state of humiliating undress, and allowing them to do things to and with me that, in polite company, I would never even dream of. Or I’d be sitting in the corner, ignored, while they enjoyed each other.

I read a lot that said a slave’s only responsibility is to obey. That as long as they were obedient, they couldn’t go wrong. Which is a great theory, and would probably be awesome in practice, but there’s just one hang-up that usually causes the whole thing to come toppling down on your head like a house of cards.

We’re human, too. We make mistakes, too. But they had an answer for that, too. They said that since the master does all the training, and makes all the rules, it’s his fault, responsibility, and problem when the slave makes a mistake, or steps out of line. That a slave shouldn’t ever be punished because it’s not her fault she wasn’t trained properly.

And while I see their point—and in the beginning, I even agreed!—I’m also of the mind that there’s a point where you’ve gone beyond the territory of improper training, and are treading on the precarious ground of not caring enough to get off your ass and do what you claimed you wanted to do. Which is great, if it works for you. Me, personally? I’m sick to death of being a person who says I’m going to do things, and then doesn’t, even though the majority of the time it’s because I don’t have time/money, and not because I don’t want to.

I wanted to believe in the “Master is always right” mantra. Wanted with all my mind, body, and soul to put M on that pedestal that reaches damn near all the way to The Great Purple Cabbage’s castle in the Adirondacks.

But there’s that whole human thing again. He knows a lot more than me. He definitely knows how he thinks a slave should behave better than me. But when it comes right down to it, he’s still a person, and people make mistakes. There are subjects I must absolutely defer to his knowledge on. The internet, computers, my slavery and how he wants me to behave, most games (except cards…seems he didn’t play many card games growing up), most books, anything regarding cinema, current events…

But there’s tons he’s finding he can learn from me, too. Like finding the good in things that are generally shitty. *I* used to be a “One True Wayist” and a member of “The Upper Kinkcrust”. All the ways around here were my ways! And damn it, why doesn’t it work for you like it works for me? If you’d just give it another try, or ten, it will! I promise!

I used to get pissed when people would tell me I’m wrong, for whatever reason. I mean, not just the ones who’d be jerks about it, but also the ones who’d say, “Well, honestly, I can’t/won’t/am not interested in doing that. Great that it works for you, though.” as well.

Told ya I’m a bitch.

As I’m growing older, though, and becoming more experienced in what works for M and me, I’m also beginning to better understand the meaning of “live and let live.” and, realizing that it’s okay to deviate from “the norm” if the norm doesn’t work for you. On either side. If only the rest of the community could grasp that concept.

Originally posted at EdenCafe.com on October 28, 2010.

  1. P’Gell
    July 19th, 2013 at 19:33 | #1

    When we were no older than 10 or 11 my BFF and I did unspeakable things with our Barbies, Kens and cousin’s GI Joes. Full on suspension bondage, whips, tape, anal sex, ravishment fantasies etc. Neither of us had ever heard of anything like that before. Where did we get the idea? Just being Kinkminded must start early or be with you when you’re born.

  2. August 5th, 2013 at 09:53 | #2

    @P’Gell That’s a really good question. Me and my friends did stuff like that, too. I dunno where it came from. Hopefully nothing bad jump-started our fantasies, but I can’t know for sure.

  3. P’Gell
    August 5th, 2013 at 12:41 | #3

    Some stuff happened when I was a kid (bad) but I don’t know if the Kink or that happened first. Kinda blurred around.

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