Archive for July, 2013

No Stupid (Kink) Questions: Episode 4 – Aging Slaves

July 29th, 2013 4 comments

NoStupidKinkQuestionsGandhi said that if you want to change the world, you have to be the change you want to see. To that end, Insatiable Desire brings you No Stupid (Kink) Questions, a series of questions asked by novice kinksters around the web. If you have a question for us, leave it in comments, or send it to rayne (at) insatiabledesire (dot) com with “NS(K)Q” in the subject.

Question 4:

Slaves, just like everyone else, get old. They get sick. If they give up everything, who takes care of them in these times? What if the relationship ends, or the owner dies? And here’s this slave, who hasn’t had a job in years, thrust back into society, and pretty much unhireable.

A lot of people scoff at these questions. I mean, people have survived break-ups and partner deaths since the beginning of time, and society has ways of dealing with aging humans. But let me be honest with you, and tell you that this is one of my biggest fears, and I’m not, by any means, a novice.

I’m thirty years old, and I’ve been rough on my body. I have persistent tendinitis in more than one joint. In the ones I don’t, I’ve got arthritis. I’m working on a good case of carpal tunnel syndrome, what with all the typing I do. My mental illnesses might get worse, not better, when I’m young enough to retire. (You like what I did there, huh?) Especially if I develop dementia, which runs in my family, along with type 2 diabetes, heart disease, and breast cancer. And I have a severe irrational fear of doctors and nurses and paramedics and… Notice that I do admit that I know it’s irrational. Knowing that is little comfort, and I’ll still suffer through tremendous amounts of pain, and illness, before finally giving in, and visiting a clinic. Read more…

Update: New Affiliates, Upcoming Sex Toy Goodness, and a Short Hiatus

July 26th, 2013 Comments off

Look! I'm not wearing black!

So I’ve been lax in posting this week. I have an excuse! My mom’s coming up TOMORROW.

Yes. My mom. By herself. Can you believe it?

I’m so nervous. SO NERVOUS. I haven’t seen her since Disney, and haven’t talked to her much either, because I suck at being a daughter. But we’ve got all sorts of plans, and we’re going to have a great time.

Master took the whole week off, and Mom goes home on Wednesday or Thursday, so we’ll have some time to hang out by ourselves. That’s gonna be awesome, too. Wish we could afford to go up to the Adirondacks and pitch a tent. That’s going to have to wait till fall, though. Stupid broken laptop.

Speaking of broken laptops, we’re so broke right now it’s painful, because we had to fix the car and buy me a new laptop. If this wasn’t my way of bringing money in the house, we would have said fuck it, and I would have continued futzing around on my iPad, but without the nifty BlueTooth keyboard, doing the things I have to do to bring in money on an iPad takes FOREVER, and sucks hardcore. Plus, all the good office suites for iGadgets cost an arm and a leg. So a new laptop seemed like the best choice. One of our friends (who is way more awesome than I can put to words) financed a laptop for me, and even though he can pay it off over 6 months, we decided to pay it off in two because we hate owing people money, and they just bought a house and are on their way to their second child so they don’t need any extra stress. Read more…

Categories: Rayne Tags:

Sometimes there’s only one thing left to say.

July 23rd, 2013 2 comments

MeGaggedYesterday, Master turned to me and said, “Why don’t you get the dishes done and then get in the shower?”

And I snapped, “I’m writing.”

I mean, I was…sort of. I was actually surfing the web for a topic, and had veered off into the weeds a little. Apparently, Miley Cyrus said she feels like a man in an interview, and now people are wondering if she’s questioning her sexuality. So I was searching around trying to figure out what the fuck they were talking about, as if that has any business on any of the sites I currently write for. But I thought maybe I could squeeze a post out of it, ya know?

Yeah, that was dumb. The weed combing and the snapping at Master.

I made a big to-do about getting up and doing the dishes afterward, as if I had any right, and then I stomped off to the shower. And while I’m scrubbing, he pokes his head in and says, “Hey, maybe we should communicate with each other, instead of you going off? What do you think?”

What else could I say, but, “Yes, Master.”

30 Days of Kink: What’s your opinion on online BDSM play?

July 22nd, 2013 5 comments

30 Days of KinkFor the rest of this series, and links to others who have participated, click here.

I’ve been owned for eight years. Of those eight years, I’ve been involved in the online BDSM community in some way, shape or form. At first, through IRC. Then I started Then I joined Then I started looking around for other submissive blogs. And then, finally, I found

My opinion about online anything has been all over the place since practically day one.

Something people tend to forget when discussing online relationships, of any sort, is that there are still real people at the other end of the wire. Real conversations, heated debates, and occasional arguments are had. Real emotions, just as passionate as you’ll find in any face-to-face friendship or romance, are involved. Real bonds are formed.

I have a couple very close friends that I would, any time they needed me to, and so long as I was able, drop everything and give them a hand, a shoulder, M’s left testicle (What? I’d give them mine, but I don’t have one!). I have never met them in real life. We’ve discussed it, and I can almost guarantee that when we finally do, it will be amazingly fantabulous. We’ll laugh. And cry. We’ll embrace, and plant great big kisses on tear-soaked cheeks. We’ll drink lots of coffee, or wine, or beer, and chatter till the wee hours of the night, while the guys compare flogging techniques, or computer code, or whatever else they have in common. We won’t want to part ways when it’s time. And we’ll make oodles of plans to meet again. Read more…

He hears me.

July 19th, 2013 6 comments

Cold Sunset by Melen (@Mindcryme)

A long time ago, Master and I got into the fight to end all fights. We have never gotten into another argument like it since, and I hope like hell that we never do again. At some point in our arguing, he looked me straight in the eye, and said, “Rayne, every time we do this, you lose something. You need to knock it off, or everything will be gone before you know it.”

I brushed it off as Master trying to blackmail me into giving him his way.

Stop laughing. It’s really not funny.

Okay, so it’s a little funny.

I was such a kid when I got involved with this man. And I was coming out of an abusive relationship with a boy who did, regularly, blackmail me to get his way. When that didn’t work, he tried other methods, like fake suicide attempts and armed robberies. Read more…

Categories: Rayne Tags:

30 Days of Kink: Post a kink related song or music video you enjoy.

July 17th, 2013 Comments off

“Happiness In Slavery”

slave screams he thinks he knows what he wants
slave screams thinks he has something to say
slave screams he hears but doesn’t want to listen
slave screams he’s being beat into submission

don’t open your eyes you won’t like what you see
the devils of truth steal the souls of the free
don’t open your eyes take it from me
I have found
you can find
happiness in slavery

slave screams he spends his life learning conformity
slave screams he claims he has his own identity
slave screams he’s going to cause the system to fall
slave screams but he’s glad to be chained to that wall

don’t open your eyes you won’t like what you see
the blind have been blessed with security
don’t open your eyes take it from me
I have found
you can find
happiness in slavery

I don’t know what I am I don’t know where I’ve been
human junk just words and so much skin
stick my hands through the cage of this endless routine
just some flesh caught in this big broken machine


Okay, so this song’s not actually about BDSM slavery. It just takes a line from The Story of O, and builds on it. Reading the lyrics, though, it sounds like the “slave” is mankind and the “machine” is society. Which makes sense. But I have found you can find happiness in slavery. And every time I hear this song, it makes me think about just how much happiness I’ve found in slavery, and I get all sorts of hot and bothered. So there you have it.