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Seriously, fuck this week.

June 8th, 2013
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Suddenly, the rain makes sense.

I’m not sure I’ve had a worse week in years. We started with a total freak out about everything about me, and we’re closing it with a dead computer. Fucking great! I’m totally stoked.

I cannot tell you what number of “lost my entire backlog of writing and all rough drafts in my portfolio” I’m on. You’d think by now I’d have backed everything up. But I didn’t. And no, I don’t need your help pointing out how stupid that is because M’s been pointing it out since my computer refused to boot, thank you very much.

We might be able to save the hard drive, but we can’t afford a new computer right now. And normally, we’d be able to build one from odds and ends, but silly me went and got comfortable, and donated the old monitors we had lying around to strangers on the Internet. Because I’m awesome. And stupid. And…blah.

The only reason I haven’t hanged myself is because I’m not allowed. See? Owner/property relationships are totally beneficial to the mentally ill.

I was tempted to say fuck it. I even told M I quit. Every single fucking time I begin to build up a portfolio, something happens. The basement floods, or the house burns down, or a hard drive fries. Or I spill a whole glass of whiskey in my laptop. Which is not what happened this time. This time, it didn’t go to sleep, overheated, and burnt out the CPU.

Maybe I’m just not meant to be a writer. Maybe this is the Universe saying, “Who the fuck do you think you are? Steven King? Get off your ass and get a job.”

I know, quite intimately, the feeling Amanda Palmer discusses in her TED Talk when people yell for her to get a job.

But you know, I’m more inclined to think it’s the Universe saying, “Dude, you wanna do something with this? You’re gonna have to work for it.”

Plus, I mean, I do have this here handy dandy iPad. I don’t yet know how to touch type without staring at the letters, but I can learn anything if I put my mind to it. I will have to train myself to watch the screen for f’ed up autocorrections, though. This thing just turned learn into Korean. I don’t think I’ve ever typed Korean on this thing.

So, you know what? Throw some more bullshit my way, Universe. I’m a survivor. I’ll get through this, too.

UPDATE (6/11/13): Don’t tempt the Universe. Fuck this week, too.

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  1. NozomiChild
    June 8th, 2013 at 19:46 | #1

    I’m glad for your persistent attitude. πŸ™‚ Keep at it. I’m extremely sorry for your losses, it’s one of the worst, most irreplaceable things you can lose, but don’t fret, there are ways to get it back. If you have the hard drive, at the very least, you’re solid. It’s only a matter of time until you get it back on another computer some time in the future. πŸ™‚ I would have felt worse if you had stuck with that desire to just give up an quit, because that’s where the real loss lies.

  2. June 9th, 2013 at 10:49 | #2

    @NozomiChild Thanks for this. Seriously. It was more helpful than I can express.

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