Archive for June 4th, 2013

Needing to Feel the Leash

June 4th, 2013 2 comments

I make faces at my iPad because I'm bizarre. This one felt like it fit.

I make faces at my iPad because I’m bizarre. This one felt like it fit.

So the other day, I said to Master, “Daddy, I want you to be controlling again.”

Because lately, he just isn’t. I mean, there’s sadism in our sex, and I still have rules, and blah, but he doesn’t really tell me what to do. Partly because I just do it and partly because…

“But when I do, you’re a bitch.”

This is a (sort of) recent development (if by “recent development”, I mean it’s been happening the last couple years). Before it was an issue of me having a job that put me right in front of him giving the illusion that I was able to just stop what I was doing whenever he wanted me to so I could do things he wanted me to do, though the reality was that I was hourly and expected to be tethered to my computer at all hours of the day despite being refused overtime pay. These days, I’m just bitchy all around. Mostly because I’ve been going through something, but also because I’m really caught up in my own bullshit (different from what I’m going through), and focused on the wrong things. Read more…

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