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The “Silicone” Ball Gag -or- Why We Need Dildology.org

May 19th, 2013

dildology200donate-150x150It wasn’t long after M and I got together that he took me to our first sex toy store. The first toy we bought together was a jelly vibrator with ribs. I loved it. And I brushed off the burning as something wrong with me instead of something wrong with the toy.

A short while later, we got a jelly butt plug, and we weren’t privy to the whole “use it with a condom” thing, or the fact that jelly tends to melt. I’m not clear on whether this is actual melting, or if the chemicals just break down and turn to mush, or what. But one day, I went to get the plug out of the toy box, and it was missing small chunks. I pulled everything else out, expecting to find a mess reminiscent of a diaper exploding after your kid goes swimming, but the missing pieces were just gone. EdenFantasys still carries it. Most online sex toy stores do, actually.

That was enough to scare me away from insertable jelly. The next plug we purchased was the Tantus Zing. We’ve owned nothing but silicone, glass and stainless steel anal toys since. 

I think the most disturbing sex toy mishap, though, had to be the “silicone” ball gag M picked up from Extreme Restraints or JT’s Stockroom. I forget which, and it doesn’t matter, because they took it off the market shortly after I and other bloggers (long, LONG before I got into reviewing) started complaining about it. It looked like silicone. It felt like silicone. It had a bit of a smell to it, but we all just assumed it was the packaging, and the smell went away after awhile.

The first few uses, it was great! No matter how hard I bit down, I couldn’t leave a mark. It mostly paralyzed my jaw and tongue, and I couldn’t push it out of my mouth.

Don't ask why I still have the burny gag. I DON'T KNOW!

Click to enlarge and you can see the (much more apparent now that it’s started to disintegrate) difference between the fake silicone and Tantus silicone. Not much visual difference, right? Don’t ask why I still have the burny gag. I DON’T KNOW! I threw it out after taking that picture.

And then the burning started. At first just my lips, and we figured we somehow managed to get something on it between washing it and putting it to my lips (what the fuck, right?), so we were super careful washing it a second time, and plopped it right in my mouth. It was fine for a while, and then my mouth, tongue and throat were on fire. Here M was barely touching me, and I was sobbing from the burning in my throat. I damn near unhinged my jaw trying to tell him what was going on.

That thing (pictured left with some Tantus toys) is so not silicone. Who knows what I really ingested?

I still tried other materials in my pussy, though. I even intentionally picked out a finger vibe with a jelly sleeve shaped like a platypus for sentimental reasons. Hey, if it’s not insertable, it’s okay, right? I was so naive. And disappointed when I found a puddle of sticky, gooey mess in the bag I kept it in a year or so after I reviewed it.

I’ve slowly shifted my collection over to phthalate free (they say) plastics, silicone, glass, stainless steel, and other materials considered body safe. Even if in ten years, the tides change, and suddenly science tells us phthalates are good for us (anything’s possible, right?), I just feel better when I use these materials because of what we know about them when they’re pure, like their nonporous quality, and their ability to be disinfected, and their lack of harmful mystery chemicals.

So imagine my horror when it became painfully clear some companies were selling harmful materials and labeling them “100% silicone”, “medical grade”, “phthalate free”, and “body safe” without even actually knowing what’s in the toy, in some cases. And it’s legal. How messed up is that?

Enter Dildology.org. Sex geeks Crista, Valentine, and DangerousLilly created Dildology to give sex toy users a place to turn when they’re unsure about the true safety of a toy’s materials.

Their pledge to the sex toy lovers of the world:

WE WILL:

  • accept monetary donations.
  • accept product donations from third-party retail stores and wholesalers.
  • purchase products from third-party retail stores.
  • choose products to test based on community feedback.
  • send products to accredited labs for testing.
  • compare the material composition of products to the manufacturers’ claims.
  • share the results of lab tests with manufacturers.
  • record the results of the lab tests in our wiki.
  • make our wiki available to the public.
  • provide other educational resources to the public.

WE WILL NOT:

  • accept product donations directly from manufacturers.
  • test second-hand products – only those acquired directly from retail stores and wholesalers.
  • test any product manufactured more than one year ago.
  • publish opinions about products or manufacturers – only facts.
  • falsify data, for any reason.
  • suppress or fail to publish the results of any test.

They need $20,000 to get started. That $20k will cover the cost of buying and testing 25 dildos (tests cost $200-450). Up to this point, they’ve been supporting the place out of pocket. They need your help, my help, your mom’s help, everybody’s help! If you support material transparency in sex toys, tell people about Dildology everywhere you can, go vote for their project on Offbeatr, and drop a dime in the bucket to give them a hand. Or do it if you just want to make DangerousLilly’s birthday a little more awesome. Cuz, ya know, that’s today. Happy birthday, Lilly!

Okay, okay, if that’s not enough incentive, here are some others:

  • $15 donation – Receive a 15% off coupon code redeemable at SheVibe (US donors), or Lovehoney (UK donors)! And, if you’re a blogger, Marvy Darling will advertise for you for a month for free.
  • $25 donation – Receive lesser reward AND a Dildology spyglass crossbone sticker when we reach our goal!
  • $50 donation – Receive all lesser rewards AND an official DILDOLOGIST t-shirt when we reach our goal!
  • $100 donation – Receive all lesser rewards AND be included on our website’s list of donors!
  • $250 donation – Receive all lesser rewards AND choose one of the next products we test!
  • $500 donation – Receive all lesser rewards AND naked pictures of the founders (maybe)!

In the name of all the sex toy lovers out there, dooo eeet! Please?

<3

P.S. Just in case you’re wondering, the only reasons I’m posting this are a) I believe in material transparency and b) I trust the people who founded Dildology to use our money to that end. But if my reasons aren’t enough to convince you, click the image below to check out what the other bloggers who came together in support of the project had to say.

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  1. May 19th, 2013 at 10:06 | #1

    Remembering @duckyduckydoo’s tip of testing sex toys on your lips as I read abt @RayneMillaray’s lip-burning ball gag http://t.co/QrX81p1piZ

  2. May 19th, 2013 at 11:25 | #2

    Toxic sex toys coming to a crotch near you? Not if @dildology can help it! http://t.co/Cvf0f0n3JR

  3. May 19th, 2013 at 14:10 | #3

    The “Silicone” Ball Gag -or- Why We Need http://t.co/a1TWzvMIoW: http://t.co/v4K0wtpGnd

  4. May 22nd, 2013 at 12:25 | #4

    I feel like you need a short horror flick about this…”The Ball Gag From Hell!” lol Great Dildology piece.
    xxPenny

  5. sinbob
    December 25th, 2013 at 06:02 | #5

    i am sad to report that the faux silicone ball gag is still being sold at http://www.healthyandactive.com which is a lesser known affiliate of Extreme Restraints.

    It’s a different color than yours, but note the same marbled jelly texture: http://tinyurl.com/gagburn

    Sadly, i can personally attest to the same burning sensation, this was to be my first brave purchase of a gag for myself.. and i probably ‘forced’ myself to endure it longer than i should have. Eventually the burning and stinging sensations led to disconcerting numbness, and it all became too much for me. But despite all of that, i was still just blaming myself, presuming some freakish allergic reaction. i was fearful my body was allergic to my own fetishes.. So imagine my surprise and relief when i came across here! Posts like this one are a huge service. Thank you for for being so candid and thorough.

    btw: the Extreme Restraints “Ball Gags” section still has some ball gags which bear a striking resemblance to that evil marbled jelly texture..

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