Home > Rayne > “Oh, by the way? In case it wasn’t clear, you’re back in slave mode.”

“Oh, by the way? In case it wasn’t clear, you’re back in slave mode.”

May 10th, 2012

It struck me when he said it, but I brushed it off within days. You see, when there’s not much control to speak of for months (maybe a year?), I begin to get too big for my britches.

“Well, if he’s not going to hold up his end of the bargain, then why. the fuck. should I?”

Which reason would you like first?

Because nowhere in our agreement does it say, “If Master’s feeling like letting out the leash, you’re allowed to be a brat to get your way.”

Because we’ve discussed it over, and over, and over, and I’ve commented on forum thread, after forum thread, after forum thread about how it doesn’t matter how I behave when things are going exactly how I think they should go. It matters how I behave when he’s sick, or tired, or too busy to be constantly in my face about my slavery, or just doesn’t want to, or whatever. 

Because to him, letting out my leash occasionally is “being nice” and “letting me breathe” and I should be grateful for the gesture even if I hate the end result.

Because sometimes him letting out my leash occasionally is him “being nice” (because he doesn’t want to but my mental state, work load, personal stress level, whatever demands it, or whatever other scenario) and I should be grateful for the gesture because the end result is necessary.

I think that’s enough reasons for now, though I bet if I sat here a while, I could come up with a dozen, or so, more.

He threatened me with micromanagement. And for a moment, I wanted to scream, “Yes, PLEASE! Anything is better than being left to my own devices when you’re literally right next to me.”

But I know in my heart of hearts that micromanagement makes me angry. I am not six-years-old and I do not need someone standing over me every minute of the day making sure I’m dotting my Is and crossing my Ts—she says as she stomps her feet and clenches her fists.

I mean, if I need micromanagement because I just can’t seem to get a handle on myself without it, then by all means! Micromanage me. But don’t, for a minute, think I’m going to make it easy on you. I try not to get irritated by it, but then something happens like I’m literally about to die of starvation and I can’t get Master on the phone to tell me I can eat a sandwich, or I had to pee so bad I already flooded the office, and suddenly the urge to murder the object of my affection is so great I can actually see myself (in my mind, in case it was unclear – Master’s living and breathing beside me, I swear) picking up a knife and stabbing him in the temple.

There might be something wrong there. I mean do other slaves get mad over stuff like that, or do they go all squishy between their legs? Ah what difference does it make? They’re not me.

Long story short, Daddy ain’t playin’ right now. >.> Anyone up for a game of poke the sadist?


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  1. May 10th, 2012 at 21:02 | #1

    “Oh, by the way? In case it wasn ’t clear, you ’re back in slave mode. ” #erotic http://t.co/HUjJZvzc

  2. May 11th, 2012 at 14:28 | #2

    Poke the sadist? Always!

    I should learn. ><

    NK x

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