Home > Rayne > Updatedness: Here goes nothing! -or- Life with Melen and Rayne

Updatedness: Here goes nothing! -or- Life with Melen and Rayne

March 16th, 2012

This? Is my “Here goes nothing!” face. I snapped this picture on Sunday right before we ran out the door to attend a heavy metal concert that included two bands I’d never heard before and a third I absolutely adore, but had never seen live. We’d found a really, really old clip on YouTube a few years back, and it was awful, so I had no idea what to expect.

The opener was Warbringer, a thrash metal band from California. I’ve never been a huge fan of bands that scream and growl more than they sing, but Warbringer really pulls it off. At least, live. I still haven’t heard any of their recorded stuff. But the best parts were how into their music they were and their theatrical facial expressions. They obviously understand the importance of stage presence and dramatic expression. Most of the band made sure their facial expressions and gestures were larger than life and fit with what they were singing. 

Next came Symphony X. I am thoroughly in lust with Russell Allen. Aside from having an amazing singing voice, that man can move his hips like it’s nobody’s business. Watching him on stage gave me a girl boner like no one but M has ever managed. A couple times he noticed me taking pictures or vids and played to the iPhone. And when he went off stage, he shook my hand. But despite stealing the show visually, Russell wasn’t able to steal the crowd’s attention entirely (and didn’t try, which was awesome). Symphony X is made up of really incredible musicians who had no trouble grabbing and keeping your attention when they wanted it. Michael Romeo, especially.

For those two bands, there was only one person between me and the rail. And because it’s such a small venue, there was only about five feet between the rail and the stage. One of the bigger bouncers had to walk sideways to fit. Being that close to such incredible musicians is an amazing experience.

But not quite as amazing as getting to ride the rail for Iced Earth. The people in front of us left after Symphony X and I rushed to the rail with a couple kids. They were who I was there to see, but I find myself wishing we’d gotten there early enough for us to grab a rail spot for all the bands.

Iced Earth has a new lead singer named Stu Block. I can’t even begin to describe this guy’s voice to you. You’ll just have to hear it to believe it. There aren’t many singers who can cover as many octaves as he can. And he was just plain fun!

I’ve got a huge crush on John Schaffer. That man can really look evil when he wants to. He’s full of talent. And the brain on him! Oh my god! What I wouldn’t do to sit in a room and have a conversation with him.

Their bassist is just plain hot. They usually are.

Of course, we chose a spot front and center, and that’s also about where the mosh pit begins. We were constantly getting slammed. I loved it. I’m such an adrenaline junkie, and mine was cranked. M ended up in a lot of pain, though, cause he did what he could to keep the pit from crushing me. He’s awesome like that.

The other day, I was deleting old pics on my iPod and saw that picture again. I’d only glanced at it to make sure it was mostly in focus before running out the door. I had no idea what it looked like or if it was worth keeping.

When I really looked at it, I laughed out loud. That one picture embodies how I’ve felt for at least a month. “Here goes nothing!”

There have been quite a few changes to our life over the past few months. Not the least of which being some major changes to my position at EdenFantasys. I chose not to discuss them here right away for reasons I’m not really ready to hash out, but I’ve come to the conclusion that not talking about it is silly. Especially since it’s public knowledge now.

I’m now full time at EdenFantasys. I edit SexIs and run the SexIs Twitter account. Because of how it came about, and the huge changes in the works that I’m helping plan, it has been insanely stressful and time consuming. And let’s not forget the fact that I’ve never done anything like this on a professional level before. I mean, yeah, I did blog content management for EdenCafe for a while, and I’ve designed and run my own website (with M’s help) for years, but this is completely different.

I won’t lie. It’s HARD! But I’m having a blast. I’ve already gotten to talk to people over the phone that I admire and look up to, even if I did end up sounding like a nervous, disorganized wreck. I expect it to get easier as time goes on, and I get used to the fact that they’re not going to hate me because I say something stupid or make a mistake.

I’m really liking the idea of being part of creating the new platform and direction of SexIs. Even if I’m not the one doing the writing, I will have a hand in guiding the content, which gives me some ability to guide the message as well. And we’ve got a great contributing team who are perfect for the message we’re hoping to portray. So I’m really excited to see how this goes. “Here goes nothing!”

Things around the house have changed a bit, too. We rarely ever argue, and when we do it’s about the news or something. I’m pretty sure I’ve typed exactly that before, so I’m sure that’ll change. Relationships, like everything else, tend to go in cycles.

The weird thing is how accepting of it all I am these days. Oh, M’s in a bad mood. “Hey, what’s eating you?” “Blah this, blah that, blah bad mood.” “Oh, okay, well if there’s anything I can do let me know!” So, what to do now. Maybe I’ll play DC Universe. Cause it’s just life! God, if only someone could have gotten that through my thick skull in high school!

The super awesome thing, though, is that M has recognized that it’s next to impossible for me to work a full time job (that usually takes up well over 8 hours of my day), clean the house, cook all three meals, spend time with and take care of him, take care of our mini zoo, work out and have time for myself (when he allows it). Unless, of course, he wants to start considering cooking and cleaning “spending time with him,” and he doesn’t. So he’s started helping. A lot. A lot, a lot, a lot. As in, in the past week, I’m pretty damn sure he’s done more chores than I have.

He is more awesome than I can say.

I still have a bit of guilt over it, but I’m coming to terms with it. I didn’t ask for his help, he just saw me struggling and started helping. So it must be what he wants to do. Who am I to tell him he can’t do what he wants to do? Especially when what he wants to do is help me out!

I need someone to design a robot that looks just like me and can do everything I do except sex. No way am I letting someone stand in for me with sex. Share? Sure. Replace? Fuck you.

We’ve got a kid living over us now, and occasionally a toddler, so what little bit of S&M we did get up to is pretty much shot unless we know for sure our neighbors aren’t home. I miss it. A lot. But we’re looking for a house to rent, so hopefully it won’t be too much longer.

The radio gig’s going pretty well. My articles get a good amount of hits, and people seem to like them. A couple have started debates on Facebook, and some have been mentioned on the radio. So that’s cool.

I’m working on my relationship with my family.

We had a really bad scare with my dad. Super high blood pressure, chest pains, migraines. He went to the emergency room, and they couldn’t find anything wrong. A week later, it happened again, so he went back. They med-evaced him to the heart hospital and did an angiogram, only to find there are no blockages and he still hasn’t had a heart attack. He’s been to an internist and they’re adjusting his medications but they still don’t know what’s wrong. That’s scary.

It made me realize I want to reach out one more time. See how it goes. So I have. And we’ll see.

Summer’s coming! We’re going camping. Lots! Period. End of sentence.

Life is pretty good, right now, despite the system trying to fuck M up the ass (as usual) and a villain from our past (on M’s side this time) showing up out of nowhere. So I guess that’s all I’ve got to say about that.

Hope you’re well. <3

Categories: Rayne Tags:
  1. March 16th, 2012 at 21:24 | #1

    Glad to hear life is going well for you. Things have changed so much for you recently I’m glad you are enjoying it 🙂

  2. March 17th, 2012 at 04:30 | #2


    Congratulations on the promotion(?).


  3. March 17th, 2012 at 06:19 | #3

    Rayne: Updatedness: Here goes nothing! -or- Life with Melen and Rayne: This? Is my “Here goes nothing!” f… http://t.co/a6gNGVzm #slave

  4. Traci Perrotta
    March 23rd, 2012 at 20:25 | #4

    I was at that show, I work there as a runner which is the person who gets what ever the bands need. What is the next show you plan on going to? we have a lot coming up.

  5. March 23rd, 2012 at 21:01 | #5

    @lunaKM, @dweaver999 Thanks, you guys. 🙂 Luna, there have been a lot of changes, huh? It’s been a lot of fun.

    @Traci Perrotta So far, we’re going to Trapt, and Buckcherry. We originally got the Trapt tickets to check out the venue. Then we found out Iced Earth was going to be there, so we got those tickets. I’m not even sure I could identify a Trapt song, but we’re gonna go anyway. At worst we’ll hang out by the bar and get sloshed. Lol.

    God, a runner for the bands? Lucky bitch. Lol. Trade ya jobs! 😛

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