Archive for July, 2011

Our day in a word? Perfect.

July 31st, 2011 2 comments

So I was instructed to write about our day. Like I wouldn’t have anyway. Silly Master.

We’d talked about going to Denny’s for breakfast but it’s Sunday and Denny’s is the place to be on Sunday. Especially a brand new Denny’s in a poor neighborhood with at least ten nursing homes, assisted living facilities and senior apartment complexes within a ten minute drive at ten miles under the speed limit. So instead, we popped into a Dunkin Donuts and grabbed some breakfast sandwiches and coffee. Then we hit the road for some of our favorite places up north, singing and talking along the way.

First we wanted to go to the waterfall we went to the first week we were together. we were thwarted by a “Road Closed” sign that’s always there. I didn’t remember until we were on the way to Saratoga Battlefields. So we went to Ascension Stone (which they call Ascension Rock, but everyone I know calls it Ascension Stone) instead. It’s by the William Miller Chapel in Fairhaven, Vermont. Master didn’t trust me to remember how to get there since it had been quite a long time. Read more…

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July 30th, 2011 5 comments

So I put my knitting on the arm of the couch, and the yarn ball rolled down the couch to M’s leg and fell on the floor. He yells, “Wait! Wait!” all frantic, but doesn’t even move.

I just stared at Him for a minute before He yelled, “I tried to stop it!”

Lose weight to lose weight? Ffs. But the mountains! Now there’s a good reason.

July 30th, 2011 Comments off

So that whole “getting into shape” thing? We just kicked it into seriously high gear. In the past five days, we’ve walked 12.5 miles, which isn’t much for people who’ve been doing this forever, but is huge for a couple fatties like us. Until recently, you’d be lucky to get us to walk more than a mile at a time unless there was a Geocache or a Farmers Market at the end.

We bought a new scale. The old one was busted. Unfortunately, we know for sure the old one was busted because it kept saying M weighs 298. He actually weighs 306. I weighed in at 244.6. Course, it was the end of the day, and we both had clothes on. But I’m gonna go ahead and say that’s pretty accurate. Read more…

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Mmm… Please, Master, can I have some more?

July 28th, 2011 Comments off

He told me to take my clothes off. I looked at Him like He’d lost His mind.

“I’m not hungry yet, and I said get  your clothes off!” He said, as we both laughed a little, and He slapped me a couple times.

I went to the bedroom and tugged my shirt over my head, not even trying to act sexy. I couldn’t be seen from where I usually sit. He definitely couldn’t see me. I unhooked my bra and threw it on the bed, then slid my cargo capris to my ankles. I turned toward the door as I tossed my capris on top of my bra and shirt, leaving them to be dealt with later, and started to walk to the living room. Read more…

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Punching and Laughing

July 23rd, 2011 2 comments

Master slapped me. So in a rare moment of sheer stupidity, and without hesitation, I hauled off and punched Him (with not even a quarter of my strength. I value my life!) in the thigh.

He punched me back.

“Don’t hit me back!” Then He punched me again. “OW! That was a charlie horse!”

I started giggling. “That was the point.”

He punched me again. “Want me to give you a charlie horse?”

I  laughed harder and shifted to protect my legs. “NO! You’re way meaner than I am!”

“You’re damn right.”

I could hear the pride in His voice. And I, of course, laughed harder.

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I do things at my own pace.

July 20th, 2011 4 comments

So I’m peeing, and M walks through the hall. One of the cats has kicked kitty litter all over the floor. It’s like they decided to play sand castle or some shit.

M hates that. So do I. And He’s all, “You need to sweep this up.”

So since I was done peeing anyway, wiping and all, I walk into the kitchen, grab the broom and sweep up the kitty litter. Read more…

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