Home > No Stupid (Kink) Questions > No Stupid (Kink) Questions: Episode 12 – Toy Bags

No Stupid (Kink) Questions: Episode 12 – Toy Bags

February 2nd, 2011

NoStupidKinkQuestionsGandhi said that if you want to change the world, you have to be the change you want to see.Β To that end, Insatiable Desire brings you No Stupid (Kink) Questions, a series of questions asked by novice kinksters around the web.Β If you have a question for us, leave it in comments, or send it to rayne (at) insatiabledesire (dot) com with “NS(K)Q” in the subject.

Question 12:

I’m just starting this submissive gig, and people keep talking about things like “bonded” toys, and such. What the heck is a bonded toy? Do I need my own toy bag? And if so, what should be in it?

A “bonded toy” (there are other terms, but this is the one I’ve heard the most) is a toy that is made of a material that is unsafe to share between partners without some form of protection because it’s been used by someone without protection. So, like, a leather whip someone’s bled on, or a TPE toy someone inserted without a condom.

The necessity of your own toy bag depends on you, the person you’re playing with, and the materials you’ll be using.

There are all sorts of sex toy materials that are nonporous and can be disinfected. Some kinds of ropes can be bleached, but they eventually dry out and become rough. There are ways to disinfect even leather, but it usually means more maintenance and elbow grease, and quicker deterioration. (This review, by Lara, discusses how to do this.) However, some people prefer not to share porous materials just to be on the safe side. And with the diseases you can get by accidentally mixing bodily fluids, who can blame them, really?

The benefits of having a toy bag filled with your own toys, though, are endless. You’ll have them if you want to use them on your own. If you play with multiple partners who also play with multiple partners, you’ll know, for sure, your toys are safe to be used on you. When you play with someone, it’ll be with toys that are tried and true, and not things you don’t know you’ll like. … Endless.

Here are some things I’d put in a toy bag if I ever had to build my own:

  • A mild antibacterial soap
  • Antiseptic and band-aids if you expect bloodletting, or even just in case
  • Condoms
  • Medical gloves
  • A blanket or towel
  • Handy wipes, or a washcloth
  • Dental dams
  • A dildo or two
  • A bullet or two
  • A traditional vibrator or two
  • An anal plug or two
  • Clamps and/or clothespins
  • Rope
  • A couple whips of varying types
  • A crop and/or cane
  • Anything else you know you like but aren’t comfortable using someone else’s

However, take care you ask your dominant first, if you’re connected. Mine laughed at me when I asked if I should have my own toy bag.

  1. February 2nd, 2011 at 08:47 | #1

    As always, you wrote a great post. You keep some neat stuff in your toy bag. Mine is just tossed in before I leave. πŸ™‚

  2. February 12th, 2011 at 05:11 | #2

    Never been to any event of this kind, but it’s a cool post about an even cooler concept. Hopefully one day I’ll have a need for my own toy bag.

  3. February 12th, 2011 at 10:02 | #3

    @ Kayla Hey, thanks. πŸ™‚ I intend to buy a bag, soon, and doubling up on a couple of our favorite toys, so that when we do finally go out into the public, all I have to do is grab the bag. Lol.

    @ Violet I haven’t been to an event or play party yet either! Soon, though. Very soon.

  4. Camryn
    May 15th, 2014 at 23:35 | #4

    This is really cool. I would also suggest menstrual pads, in case there’s rectal or vaginal bleeding. Things happen, and I know I’ve needed them.

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