Home > No Stupid (Kink) Questions > No Stupid (Kink) Questions: Episode 8 – But… but… It’s mine!

No Stupid (Kink) Questions: Episode 8 – But… but… It’s mine!

December 30th, 2010

NoStupidKinkQuestionsGandhi said that if you want to change the world, you have to be the change you want to see. To that end, Insatiable Desire brings you No Stupid (Kink) Questions, a series of questions asked by novice kinksters around the web. If you have a question for us, leave it in comments, or send it to rayne (at) insatiabledesire (dot) com with “NS(K)Q” in the subject.

Question 8:

I was talking with a friend about my interest in being a slave. And she said that if I become a slave, I have to turn my trust fund, and all the money I earn at the law firm, and the money I won in the lottery over to my owner. Is that true?



And no.

Now I’m even more confused!


On the real, though, it really depends on the type of relationship you have.

Me, I was more than happy to hand control of the finances over to M. I mean, why not? We’re married. All the money goes to the same place. And He’s better at keeping track of that kind of stuff.

Besides that, from our very first date, M has always been the type of guy who would rather me worry about having fun than how much money we have. Though it was obvious from the get go that He’s an alpha male, every time we’d finish an activity (still talking about our first date, here), He’d ask me what I wanted to do next. And then get irritated when I’d say, “Are you sure you can afford something else?” Course, I didn’t realize how much He made, at the time, so I figured, like all the other guys I knew, He, maybe, had $200 in his pocket.

Not all dominants are like that. Some don’t agree with M’s adamant opinion that a slave is more productive when he or she is happy. Regardless of the fact that this is true for all human beings, not just those of the submissive sort. Some fully believe that it doesn’t matter how the slave’s feeling. They’ll obey or suffer the consequences. And if that’s what you’re into, that’s great. Have fun. It’s not for us.

In any case, figure out what you’re comfortable with. Are you okay with handing over control to your purse strings? If not, that’s really okay. I can’t see anyone aside from the hopelessly naive being totally comfortable with handing over their money to someone they’ve just begun a relationship with.

And who knows? Maybe down the road, you’ll be able to trust your owner enough to do that. But in the meantime, don’t let anyone make you feel like you’re less than because you’re not comfortable with it. Trust isn’t always easy. And it certainly doesn’t come free.

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