Archive for November, 2010

Family doesn’t make you any less “alone”.

November 29th, 2010 2 comments

Me in Collins Park at sunset, by M.

Disclaimer: I’m not calling my friend out in this post.  The conversation got me thinking, though, and I wanted to write about it, so here it is.  Yeah… It’s another really long one.  And it’s chock full of epiphanies.  I guess the holidays find me pensive.

I was talking with a friend, to whom I tell all my most intimate secrets, and I was absolutely convinced she knew M’s and my familial situations.  But as we began discussing our holiday plans, it became painfully obvious she had no clue.  When she asked why M and I are so cut off from our family, I explained the situation to her as best I could, between fighting Nagas, Wildkin, and Owlbeasts.  She still didn’t get it, and asked how I could stand to be so alone.  Naturally, my immediate response was “I’m not alone.  I have M!”, but I thought about it a lot afterward.  I mean, it’s a good question.  Why are we so cut off? And why doesn’t it seem to bother us?

When it comes to family, M and I are pretty close to being without, if one excludes my father, our pets, and close online friends, with whom we’d spend much of our time if we lived closer to them, or had the time and money to travel there.  All of our grandparents are dead, except my grandfather.  There seems to be a feud in M’s family which has caused pretty much everyone to shun His mother, and her children, regardless of the fact that the kids had nothing to do with it, and, at least in M’s case, have no idea what it’s about.  And my extended family is filled with nut jobs and narcissists who are convinced it’s everyone else’s job to keep the family bond alive, and they shouldn’t have to make any effort whatsoever.  Read more…

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Melen’s Thanksgiving Thoughts

November 25th, 2010 4 comments

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday of the year. Even someone like me, who can be pessimistic at the best of times (tho I still claim I’m being realistic), has many things to be thankful for.

A few weeks ago we decided to get a pet. We were at our local Pet Smart to pick up food for the gerbils and birds, and one of the local shelters had a number of cats on site. We didn’t have much money left, so we bought what we needed and headed off to grab something to eat. While we were eating I was thinking about it. I’m definitely an “impulse buyer”, although I’d prefer to look at it more like an adoption in this case. It’s sort of crazy, this concept that you can buy and own another animal.

We hadn’t checked on how much taking a cat home would cost, so on a whim I decided we’d head back and check on how much it would be, with the thought that we’d come back in a couple of weeks and choose a new pet. When we got back to Pet Smart we found out that the adoption fee was 50% off, which dropped it to only $35. All the cats had all their shots and checkups, and were all healthy. In addition to that, they were giving coupons that covered the first big container of litter, and food for a week or more was included. We also found out there were a couple good plastic carriers people had donated. So all we really needed was a litter box. We still put it off, thinking we’d get a cat at the first of the year, when we could afford the pet deposit. Until a friend of ours ended up in the hospital, and none of her family members wanted to take in the cat she’d just rescued from the same shelter Pet Smart works with.

Read more…

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Happy Thanksgiving from M and Me

November 25th, 2010 Comments off

There’s something special about having a cat that I can’t quite put my finger on.  When I stretch out on the floor and snuggle with Cara, petting her, and teasing her with her “fishing pole” (read: a broken nylon measuring tape), I feel all warm and squishy in a way that human interaction can’t replicate.  I mean, here’s this fuzzy little creature who can only communicate with body language, and tone, and depends on me entirely for food, water, shelter and love.  So trusting, and content to take whatever I’ll give her.

The “new shiny” affect hasn’t quite warn off, yet, and we both still stop what we’re doing, quite frequently, throughout the day, to love on Cara, and spend time with her.  And ya know, I’m not sure that affect ever will wear off completely.  We’re both hopelessly devoted to those brilliant golden green eyes, and her desperate hunger for love and attention.  And as I think about my dynamic with our feline friend, I can’t help but consider how similar it is to my dynamic with M.

Just like Cara, I get pissy if M doesn’t play with me enough.  And just like Cara, I make a huge deal out of ignoring Him back, and entertaining myself.  Even though I have the ability to communicate openly, I often do most of my communicating with body language and tone.  While I do most of the cooking, I depend on Him entirely for food, water, shelter and love.  I trust Him completely, and am content to take whatever He’ll give me.  And he’s hopelessly devoted to my brilliant blue-gray eyes, and my desperate hunger for love and attention.

As I think about this, I’m laughing at myself for my aversion to the word “pet”, and the connotations it has.  And I realize I’m just dumb, because I am, without a doubt, M’s pet, among all the rest, and I love that it is that way.

There’s something to be said for stretching out on the couch, or at His feet, and feeling Him reach down to pet my head, or play with my hair.  Sitting next to Him on a leash.  Licking His hands or face to show my affection.

I’m such a lucky girl.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone, from both of us.  Hope yours is as amazing as I’m sure ours is going to be.

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In the interest of brilliance…

November 19th, 2010 Comments off

Today, I scrubbed the shower, toilet, kitchen floor, stove and got almost completely caught up on the dishes I didn’t do while we weren’t eating in.  That whole doing dishes while I cook thing? Yeah, it requires me actually cooking.

M’s been all sorts of stingy with my time.  To the point of not wanting me to spend time cooking so we can just relax together.  We’re getting close to having to knock that shit off and start living off the groceries we bought, but we also have to go to the meat market some day soon so we have more than spaghetti and macaroni and cheese to eat.  Though this shopping trip, in the interest of saving time, since we’re already going to be cooking this gigantic meal on Thursday (Jesus, I can’t believe there are only six days till Thanksgiving!), we bought sauce, instead of the fixins for sauce.

Speaking of Thanksgiving, this internet publication called Safeword Magazine snatched up my Orange Cranberry Sauce recipe, with my permission, of course, and included it in their November edition.  And look! They included my story in the side of the page! And a banner, and everything! Color me stoked. Read more…

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National Opt-Out Day: Boycotting the Body Scan in the Name of Privacy

November 17th, 2010 Comments off

It’s the day ordinary citizens stand up for their rights, stand up for liberty, and protest the federal government’s desire to virtually strip us naked or submit to an “enhanced pat down” that touches people’s breasts and genitals in an aggressive manner.  You should never have to explain to your children, “Remember that no stranger can touch or see your private area, unless it’s a government employee, then it’s OK.”

The goal of National Opt-Out Day is to send a message to our lawmakers that we demand change.  We have a right to privacy and buying a plane ticket should not mean that we’re guilty until proven innocent.  This day is needed because many people do not understand what they consent to when choosing to fly.


You, your family and friends traveling by air on Wednesday, November 24, 2010. Remember too, as the TSA says, “Everyday is opt-out day.”  That is, you can opt out any time you fly. Read more…

NS(K)Q: Q3 – Why isn’t it easy?

November 17th, 2010 1 comment

NoStupidKinkQuestionsGandhi said that if you want to change the world, you have to be the change you want to see. To that end, Insatiable Desire brings you No Stupid (Kink) Questions, a series of questions asked by novice kinksters around the web. If you have a question for us, leave it in comments, or send it to rayne (at) insatiabledesire (dot) com with “NS(K)Q” in the subject.

Question 3:

I enjoy being controlled, but submitting seems so hard! Why am I having so much trouble doing something I want to do?

It’s never easy giving up control.  That’s really all there is to it.  Read more…