Archive for June 10th, 2010

Master has a girlfriend!

June 10th, 2010 2 comments

Okay, not really.  Not yet, anyway.  But He’s got this lady friend sending Him erotica and practically throwing herself at Him.  And He’s still not sure she wants to fuck Him!!!

I know! I’m starting to think she’s going to have to trap Him in His cubicle and rip her clothes off for Him to see it.  Omigosh, now I’m all sorts of wet just imagining that.

What’s even better is the last piece of erotica was about her submissive fantasy.  And while she knows I defer to His wishes, I’m not sure she knows to what extent.  We’ve never talked about it, anyway.

I know!

She’s this adorable forty-something that we both chit-chat with.  She’s been trying to get us to go out with her, but M’s always too busy or too tired or too something. Read more…

Categories: Rayne Tags:

Oh, You noticed that?

June 10th, 2010 2 comments

He thinks of me much more than I realize. And He sees a lot more of my emotional turmoil than I give Him credit for.

Last night we were discussing O/p theology while showering. It had spun off of an  entry I was trying to puzzle out for ID, about active ownership, whether it was a phase, a personality flaw or something I was doomed/destined to requite. In fleshing this out, we discussed teh various nuclear meltdowns I suffered over the past year, all tied in one way or another from my perceived abandonment of the O/p by Him. Out of the blue He hit me with this gem that made me stop and reasses Him on a whole new level:

“You freak out because you assume that each time I get lazy or have to withdraw from the O/p I’m never coming back to it.”

I never thought He was interested in discovering the whats and whys  regarding my breakdowns. He’s normally a results-orientated kinda guy, less concerned with why I’m doing something and more concerned that I am doing it and in His parameters.  So when He saw right through me like that, in a manner that I hadn’t even addressed yet, (hell, I hadn’t even fully formed the idea that I was afraid of abandonment until maybe a month ago) totally brought me up short.

Now I find myself wondering what else He’s grokked on me without letting me know. How far ahead of me is He? And a little bit of me wonders if He doesn’t laugh at me when I running around chasing my tail, totally freaked out and clueless as to why, and He knows exactly what my problem is and enjoys watching me lose a year or two of my life panicking over the sky falling in. But an Owner would never do such a thing, would they? *snickers*

Oddly enough, I find this kinda comforting. It’s nice to know He isn’t as oblivious to my inner workings as I initially believed. There was just no reason for Him to let me on that He isn’t clueless. I believe it probably gives Him an edge in keeping me in place when I get uppity.

I haz a warm fuzzy, because He never stops leaving me surprised and at least one step behind.

Categories: Sojourners Tags: