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What I meant, the other day, by “disappointed”…

May 25th, 2010

I’m not even sure where to begin.

I keep having to remind myself that I didn’t originally get into blogging (or reviewing) to make friends.

People who generally don’t give two shits about me (Had, in fact, removed me from their blogrolls and/or unfollowed me on twitter long before the EF drama.  I told you I pay attention.  I’m just shy.  And it’s not like you went out of your way to talk to me, either.) are all up in my Kool-Aid because I’m talking about something high on the drama meter.  And at first, I was all, “Whoa! I might get to be part of the sex-blogging-cool-kids-club after all!” But now I’m sort of like, “Whoa… I’m not sure the cool-kids are the cool-kids, after all.”  And I’m trying to remember why I was so hell-bent on fitting in.

I mean, yeah, sometimes it bothers me that I’m not the first person people run to when they have exciting news.  I get bummed out that I don’t have a shit-ton of friends like so many bloggers seem to.  I get fidgety over the fact that either I suck so much no one wants to approach me, or I’ve done such a good job of fostering this unapproachable front that people are scared to approach me. 

But it bothers me more that a handful of people only come running when drama’s banging on my door.  And rarely in defense of me.  And I’m starting to remember why I liked that I wasn’t part of the cool-kids club.

I posted about being confused about Eden, not because I thought anyone cared where I stood (I didn’t.), but because I wasn’t sure there was a level head among the lot.  My owner included.  And all sides need someone with a level head to plot the course.  It’s the only way to end the battle.

Unless, of course, the desired result isn’t an end to the battle, but rather total annihilation.  In that case, by all means, throw yourself onto the battlefield, no holds barred, and expend your energy destroying each other.  I’ll sit back and watch, thanks.  But I’ve no quarrel with any of you.  Try not to get your carnage on me.

And there’s the rub.  Not only do I have people tripping over themselves to win me over to their side, but they’re doing it by bludgeoning me with their carnage under the guise of looking out for my best interests, all the while screaming, “If you’re not with us, you’re against us!” Because it can’t possibly be that this isn’t war, it’s the internet.

The comments around the “reviewing community” are hilarious, and remind me a bit of the song Sarah Jessica Parker sings in the beginning of Hocus Pocus.  “Come little children I’ll take thee away to a land of enchantment.” or rather, “Come, children! All are welcome to this little community of ours.  But here is what we think, and this is what you must think, or else we will talk about you behind your back and publicly shun you.”

Well, fuck you too, very much.

And before I get the whiny “We’re not like that!” comments, just look at some of the shit you’re spewing.  Calling those of us who have chosen to stay sheep, and unethical, and making it clear we’re a bunch of idiots, the lot of us, and…

While I’ll be the first to say that I think Eden could have handled this and other situations better, I’ll also come right out and say “the community” could have handled it better, as well.  And I’m really not altogether sure I want to be part of a community that will harass and turn on me because I don’t do things their way.

Y’all can’t have it both ways.  Either everyone’s entitled to their own opinions, and the right to do what they feel is best for them, or they’re only entitled to your opinions and your way.  And if it’s the latter, well… Again, I’ll say, fuck you too, very much.

P.S. I swear I’m gonna write a BDSM post soon.  Maybe even erotica.  I still love you! Hang tight!

P.S.S. I know that I do have friends.  Really good ones who know I’m a psycho and do their best to pat my quirks long enough for me to be able to have a decent conversation.  You know who you are, and I probably didn’t have say this, but I didn’t mean to make it sound like I didn’t have any friends.  You’re probably all rolling your eyes in unison.  And I love you for it.

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  1. May 25th, 2010 at 15:17 | #1

    You know I agree with this post 100%. And you know you’ll get comments saying they never said this or that, but you know the truth and that’s all that matters. You don’t need that negative drama bullshit. They *are* like that and I’m sick of it, too. Stay true to yourself and fuck everyone else.

    I <3 you. 🙂

  2. May 25th, 2010 at 15:19 | #2

    @Kristi It’s funniest when they don’t comment at all. Just confirms what I already think. Lol.

    I <3 you, too! xoxo

  3. May 25th, 2010 at 15:25 | #3

    Meh, like I’ve said to everyone else that’s choosing to stay, while I may not agree with the decision personally, what’s right for you isn’t necessarily what’s right for me. I’ll be the first to say it’s not the decision I would make, but I’m also not going to go condemning people that do make it.

    And I hope you know that I respect you as a blogger. I don’t always (or often!) agree with your views on stuff, but I let you know that, too! 🙂

  4. alwaysHistora
    May 25th, 2010 at 15:49 | #4

    You are so righteous, woman. You’ve nailed it on the head. Kinda what we talked about earlier, right?

    And btw, you were right. I *was* rolling my eyes. How did you know?

  5. May 25th, 2010 at 15:55 | #5

    @Britni TheVadgeWig

    So, calling them unethical on Twitter is not condemning them? Or are your definitions of those words different than mine? Since anonymous’s comment about this was cast aside (kinda rightfully so), they still made a good point. And I’m not anonymous, so what is it Britni? Condemn them on Twitter but kiss their ass on their blogs?

  6. Laurel
    May 25th, 2010 at 16:54 | #6

    As it is my policy to do my very best to say nothing of any kind regarding this particular topic, I will just smile and say that you are and always have been one of my favorite bloggers/reviewers/people. 🙂

  7. May 26th, 2010 at 00:03 | #7

    I understand the drama brings a flock of people running to your blog. My hits increased from 13 a day to over 400 for just one post. It’s a bit sad that everyone came out of the woodwork to either support or hate, but never noticed before. Which is fine with me, as I’ve never really cared about exposure to begin with.

    I just want to clear any confusion with my blogs and images about No EdenFallacy Sheep, that it wasn’t directed at any reviewers, so I hope that you did not feel I was calling you or anyone else such. What I meant was that Fred seemed to think everyone was a sheep who he could get anything past. I hope that makes sense. I’m full of myself so I worry that someone has taken something the wrong way.

    Seriously the link farming issue in itself wasn’t what bothered me, but the way it was handled which is what fueled the way the community handled it.

    With that said, continue to be awesome. I’ll make an attempt to talk to you more as I’ve always thought you were awesome. I just suck at making contact.

  8. May 26th, 2010 at 12:49 | #8

    Personally speaking, do what makes you happy. Im a reviewer at Eden too (Ill share my name if you ask for it) but frankly speaking they have neither impressed or pissed me off. I dont care enough to get involved in the drama and mud slinging. I do my reviews, I have fun with the toys. I dont like my blog, I dont care about traffic and I could care less what anyone else thinks about Eden, their practices and policies.

    So long as I can review toys, have a good time and enjoy a few freebies.. Screw everyone else.
    .-= Theresa´s last blog ..Self =-.

  9. dweaver999
    May 26th, 2010 at 12:51 | #9

    Rayne,

    What? You had drama and I missed it? I’m so bummed (not).

    Seriously, is it just me, or does this electronic medium tend to breed intensity in feelings, emotions and reactions in people that would otherwise behave rationally? No one’s ever going to be perfectly in line with another person. We all do thikngs someone else doesn’t like. That doesn’t mean, however, that they are the epitome of evil in the world. It just means they’re different. Hell, I get mad at myself at times, so even if the world were filled with a bunch of me, I still wouldn’t get along with them all the time.

    Dave

  10. May 26th, 2010 at 15:06 | #10

    I never know the best way to do this, since our comments thing doesn’t nest (and it’s the only one we could find that looked good with this template), so I’m gonna just do it all in one comment. If it’ll fit. Here goes:

    @Britni TheVadgeWig Well, thank you. I appreciate that.

    @alwaysHistora Aww thanks. And yeah, exactly like we were talking about.

    @Laurel Aww thanks. I try. You’re one of my favorites, too.

    @Juliettia Meh… It’s not just your post or banner. People have called us a flock and said we blindly follow the herd in comments, Formspring questions, email… When one makes sweeping generalizations like that, others tend to think they mean everyone who falls under that heading, not just the few they have a problem with.

    Regardless, I didn’t take offense to your post. It was mostly aimed at Fred, and not at all aimed at me, so whatevs, man.

    And thanks. 🙂

    @Theresa Yeah… that’s about where I am, too. And you’re more than welcome to keep your EF name to yourself. 🙂

    @dweaver999 Yeah, I dunno what’s up with that.

  11. May 27th, 2010 at 15:25 | #11

    @Kristi When did I ever personally condemn anyone on Twitter? Did I say that in my eyes, supporting a company I find unethical brings into question (at least in my mind) your ethics? Absolutely. Did I condemn Rayne, let alone anyone, on Twitter? Absolutely not.

    And I’m not kissing anyone’s ass on their blog. I think that Rayne can tell you as well anyone that I don’t always leave positive comments here, and I have no problem expressing my disagreement.

  12. May 27th, 2010 at 16:02 | #12

    @Britni TheVadgeWig Well, since M’s and my ethics are in question, they go a little something like this: There is no one waiting to bail us out of financial trouble. We have to climb out on our own. The only thing anyone is doing is increasing our bills. So we need the commission money we get from only Eden Fantasys to get by.

    Last I checked, wanting to survive wasn’t unethical.

  13. May 27th, 2010 at 16:57 | #13

    @rayne And trust me, I understand that completely. I told Carrie Ann the same thing. I GET that people need the money, and that’s why it’s not on me to condemn anyone that chooses to continue to work with EF. It’s not exactly the easiest time for anyone, right now.

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