I’m not even sure where to begin.

I keep having to remind myself that I didn’t originally get into blogging (or reviewing) to make friends.

People who generally don’t give two shits about me (Had, in fact, removed me from their blogrolls and/or unfollowed me on twitter long before the EF drama.  I told you I pay attention.  I’m just shy.  And it’s not like you went out of your way to talk to me, either.) are all up in my Kool-Aid because I’m talking about something high on the drama meter.  And at first, I was all, “Whoa! I might get to be part of the sex-blogging-cool-kids-club after all!” But now I’m sort of like, “Whoa… I’m not sure the cool-kids are the cool-kids, after all.”  And I’m trying to remember why I was so hell-bent on fitting in.

I mean, yeah, sometimes it bothers me that I’m not the first person people run to when they have exciting news.  I get bummed out that I don’t have a shit-ton of friends like so many bloggers seem to.  I get fidgety over the fact that either I suck so much no one wants to approach me, or I’ve done such a good job of fostering this unapproachable front that people are scared to approach me. 

But it bothers me more that a handful of people only come running when drama’s banging on my door.  And rarely in defense of me.  And I’m starting to remember why I liked that I wasn’t part of the cool-kids club.

I posted about being confused about Eden, not because I thought anyone cared where I stood (I didn’t.), but because I wasn’t sure there was a level head among the lot.  My owner included.  And all sides need someone with a level head to plot the course.  It’s the only way to end the battle.

Unless, of course, the desired result isn’t an end to the battle, but rather total annihilation.  In that case, by all means, throw yourself onto the battlefield, no holds barred, and expend your energy destroying each other.  I’ll sit back and watch, thanks.  But I’ve no quarrel with any of you.  Try not to get your carnage on me.

And there’s the rub.  Not only do I have people tripping over themselves to win me over to their side, but they’re doing it by bludgeoning me with their carnage under the guise of looking out for my best interests, all the while screaming, “If you’re not with us, you’re against us!” Because it can’t possibly be that this isn’t war, it’s the internet.

The comments around the “reviewing community” are hilarious, and remind me a bit of the song Sarah Jessica Parker sings in the beginning of Hocus Pocus.  “Come little children I’ll take thee away to a land of enchantment.” or rather, “Come, children! All are welcome to this little community of ours.  But here is what we think, and this is what you must think, or else we will talk about you behind your back and publicly shun you.”

Well, fuck you too, very much.

And before I get the whiny “We’re not like that!” comments, just look at some of the shit you’re spewing.  Calling those of us who have chosen to stay sheep, and unethical, and making it clear we’re a bunch of idiots, the lot of us, and…

While I’ll be the first to say that I think Eden could have handled this and other situations better, I’ll also come right out and say “the community” could have handled it better, as well.  And I’m really not altogether sure I want to be part of a community that will harass and turn on me because I don’t do things their way.

Y’all can’t have it both ways.  Either everyone’s entitled to their own opinions, and the right to do what they feel is best for them, or they’re only entitled to your opinions and your way.  And if it’s the latter, well… Again, I’ll say, fuck you too, very much.

P.S. I swear I’m gonna write a BDSM post soon.  Maybe even erotica.  I still love you! Hang tight!

P.S.S. I know that I do have friends.  Really good ones who know I’m a psycho and do their best to pat my quirks long enough for me to be able to have a decent conversation.  You know who you are, and I probably didn’t have say this, but I didn’t mean to make it sound like I didn’t have any friends.  You’re probably all rolling your eyes in unison.  And I love you for it.