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Archive for April, 2010

Another bullet list

April 30th, 2010 1 comment

In trying to revamp my positive mental process, i’m compiling a few lists for my Owner. Those of you playing the home game will learn a few things about Him! 🙂

10 Things i will always remember about N:

  1. The way He rubbed my shoulder with His thumb and stroked my hair while i waited to be taken back to the pre-op room for my gallbladder removal surgery. i was so nervous, so scared, i felt miserable. The little acts He did in that packed waiting room brought me back to center and helped me hold it together until they gave me the drugs that sent me off to lala land.
  2. When He leaned up against me while i was in labor with our firstborn and cried with me. i was in agony and couldn’t take anymore, and He was so scared, honestly afraid for my life. He shared His fear with me, showed His deep love for me, was vulnerable for me. He cried with me, holding me, and i found a little more strength and stamina to make it past the pain long enough to birth our son.
  3. He brought my cat to visit me after His shift ended while i was locked in the loony bin for a week. He made sure to tell me He missed me and that He wasn’t going to leave me while i was away.
  4. How He lectured me after i was put on short-term bedrest with our third son. i’d never felt someone loved me and wanted me enough to ensure i took great care of myself.
  5. How patient He is with me when He’s trying to teach me to do some kind of manual labor involving vehicles or equipment. The fact that He is so kind and patient with me makes learning the task possible. i’m terrified of large equipment, yet i know how to drive our tractor. All because of Him. 🙂
  6. How He took the time to hug me and whisper that i looked beautiful the day of our wedding as i was 7 months pregnant and unbelievably swollen because of the brutal heat. i had just wanted to cry and cancel the wedding, feeling like a beached whale, and He brought me close to His chest, so stunning in His tux, telling me that i was so beautiful and He was a lucky man to have met me.
  7. The fact that He lets me keep my superstitious NewAge religion, even though He believes that all religions are bunk.
  8. His persistence and adamant refusal to let my occasional crazy dismantle our relationship.
  9. How obvious it is that He loves our children.
  10. His dedication to providing the best He can for His family.

Last one, i promise: Read more…

Categories: Sojourners Tags:

Rights and Responsibilities

April 29th, 2010 3 comments

This is actually in response to a post made by rayne named On Productivity, Insanity and Grilled Cheese Sandwiches. For everything to be in context, it might be a good idea to give her post a quick read, if you haven’t already. Part of this post is a response directed at rayne, and some are general comments.

Limits and expectations are things that should be worked out prior to a collaring. Once someone has made a commitment, in my mind that commitment should be kept.

I know with rayne and I there was a good month (and more, this after our “courting” period) where I bothered her daily to make sure she understood what she was agreeing to. This was in person, not over the net or phone, and rayne was well aware of what she was agreeing to prior to being collared.

This is a matter of trust. There are always a lot of discussions about slaves being able to trust their Masters. Dominant men (and women) don’t corner the market on crazy. There are slaves every bit as dangerous, and unbalanced, as these crazy Masters.

Read more…

Categories: Blogs, Melen Tags:

Restless Insecurity

April 29th, 2010 2 comments

Things have been going okay here. No sudden meltdowns on my end, no baffling withdrawals on His. i’m still trying to feel around in my head, trying to sort out all the mixed signals i’m getting from my own brain. Emotional eating has resurfaced, but i haven’t been able to identify why. This is hugely frustrating to me. If i can’t even identify any anxiety or resentment, i can’t neutralize it and end the emotional eating.

i know something in my head is off. Everything seems slightly off-kilter now. i used to have a grand ol’ time pointing out cute chicks for Him to ogle. Now, i see Him appraise one and i squelch a sudden urge to drag her by her hair to the parking lot and rearrange her face, then come in and claw my name on His forehead so He can’t forget who He is with.  i’m not generally one for jealously and violent insecurity. Hell, i’ve shared partners in the past without much in the way of issues. So what is it now, that makes me getting all tetchy and anxious when He appreciates other girls? Why can’t i appreciate what i have with Him? Part of me thinks it’s territorial. i’ve struggled long and hard to find comfort and peace at His feet, and i don’t want to have to give it up or even share it with some new plaything. Which is darkly hilarious, given my penchant for threesomes and the fading hope of finding a sister for me. Another part of my rage regarding Him seeing other girls is the fact that i often don’t feel fully nourished or cared for at the moment, a hazard of the job of living with Him. It would infuriate me to be left at home, hungry for Him and lonely beyond belief, thinking of Him charming another girl, touching her like He used to touch me… but even more than the infuriating, i would be crushed. Possibly beyond much repair.

Read more…

Categories: Sojourners Tags: No tags for this post.

On Productivity, Insanity and Grilled Cheese Sandwiches

April 29th, 2010 3 comments

Yesterday was actually rather productive.  I updated our toy box (though I think I may still be missing some things), got a post sent out to Carrie for Eden Cafe, pitched my idea for my very own personal store through Eden Fantasys, fiddled with our list of affiliates (though I’ll be fiddling with it more when I get a chance) cause some of the banners disappeared, ordered the toys M and I provided for my birthday giveaway, ordered some stuff for us…

I’ve got lotion on the way, and new organic bath soap, and new lube, and new toy cleaner from Eden Fantasys.  And a new glass dildo.  And there’s supposed to be some neat new BDSM toys on the way from SexToy.com soon.

I’m behind on email notifications, so I’ll probably spend some time doing that today between writing reviews to post tomorrow.  I alphabetized my swap list and our toy box this morning because I’m neurotic.

It feels good to be productive again, rather than sitting here staring at the computer, doing mostly nothing.  Which is what I’ve been doing for the past few months.  I mean, granted, we’ve got a lot on our plate right now, but staring off into space doesn’t help that.  Mostly it just adds fuel to the fire.  Read more…

Categories: Rayne Tags:

Product Review: Glass Dreams Smooth Waves by Doc Johnson

April 29th, 2010 3 comments

32258-1Ooo, what’s that?

Okay, seriously? What’s up with these eight inch toys having foot long names? This is the Glass Dreams Smooth Waves from Doc Johnson.  And the design is pretty spectacular.  Especially for a former marble collector like me.

What’d it come in?

It comes in a clear plastic box with blue lettering and white designs around the outside.  The dildo itself is nestled inside molded clear plastic for protection.

How’s it made?

So if you played marbles when you were a kid, or just collected marbles like me, you’ll remember the swirly colors inside those tiny glass balls.  Turning the glass round and round, holding it up to the light, trying to follow the path of the swirls inside.

I’ve spent a lot of time doing that with this toy.  Read more…

Categories: Insertables Tags:

e[lust] #12

April 28th, 2010 Comments off


Photo courtesy of Emmy

Welcome to e[lust] – Your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you’re going to find it here. Want to be included in e[lust] #13? Start with the rules, check out the schedule in the site’s sidebar and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Week’s Top Three Posts ~

FleshHer mind awash with the thought of fucking. The smell of his scent stirring her cunt, her skin alive and encased by lust.

Putting energy inPlay is energising, at its best; so when both of you are tired, sex or spanking can be a way to get away from it all, rejuvenate your emotional connection and stimulate body and brain with a flood of hormones and endorphines.

A Rude AwakeningIn the depths of the night, I half wake to the feel of her cool skin wrapping itself around my back. Soft breasts pushing against my ribs and her groin moulding itself to my buttocks.

~ e[lust] Editress ~

Shouldn’tIt always starts off so inconspicuously. Innocent, like the sort of teasing that might occur now and then between any other pair of friends who share a hint of attraction to each other.

~ Featured Post (Lilly’s Pick) ~

ComfortShe’s so strong and yet, when we lie down together, she makes herself small and vulnerable for me. ”Hold me” she says in a tiny voice

See also: Pleasurists #73 and #74 for all your sex toy review needs.

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy! Read more…

Categories: Rayne Tags: