i’ll set the scene for everyone: two exhausted parents, with way too much stuff to do and not enough time to do it, finally convince someone to take the kids for a night. This is on par with the planets aligning in a straight line.  Whatever do you think they will do whilst the children are away?

I can assure you of this: it ain’t sleeping.

That’s right, I conned sweet-talked my dad into taking all three of the anklebiters for a night so The Man and i could finally relate to each other on a plane different than Dad and Mom. When i got back from dropping them off, i was elated and anxious, if i’d had a tail i would have been wagging it so hard it would have hit me in the nose.  i’d been asking for a beating like no other…one that would leaving me snuffling and slumped, twitching and walking like an old grandma for a few days. It’s been a long time since a beating like that. i’d been craving one for quite some time and was hoping that this could be my chance to relish getting the snot whomped outta me.

We puttered in the garage, cutting paddles out and sanding them down, laughing and enjoying the camaraderie.  Went inside, He tells me to get the razor: it was time to ‘shear the sheep’ as i so delicately put it.  So He shaves me, and oh, it is such a trust building activity, to let Him get near my nether-parts with a sharp vibrating blade, without trembling in fear or squirming to close my legs from the detached appraising look He has when judging if the job is done. They both are so… invading, so intimate. Remember that word, kids: we will be revisiting it. Anyway, i bounce off to the shower and shave the rest of me, towel off, and start arranging myself into the corset and stocking He picked out. Suddenly we realize that it’s quite late for me to be making a delish supper, so i put on a long skirt, did up my make-up and off to town we went, for supper and drinks.

While i was putting on my face, He came in behind and started to maul me. Lately He’s been in a vicious mood in regards to my poor poor ass…each and every time it presents itself as a likely target, there’s N, pinching and smacking me to exasperation. It’s become such an accustomed thing that i get twitchy and start to press my ass against flat surfaces if He’s wandering behind me.  So when He slid behind me in the bathroom and placed His hands on my ass-cheeks, i tensed and frowned, waiting for the pain, waiting for the assault. Instead, to my flabbergasted surprise, He caressed me gently, rubbing, sliding His hands up and down my hips, inside my shirt to rub and massage my tits, kissing my neck and nibbling on my ear. i would have fallen in shock if He hadn’t been holding me against Him. i could see Him smirking against the flesh of my neck as my mouth hung open with pleasant shock. After nearly a month of ass-focused abuse, this sudden gentleness was so strong and powerful that i was at a loss. Then He strolls away, leaving me witless and trying desperately to remember what exactly it was i was doing in the bathroom anyhow.

We got to town, had a very nice supper complete with chick-watching, discussed going for dessert, but the line was much too long so we headed back home. Once home, i changed into the corset He loves and pranced around the house in a head-stall, collar, corset and stocking, perched on 3.5 inch heels. Played a round of cards that ended with me spanking Him severely  (in points, that is lol). Now part way through this round of cards, He had me go lay in the chair and spread my legs. i immediately blushed and looked down as i did so. Being so exposed…it’s horrible for me. To my absolute shock, He crouched down and proceeded to go down on me.

Cunnilingus in His house is a rare thing. Fine with me, because i don’t find it so appealing. i love to go down on a woman, but to have it done to me, makes me all anxious and shuddery. i worry about being clean. i worry about whether it takes too long for me to come. i worry about being so exposed, so vulnerable, so intimate with another human being. i worry about all those things being horribly abused, like they were 16 years ago.

This time, this time was different. Instead of worrying about all those things, i closed my eyes tight and just focused on Him. What His fingers were doing, what His tongue was doing, what His teeth were doing. This time, i could feel pleasure building in me, so fast, so strong. i could ride the waves as they rocked up and down my spine. He nibbled and tugged, bit and sucked, petted and thrust, and i knew that this time, for the first time in years, i was going to come from a man going down on me. i thought i was going to cry when i begged to come. He growled at me “You better” and i screamed as it rushed through me, He bit my lips and bit my clit and licked and i was ready to just curl up and be done with anything but a very deep nap. He had other plans and stroked me until the rebellion in my pussy rose again, dragging out painful mini-orgasms and making me beg Him to stop.

Finally, He did. And we returned to our card game, which i firmly accused Him of trying to cheat by distracting me.

i know it is silly for property to have intimacy issues. i mean, ffs, i bore Him three kids, He was right there in the room holding my hand and helping me push, He saw me pee on the nurse during the final moments…but i can’t handle the thought of Him seeing me spread-legged and exposed? About the worst thing He can do to me is sit on the couch and say “Masturbate for My pleasure”. When i hear those words, i fervently hope the world will swallow me whole. i can tell Him my greatest fears, let Him beat me black and blue…but drag my feet and shake with anxiety when He tells me to spread my legs so He can play with His toy (me).

i never said i made sense. i am just damned glad that i was able to let go of my neuroses long enough to truly feel the pleasure He was so hell-bent on giving me.

Thank You, Master.