Archive for March 22nd, 2010

Never say never

March 22nd, 2010 Comments off

I say never a lot.  I probably shouldn’t.  It seems recently that every never I say falls by the wayside in short order.  Honestly, I should know better.  My life is full of things I said I’d never do or have at some point in time; roommates, credit cards, less than two cats.  As much as saying never is a bad idea in my vanilla world, it makes so much less sense in the world of D/s.

I’ve been interested in BDSM since before I was an adult.  From my earliest memories of reading True Crime magazines in the newsstand while delivering papers at the age of 13, I’ve been at least reading about BDSM and D/s as both fiction and fact.  In all that reading, there’s been one theme that occurs again and again; the “I didn’t think I’d like it but I do,” theme.  Whether it’s the dubious girlfriend who discovers after trying it at her boy friend’s insistence that she really does like this bondage stuff or the (admittedly) over used erotic fiction plot of the captive whom comes to want to slavery she’s been thrust into (can you say Gor?).  No matter where you turn, it seems to be acknowledged that one can’t know whether one will like a kink until one tries it out.

“I would never actually do any of that stuff.”  That was my first never.  Coming, as I did, from a home where dad did, in fact, abuse mom, I suppose that was to be expected.  It also lasted the longest, three decades or more.  That ended in 2007 when I experienced sex with a submissive lover and discovered that I not only enjoyed reading about BDSM, I enjoyed doing it; specifically, torturing her nipples and spanking her with my belt.  I backed away from dominating her outside of bed, however.  Read more…

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