Archive for March 2nd, 2010

Oh! And it’s March again! That means…

March 2nd, 2010 2 comments

…y’all get to ask me questions.   Last year, only Carrie asked me questions.  Year before that, it was just Kaya I think.

This year, I’ve got tricks up my sleeve!

So… Y’all saw me mention the other day, right? Well… you see… you can ask questions anonymously there.  I figure that’s just perfect for you guys since so many of you like to stay out of the spot light.  I figure you can post questions here, in comments, or over on (Just click that link!).  Put at the end of the question “MQM” and I’ll answer it here so you don’t even have to follow me on

Matter of fact, if, once March is over, you put IDR at the end of anonymous questions on, I’ll answer the question here then, too!

How awesome am I? I know.  I love me, too. =D

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FetLife makes me tired.

March 2nd, 2010 4 comments

So today, I logged onto FetLife looking for a topic.  And the first thread I found is filled with people only posting to make fun of the original poster.

As soon as I read the original post, I cringed at what I knew I’d find, but being the masochist I am, I read the comments anyway.  Of course, my fellow FetLifers didn’t let me down.  And when the OP expressed her surprise at only getting flaming and snark, true to form, they showered her with more flaming and snark.

I shook my head and told myself the OP did it to herself, with the tone and wording she used in a group completely overrun by the “slavey elite”, and moved on to another thread.  To find, once again, the majority of the posters only posting to make fun of the OP.

Once upon a time, the “slavey elite” were meek and mild and bowed and scraped… And they made you want to vomit, but secretly you wished you could be as well-behaved as them.  Now the “slavey elite” are the ones who shoot their mouths off and belittle the meek, mild, groveling slave and don’t even have the decency to cover their mouths with their napkins when they snigger at people who don’t do it their way.

But turnabout’s fair play, I suppose, because the previous slavey elite didn’t just snigger.  They all out guffawed while looking down their snooty little noses.

It’s funny being labeled a one-true-wayist simply because I have the gall to express a different way of doing things.  I’ll admit my background stories sometimes sound like preaching.  But really, they’re just me telling you (“you” meaning whoever’s reading) where our philosophy comes from.  It’s not me telling you you should be doing it our way, too.  Heaven knows, our way just barely works for us.  I can’t imagine people who aren’t us making it work for them.

If you complain in any of these groups, you’re told to go somewhere else.  To find a group “more like you”.  And I chuckle every time I see it.

How hard have we worked to desegregate humans? How long have we toiled at integration and acceptance and tolerance? And while we in the BDSM community are screaming at the tops of our lungs to society as a whole, “Stop calling us crazy! We are not abnormal! We are human, too! Accept us!”, within our own community, we are pushing each other away.  Walling ourselves off.  Turning our nose up at “different” and “abnormal”.

It makes me tired.  And sad.

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