Archive for February 26th, 2010

Hi! I’m a bad slave. Wanna know why?

February 26th, 2010 5 comments

A recent post on FetLife was asking which of the various reasons listed by the poster were applicable to acts of direct, intentional disobedience.  The Master asking the question is one that i really respect and find absolutely fascinating, so i’ve been following the thread for sometime. Of course, in true tora fashion, i answered it too, because if there’s anything i love, it’s listening to myself talk (or type, as it were).

i admitted that there have been times where hey, i’m just not perfect. *shocked gasp* i’m human property, emphasis on human. i make mistakes, i hold myself high in value, i often have thought processes contrary to His goals. Shit happens. i was honest about it, explained that while i do love, adore and live to serve Him, i still have (too much of) a mind of my own and a tongue that gets away from me. Occasionally, knowing He would be pleased is just not quite enough to get me through it.

It’s not like i routinely tell Him “Fuck off and get your own drink” or “How about i rape your ass instead, dickwad!” i respect Him. i honor Him. He is above all others in my world. That is NOT enough to make me magically stop thinking about how i feel, what i want, or how pissed i’ll get when He’s laying on the couch watching Mythbusters while i’m cleaning the kitchen and making him lunch for the next day, and His voice wafts out into the kitchen – “Make me a drink!” Yes, because i am so obviously just farting around in the kitchen, indulging my mini bubble bath fantasies and have nothing better to do.

Heh. Oops.

Anyway. The point of that was to say i am generally an obedient cunt. i do my damnedest to obey, but that doesn’t stop the imperfection that is a human from bleeding through every so often.

Also adding to my problem is that i’m dumb enough to need to keep making sure that the walls and door of my “cage” are secure and can withstand me. If i start to feel like i might actually have a say in the matter, i’ll go running full tilt to the nearest electrified fence and grab that fucker. i have got to know that i’m his slave, i am lower, i do NOT have any guaranteed say in how things are done. This, too, makes me a “horrible” slave. shrug It’s not a case of continuous power struggles. The longer we’ve been doing the O/p thing, the less often i rise up. Oddly enough, even though they are fewer and farther apart, the struggles themselves are more intense, grittier and nastier.

The giving up of one’s self is rarely a pleasant and easy process.

i know that one of His goals in owning me is a lessening of my reactive personality and an emphasis on my subservient (to Him) side. We are relatively new to this O/p thing, we’ve got time.  i’m just along for the ride, lol.

i was disappointed at most of the reactions to the question. The common theme was “What?! i never! Real slaves don’t disobey!! We all lounge about anxiously awaiting to please our masters’ every whim!!1!1″

Gawd, if we have to put an act on to underline our twoo slaviness in a forum of online personas that we will most likely never meet, what the hell? Is there nowhere a slave can open up and admit they fuck up from time to time? i have a hard time believing i am the only slave that occasionally falters!

So, what do you have to add? Are you perfect? Do you have your moments of asshattery? Tell us how you approach the concept of disobedience! Is perfection an attainable goal?Or is my Owner really cursed with owning me, as some people have implied?

(i’ve mentioned the curse of owning me to Him – He laughs and says i’m the best curse He’s come across so far.)

Categories: Uncategorized Tags:

Product Review: Ella by LELO

February 26th, 2010 2 comments

41kIXUR0gNL._SS500_Ooo, what’s that?

I did it.  I caved.  I couldn’t handle not knowing whether or not LELO was all it’s cracked up to be.  So I decided to start with Ella, the double ended dildo.  Isn’t she lovely?

What’d it come in?

A beautiful black cardboard box.  Inside you’ll find Ella, a satin bag to store her in and a user manual.

How’s it made?

Ella is seven inches of the most buttery silicone I’ve ever encountered.  She’s one and a quarter inches at her widest point.  Mine’s black, but she comes in white and rose as well.  Read more…

Categories: Insertables Tags:

Product Review: Snugglepuss by Vibratex

February 26th, 2010 Comments off

Ooo, what’s that?

Isn’t it funny looking? Cin has one, too, and it just looked like so much fun.  It’s the Snugglepuss by Vibratex.

How’s it made?

The Snugglepuss is hinged pink plastic encased in a pink elastomer sleeve.  It’s phthalates and latex free and hypoallergenic.  It’s about four inches long and an inch and a quarter at its widest point.

It’s shaped sort of like a “U”, with one side having a sort of butterfly on it with nubs between the wings, and the other being shaped sort of like a big toe (Yes, I realize how gross that visual is.  I can’t help it! That’s what it looks like!) with nubs all over it as well.

The side with the butterfly comes off to reveal the batter compartment, which, if I’m to be honest, I was rather disappointed with.  First, the sleeve is excruciatingly difficult to remove without tearing.  I managed, but I have a tendency to treat my sex toys like the slightest wrong touch will break them.  Second, once I got the sleeve off, the battery cap just sort of popped off in my hands.  It’s a teeny-tiny square of plastic with no real clasp to speak of.  Read more…

Product Review: Athena Waterproof Mini-Massager by The Berman Center

February 26th, 2010 Comments off

Ooo, what’s that?

The style is known as a pocket-rocket.  The product is Athena Waterproof Mini-Massager by The Berman Center.

What’d it come in?

That purple cardboard box in the picture, there.  It comes with a instructions, a purple mesh drawstring bag to store the toy and four different heads.

How’s it made?

The body is made up mostly of transparent purple ABS plastic.  It’s four inches long and an inch wide.  The top has four metal contact points which, you can see by looking through the toy, don’t touch the motor in any way.  Read more…

Product Review: Vibrating Leo by Vixen Creations

February 26th, 2010 Comments off

Ooo, what’s that?

I’m sure you’ve seen this thing on other sites.  Probably the glitter version, since it seems to be the most popular.  The glitter version looks like squid bait.

It’s Leo the vibrating dildo, from Vixen, and it doesn’t sparkle.  It shimmers.

What’d it come in?

Leo came in the same neat sort of cylinder Randy came in, only with black ends.  Same black and red sticker.  Same almost perfect fit.  Same staying power in the lids.  I love it.

How’s it made?

Can I just say, if it weren’t for the wrinkly foreskin, and the difference in the shape of the head, I would swear Vixen took a mold of M’s cock before making Leo.  Leo’s just barely an inch shorter, but about the same width (M’s slightly wider) and shape.  Even the veins are all in the right place!

That made it a little easier to get over the fact that, in day light, it looks like a zombie dick.  Read more…

Categories: Insertables Tags: