Home > Rayne > On Dominants “Caving” and We’re Saved! Sort Of.

On Dominants “Caving” and We’re Saved! Sort Of.

February 25th, 2010

First things first… The power company gave me an extension.  After days of telling me there was nothing they could do, and basically shrugging their shoulders when I explained to them all the reasons why shutting my power off would be just as bad for them as it would be for us (M works from home, so He’d lose His job.  Him losing His job would cut our ties with NY, and we could move somewhere not covered by our current electric company, which would give me the ability to pay it at my leisure, or not at all if we decide to rent for the rest of our lives.  M wants to eventually buy a house, though, so we’d end up paying… Just not as quickly as if we are still on their grid.), and making sure to end every call with, “You need to figure this out, or we’re shutting you off.”, I got someone on the phone willing to work a loophole in their system.  We now have the time we need to pay the bill, and we’re able to pay the amount we owe this month and not the ginormous sum they wanted us to pay.

I reiterate my previous statement.  Utility companies are terrorists.

The cable might get shut off tomorrow.  But that bill’s tiny, and I can pay it and get it turned back on on Monday.  And M could use a weekend without work, so I’m really not sweating it.  He is, though.  Cause He does have work to do this weekend.  So we’re probably going to spend Saturday and Sunday in the office.

Master got kind of irritated, the other day, when I claimed blame, citing His willingness to do what I think is right when the situation is dire.  I think, at first, He misunderstood me and thought I was saying that I could manipulate Him to my will at any time.  I said, “This is my fault.  If I’d only pushed you, we’d be fine.”  without clarifying.  But once I explained that I meant He folds in times when He should (like when there’s a bill to pay that could potentially make or break us), and not times when He should remain firm, He was less irritated.

And ya know, if you talk to some of the M/s elite, folding at all is considered “doing it wrong” and “allowing the submissive control”.  But from where I sit, that’s just retarded.

I mean, say M and I are hiking through the woods.  Say it’s a trail system I’ve hiked a lot, but M’s only been there once and down one trail.  Maybe there’s been a storm, and I know which portions of the trail system are usually destroyed by bad weather.  But M has a specific place He wants to go and only knows the direction I took Him.

Should I tell Him about the possible impasses? Absolutely! Should we go the way we went last because that’s the way M knows, even though I know there are some spots along the way that are probably impassable? Unless there’s a specific reason (like a patch of flowers He wants to photograph, or a marsh that usually has lots of birds perched on the tops of reeds), probably not.  Is that giving me control of things? No! It’s simply recognizing that I know the area better and saving ourselves time.  And from where I stand, there’s nothing wrong with that.

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  1. alwaysHistora
    February 25th, 2010 at 22:39 | #1

    i think there is quite a difference in a Master utilizing the skills of his slave versus a Master caving to the suggestions/demands of the slave out of ignorance, boredom or avoidance of conflict. Sounds like he utilizes you effectively. Yay for everyone involved. 🙂

    If it makes you feel any better about finding out you aren’t one of the elite twoo M/s, we must not be either, because He defers to me on most healthcare decisions. *shrugs* i know more, i have a health career background…would be stupid of Him to insist He knows better, yes?

    So who is better off? The master who ignores His slave’s pleas for him to get medical help and suffers needlessly, just to prove he’s top shit, or the Master who heeds his informed slave’s suggestions and is on the mend immediately?

    i hear ya. Hooray for getting out of the power co’s grasp, btw!!

  2. February 26th, 2010 at 01:55 | #2


    I absolutely agree. In fact, in my stories, I generally have the Masters requiring their slaves to be proactive in their submission, anticipating the Master’s needs to some extent.

    I recall a story I heard in church, about a husband who let his wife deal with the finances since he was pretty math dense. He’d been asked, “how does that square with you being the head of the household? You should be taking responsibility for the money, not her.” (this was one of those wife in submission to the husband churches) His repsonce was, “I am responsible. I tell her to do it, and she does.”

    Of course, any competant manager will tell you that failing to use the available resources is just stupid; and last I checked, melen wasn’t stupid. 🙂


  3. February 26th, 2010 at 05:48 | #3

    It’s called looking after him. You’re a good girl hun xxx

  4. February 26th, 2010 at 16:13 | #4

    I wouldn’t call that “folding” or “caving”. Both terms, in my mind, are negative suggesting a lack of an ability to hold firm.

    That is not what I do. What I do is take all the available information and try to make the best decision based on that. Sometimes after having more information I learn my first choice wasn’t the right one.

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