Archive for February 24th, 2010

Why Would You Say That?!

February 24th, 2010 8 comments

A week or two ago, i was discussing the Consensual – Non-consent (C/NC) aspect of my relationship with a nice enough person at FetLife. Unsurprisingly, the topic had popped up on one of the boards, closely linked with no-limits slavery. i didn’t post there, i know better than that. i would have probably gotten bitchslapped by N for getting too riled up and personally invested in something so trivial as Internet discussion. Fair ’nuff.

For reasons revealed later, a person unknown to me personal messages me, asking if i practice C/NC and stuff.  Cautiously, i ask “Why?” They started out the discussion fairly nice wanting to understand the structure, the intent, trying to grasp why i’d want such a thing, how i could trust a human, an imperfect being, with my very life. It’s hard to describe why being His in all ways makes me fulfilled and calls me to service, but i did my damnedest how i strive to meet His expectations, that it gives me a focus in life that i cannot live happily without. Very quickly, the tone of the discussion devolves into one of criticism. i tried to guide the person back to a respectful tone, but when they made clear that they were trying to convince me that i was bound to die this way, and that i was a horrible person for being so messed up that i needed a guy to smack me around and “rape” me to make me feel right, i informed them that the conversation was over.

There are so many things wrong with the “information” they tried to convince me with, all i could do was sit back and laugh while i shook my head in rueful amusement.

i got one more message from them. They said that i was no better than my elitist bitch friends, that they thought i was smarter than the other people on my friends list and would have seen the error of my ways. That i would end up dead in a ditch some day, used and discarded, my children left motherless, so that i could fulfill my future as human trash.

They closed with wishing that my no-limits-beyond-His C/NC relationship would fail miserably and that i lost everything i had, so i could see how horrible a person i really was when i couldn’t “hide” behind the O/p dynamic. And, i guess to rub salt into my wound, they also assured me that no court would EVER give custody of children to a psychopathic freak like me.

What the fuck?!

You seriously wish someone that much ill because they won’t agree with your little version of truth? A person you never met, never will meet, has enraged you so badly by honoring her oaths that you wish her dead. You wish she loses her children and is left stranded, destitute and mentally destroyed.

How is that the sign of a “normal” person? A bit exaggerated of a response to a nameless entity 2000 miles away, ennit? So how am i the crazy one? Why on earth would i want to agree on anything with you?! Much less alter the entire scope of my relationship with the one Man who has ever tried to fully meet me term to term and commit to showing me He cared? Awfully presumptuous of a person to believe they have that much power through a fucking keyboard.

The mind boggles.

i promptly blocked the fucker and went on my merry way. i figure, if the world is made of people like them, i’d rather be the odd freak out anyhow.

Categories: Uncategorized Tags: