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Love and War…

February 11th, 2010

All is fair in love and war, right? What about M/s? Are there things that are off-limits due to ethics?

Not in DK’s house.

DK is doing a serious number on my head at the moment. He’s basically, by his own phrasing, ripping my self-image, my self-esteem and my mind to shreds. We’re quite early on in this and, at the moment, his main weapon is humiliation. I’m quite hard to humiliate. He greets me with “whore” and I smile. He says “cunt” and I say “yes, Boss?”. I don’t get embarassed easily, I am quite confident and I’m very comfortable with the person I am… or was.

DK and I had a conversation a couple of weeks ago, before we went this deep into it, about how he touches on buttons with me he’s never touched before. He gets… vicious. He gets mean. He is cruel. He actually dismantles all of the things I am confident about. I am smart, I am quite a nice shape, I am funny, I am independent, well-motivated, strong-willed, free-thinking, obedient, polite, composed… Ask me again when he starts whispering poisonous words into my ear, infiltrating my mind and destroying my confidence. He digs his venomous talons into me and starts ripping.

Now… When I read most M/s postings, the conversation gets round to ethics and morals. Usually paired with the limits debate is the “My morals are too strong to damage my slave permanently.” What? Why? She’s your slave! I have absolutely no understanding of that. If an owner chooses not to cause irreparable damage to their slave because they don’t *want* to… Fine! That makes wonderful, beautiful sense… But to say that it is immoral to turn the human being you have complete ownership into something else? What?

All is fair in love, war and TPE. In DK’s house… Those three make life.

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  1. February 11th, 2010 at 12:45 | #1

    But to say that it is immoral to turn the human being you have complete ownership into something else?

    It’s the whole “human being” aspect. Some people don’t believe in permanently damaging any human being, slave or no.

  2. alwaysHistora
    February 11th, 2010 at 13:35 | #2

    N has said before, and i wholly agree…”Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should”.

    If you want to be torn apart beyond the ability to be repaired, and he wants to do it to you, yay for you both. For those Masters or Owners that don’t desire to destroy their human property just because they can, they are not less than DK.

    My Owner chose me because i was decent raw material. My core is strong and attractive, i just need to be shaped and molded into the proper final product. He does not want to completely eradicate the very person He desired to own. Just enhance.

  3. February 11th, 2010 at 13:44 | #3

    Those people need to realize that sometimes mental/emotion pain, such as that felt from being humiliated, can be used for a positive outcome.

    I’ve used extreme humiliation with rayne to train some of the undesirable aspects of her personality out of her. Those aspects I’m referring to are low self image/low self esteem, and the like. I would venture to guess that, at least with rayne, I’ve been more successful than a decade of therapy would’ve been.

    Course, sometimes I just like being mean.

  4. February 11th, 2010 at 15:42 | #4

    @alwaysHistora
    For this comment I’m going to put aside the sadistic aspect primarily and concentrate just on humiliation with regards to training. Also, my previous comment wasn’t in response to yours. I hadn’t seen your yet.

    Any dominant that has a gift for training knows that training methods vary by slave. This is why it’s so tough when a new dominant asks “How do I train my slave?”. Well, the answer is, we have no idea how you would train your slave. It depends on each slaves mental make up.

    In some cases humiliation is a very good tool for training. Once again, it depends on the slave being trained. For rayne, she’s an extreme masochist, so most physical training methods are essentially useless. I had to watch her, pry a little, and come up with methods that DO have an effect. Humiliation is one of them, and I would venture to say we’ve had alot of positive growth using such a demonized method of training.

    When I break rayne down (utterly and totally), I do not ‘erase’ her personality, or ‘train out’ those things that attracted me to her in the first place. That would be foolish and I would only be letting myself down. Breaking someone down and making them 100% dependent does not necessarily equate to wiping clean their personality. A good trainer will know when to use it, how much to push, and will know how to guide the slave so that she doesn’t completely lose herself.

    The real issue is so many men try to use humiliation for training when they really do not know what they’re doing, or worse they’re disguising their sadism by calling it “training”, rather than just admitting the truth.

    I am a sadist, and by definition, I get sexual gratification by hurting or degrading others. I am not afraid to state, outright, the type of person I am. Rayne, of course, knows this, and being fully informed, agreed to any treatment I feel like using on her, without exception. That I use humiliation (both for training, and just because I want to) doesn’t mean rayne is any less of a slave and that shouldn’t be equated with her not being “decent raw material”.

    I’m generally a believer in “Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should” as well, but it’s very important to remember that lines you or your owner chooses not to cross aren’t the same lines for the rest of us. I would venture to say “Know what you’re doing, and be honest!” is a better phrase to live by.

  5. February 11th, 2010 at 16:46 | #5

    @alwaysHistora
    “If an owner chooses not to cause irreparable damage to their slave because they don’t *want* to… Fine! That makes wonderful, beautiful sense”

    Didn’t that cover it? I never intended to give the idea that DK is “more than” anyone. DK just chooses to completely remodel me rather than reshape me.

  6. February 11th, 2010 at 20:20 | #6

    “or worse they’re disguising their sadism by calling it “training”, rather than just admitting the truth.”

    I’m happy to admit it is partly training, for a reason, her improvement, and partly emotional sadism, for a reason, my ennjoyment.

  7. alwaysHistora
    February 11th, 2010 at 22:36 | #7

    @all: i’m going to bow out of this one. i’m not well enough to really flesh this out and i have a pretty good idea that i’m carrying a bit too much personal investment into this. i will say that i believe that taking people apart has its pros and cons, and that the reasons behind them are myriad, it is fraught with negative associations and is only as good as the person doing it. i can’t really think harder than that…i’m recovering from a nasty illness and really shouldn’t have said anything at all.

  8. February 12th, 2010 at 01:07 | #8

    “as good as the person doing it.”

    She thinks I’m good enough. I know I am. Where is the problem?

    I do not censor her writing here, nor the comments. Nor is she permitted to. So if any reader, any fellow contributor wishes to address points, feel free, but don’t bitch if you don’t like the response.

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