Archive for February 11th, 2010

All the Reasons You’re Slavier Than Me

February 11th, 2010 3 comments

I promised a list of why I’m a princess, huh?

  1. My owner loves me.
  2. He’s so interested in my thoughts and emotions that He requires me to share them with Him.
  3. He listens to me.
  4. He occasionally acts on what He hears me say.
  5. I’m pampered.
  6. I’m cuddled.
  7. I’m taken care of.
  8. He makes sure I understand why I’m being punished before punishing me.
  9. He usually stops beating me (physically and emotionally) when I can’t take anymore.  Even when I try to take more than I’m able to please Him.  Unless it amuses Him to continue beating me.  It does, sometimes.
  10. I’ve been at this seven years and I’m right back at the beginning.  I need training.  Not only do I need training, but I’ve been trained before.  So one could say I need retraining.
  11. I need punishment.  Frequently.
  12. I throw temper tantrums.  Frequently.
  13. I need to be knocked on my ass.  Not quite as frequently.
  14. He helps me with the chores.  Sometimes.
  15. He backs off when something else is kicking me.  Mostly.
  16. He tries to understand where I’m coming from and take my intent into consideration.  Unless it’s still bullshit.  Then all bets are off.
  17. I fight sometimes.  Hard.
  18. I push His buttons.
  19. I kick Him while He’s down.
  20. I ran away once.

I’m not proud of it.  I used to be damn good at manipulation, what can I say? And if I can manipulate a situation, I will. Cause if I can manipulate you (you universal, not specific… I try this shit in some friendships, work situations, family life…) into giving me a smidge of control, I decide you’re weak.  And then I snatch the reins.

He’s (mostly) not entertaining my bullshit anymore.  It’s kind of a slap in the face.

I kinda needed a slap in the face.

So, yeah.  You’re slavier than me.  You know it.  I know it.  Let’s get passed it.  K? K.

Categories: Rayne Tags:

Fucking and Punching Turns into Rambling

February 11th, 2010 6 comments

I can’t remember if I mentioned it or not, but I’m an official regular guest writer over at Submissive Guide, now.  My first official regular post went up today.  Lol.  It’s just an introduction.

And have y’all seen People can ask you questions there about whatever.  They don’t even have to sign in.  I’m on there if anyone’s got questions.  Or whatever.

Now that that’s out of the way…

The other day, Master walked over and grabbed me by the throat.  He put His lips close to my ear and asked, “What are you?”

“Slave” is no longer the correct answer.  “Property” doesn’t do it for Him either.  “Pig whore” is who and what I am in our dynamic.  And when I answered Him, He responded with “What are you good for?”

There are a billion answers to that.  There’s tons I’m good at.  But that’s not what He’s asking.  He’s asking, when it comes right down to it, what kind of treatment I deserve.  And, my eyes trained on the wall in front of me, I responded plainly, “Fucking and hurting.” with that half-embarrassed smile us girlies tend to get when we’re uncomfortable.  When the danger is crackling in the air.  Our hairs standing on end.

He ordered me into lingerie and leather and then to the floor beside His office chair.  And it was minutes before a tongue bath turned into a blow job.  Seconds before the blow job turned into me on the bed with my ass in the air and Him beating me.

I shot myself in the foot when I held still the other night.  He expects it all the time, now.  I almost didn’t get fucked because He managed to land a direct and solid blow to my clit and inner labia, and I shot clear across the bed.  I’m pretty sure, by the strength of the blow, even He wasn’t expecting it to land where it did.  And He granted me reprieve when I held still for the rest of the assault He committed against my thighs, pussy and ass.  Read more…

Categories: Rayne Tags:

Love and War…

February 11th, 2010 8 comments

All is fair in love and war, right? What about M/s? Are there things that are off-limits due to ethics?

Not in DK’s house.

DK is doing a serious number on my head at the moment. He’s basically, by his own phrasing, ripping my self-image, my self-esteem and my mind to shreds. We’re quite early on in this and, at the moment, his main weapon is humiliation. I’m quite hard to humiliate. He greets me with “whore” and I smile. He says “cunt” and I say “yes, Boss?”. I don’t get embarassed easily, I am quite confident and I’m very comfortable with the person I am… or was.

DK and I had a conversation a couple of weeks ago, before we went this deep into it, about how he touches on buttons with me he’s never touched before. He gets… vicious. He gets mean. He is cruel. He actually dismantles all of the things I am confident about. I am smart, I am quite a nice shape, I am funny, I am independent, well-motivated, strong-willed, free-thinking, obedient, polite, composed… Ask me again when he starts whispering poisonous words into my ear, infiltrating my mind and destroying my confidence. He digs his venomous talons into me and starts ripping.

Now… When I read most M/s postings, the conversation gets round to ethics and morals. Usually paired with the limits debate is the “My morals are too strong to damage my slave permanently.” What? Why? She’s your slave! I have absolutely no understanding of that. If an owner chooses not to cause irreparable damage to their slave because they don’t *want* to… Fine! That makes wonderful, beautiful sense… But to say that it is immoral to turn the human being you have complete ownership into something else? What?

All is fair in love, war and TPE. In DK’s house… Those three make life.

Categories: Sojourners Tags: