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Product Review: Tongue Vibe by Empire Labs Incorporated

January 29th, 2010

Ooo, what’s that?

Well, it’s not the tongue vibe I thought it was, but that’s okay.  I’ve found plenty of other uses for this Tongue Vibe by Empire Labs Incorporated.

What’d it come in?

You  know those molded plastic sleeves that are melted shut at the sides? The ones that are a bitch to open? Yeah, it came in one of those with a bright red insert.  On the insert are three different pictures of the toy in use… sort of.  In one photo, the Tongue Vibe is on a couple dildos.  In another, it’s wrapped around a banana and a cucumber.  And on the last, it’s wrapped around fingers.  The packaging claims this vibe is “oral sex made easy” and well… You’ll just have to finish the review to find out.

As you can see, inside the package, you’ll find a small hard plastic compact, about the size and shape of a powder compact, that contains two Tongue Vibes, both with batteries already installed, and four extra batteries.  While it is a pain in the ass to open (I often have to use a butter knife), this compact was a nifty idea. 

How’s it made?

Each vibe, inside its (phthalates and latex free, hypoallergenic and complete with finger/cock/tongue strap) jelly sleeve, is one and one-quarter inches long and half an inch wide.  The vibes themselves are made of plastic and each have a black washer around the battery compartment.  Both vibes are ribbed and both glow in the dark.

Each vibe has two different vibration intensities, controlled by a small, easily broken slide-dial on the end opposite the battery compartment.  I’d probably rate them as low and medium.

This toy is virtually silent.  The higher speed occasionally emits a strange, high pitched buzzing sound, but I think that has to do with positioning and pressure.  Perhaps I’m squeezing it too hard when I turn it on?

The batteries are small enough to fit in a hearing aid, so I’m guessing that’s what you’ll need to replace them.

The compact it comes with makes this toy ridiculously awesome for travel.  Make sure your batteries are fresh, snap it closed and throw it in your purse.  Stick it in your pocket.  Scrape off the wording on the front or tape over it and just carry it in your hand.  Most people will probably think it’s some sort of light-up concert toy or something.

What’s it for?

Teasing your partner, mostly.  I mean, I realize it’s made to improve oral sex but… Well, you’ll see.

How is it?

Rayne’s Rating:
Pros: Cons:
travel and body friendly
doesn’t stay in place
while in use orally

When I opened the Tongue Vibe, I wanted to kick myself.  For some reason, I got it in my head that this was the one you could screw onto a tongue ring.  I was wrong.  But not being one to be foiled so easily, I ripped the toy from its box and began playing around with the pink one.  Which I promptly broke.

I mean, not so much that it’s not usable anymore.  It just doesn’t actually shut off anymore.  So I took the batteries out and put it back in the case.  Then started fiddling with the blue one.

Oddly enough, though they’re made exactly the same, the blue one seems much sturdier than the pink one.  So after turning it on, I fitted the band around my tongue.

I tried it with the vibe on top of my tongue and underneath.  I wrapped the band around my tongue ring.  But it continued to roll off my tongue and smack into my teeth.  I almost gave up.  Then I took another look at the package and chided myself for not being more creative.

While not so great for its intended use (oral sex), this toy makes a great teaser or warm up toy.  Give your fingers a gentle, teasing throb and dance them over your lover’s skin.  Use it as a makeshift vibrating cock ring.  Or just hold it in your mouth, without the band and under your tongue, while performing oral sex.  The only real purpose I see the band serving if it worked the way it was intended is preventing the vibe from accidentally slipping to the back of your throat and choking you.

It’s not the greatest novelty in the world, but it’s definitely not the worst, either.  Beginners, new couples, couples looking to ease their way into using sex toys with a partner will love this addition to their toy box.

How do you care for it?

You’re probably gonna want to take the batteries out when storing it.  Especially if you manage to break the switch, like I did.  It came with the vibe in its sleeve with the switch inside and the battery compartment outside.  I’m not sure if that makes a difference in waterproofing or usage, but I make sure to put it in that way anyway, just in case.

Wash the sleeve and the vibe with antibacterial soap.  Or you could probably wipe it down with Listerine, while you’re at it.  Then toss it in your dresser, or your purse, or your desk.  It’ll fit just about anywhere.

Where’d ya get it?

Adam & Eve sent Tongue Vibe to me free of charge in exchange for an honest review. Adam and Eve is one of the oldest toy companies out there. They promote a sex positive lifestyle with their wide array of sex toys, lingerie and adult movies. They offer discreet shopping and shipping and guarantee your satisfaction. They also donate twenty-five percent of the proceeds from each purchase to a nonprofit organization dedicated to the prevention of the spread of disease and overpopulation around the world.

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