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Extreme just isn’t “us”

January 18th, 2010

We have three lil guys, all under the age of five. Many people assume that we put the Owner/property relationship on hold until the kids are out of the house, and i stare at them with a blank look. On hold? Does not compute. Input Error. Try Again Later. There is no “on hold”. How do i put something that is an integral part of me and how i relate/interact with Him on hold? Why would i? So i start asking them questions on why they think i can’t be property and a mother, and it invariably boils down to Children should not be exposed to sexual practices.

Well no shit Sherlock. Good thing i have you here to point out something so freaking obvious that a blind, deaf and dumb person could sign that. So i unload on said idiot criticizer:

Owner/property, while having a fun impact on my sexuality, is not about sex, whips, chains and toys. They are all  fun, but that isn’t the entirety. It’s more about owning someone and being owned, getting a firm grip on the property’s mind, their beliefs, their will, and using it to the Owner’s will and liking. Serving someone without hesitation and doubt, knowing your happiness and calling lie in belonging to another. Leather cuffs and wooden paddles can only go so far into a person’s mind. Programming and conditioning, however, are much more effective. And hated.

People outside of O/p and some M/s circles don’t like that. It’s too subtle. It’s too invasive. It’s too…extreme.

Why? What is so extreme about trusting The Man when He says “I will do what is best for me and mine, so follow?” Why on earth would i trust Him when i am tied to a wooden pole and He has unpleasant hurty things coming at me, but wouldn’t trust His judgment on my medical care? Or how to best weed out bad parts of my personality? i’ve had quite a few people label this life i live with The Man as “extreme”. If they’d met us in real life, face to face, i don’t think they’d be so quick to slap that happy little label on us.

We aren’t big on most outward aspects of O/p or M/s. i don’t wear cuffs, don’t follow Him on a leash that you can see, i’m not quivering at His feet while He loudly proclaims His ownership of me. But i’m owned. No doubt about it. Most of the restraints just happen to be inside my head, not on my limbs. i say my nightly devotion, kneeling and collared, to The Man at night time, after the buckos are in bed. He phrases His demands as requests when the kids are around, but i’m not fooled as to whether i can refuse.  The physical “play” and sexual service is kept for when the kids are out or asleep. How is that any different than other D/s’ers or even vanilla households? This is why it works for me to be the p in an O/p relationship and be a mother to three. The latter does not interfere with the former, nor vis versa. My children do not see Daddy hitting Mommy or Mommy on her knees kowtowing to Daddy. They see happy parents, Mom devoted to Dad, Dad caring for us all, a workable partnership.

Children have a right to be raised in a happy, healthy, balanced house. That is exactly what they have here in this house. Two parents, comfortable with who they are, living authentically without the need for outward trappings of an inherently mental orientation.

What is so wrong with that? What is so extreme? Why are people so afraid?

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  1. January 18th, 2010 at 11:06 | #1

    That sounds like a good balance. I’ve never seen a healthy 24/7 Master/slave family arrangement, but then again I’ve only seen a couple up close and personal. One time I was being tied up at someone’s house who had kids, and I was standing there naked in his living room getting trussed, and his 3 yr old daughter walked in.

    I said nervously, “Um, your kid is over there,” and he replied airily, “Oh don’t worry that’s just a baby child.” To me, that is NOT COOL. She’s watching her daddy tie up a naked strange woman. I mean, not even her slave mom. Makes me wonder what all goes on in that house that she sees and how much of it will affect her later in life.

  2. s
    January 18th, 2010 at 17:24 | #2

    Thankyou…. thankyou…. thankyou…..

    you have just described the very life i aim to live…. and gives credibility and reason to so much that has been running around in my head for years…… and i love that it is in direct conflict and contrast with the ‘play’ that so many believe this is all about…..

    this is how we choose to live…. love and be loved….

    deepest respect to you both….

  3. alwaysHistora
    January 18th, 2010 at 20:10 | #3

    Thank you both, The Beautiful Kind and s. To me, this is why O/p relationships can easily be compatible with parenthood. The emphasis is less on sex, whips & chains, more about personal interaction and reactions.

    @Beautiful Kind: i would be greatly disturbed if any D/M/O-type were to react to such an occurrence. That is *not* the way children should be raised. 🙁

    @s: Yes, it is possible, and more so, it is a wonderful, loving and healthy way for a family to be structured and raised. Don’t give up!

  4. January 19th, 2010 at 22:18 | #4

    Great post. I am curious if you and your Master have any different rules or protocols that you are to follow with the children around?
    .-= Kayla´s last blog ..Erotica: All in a Play Party’s Night =-.

  5. January 21st, 2010 at 14:34 | #5

    First of all, my apologies for being so tardy in replying. The Man has avalanched me in a load of business work and i am still digging myself out.

    Now on to the meat. Protocols for around the kids? Not really Protocols, He finds, are too stiff and unforgiving. It’s more like situational guidelines.

    When the kids are around, things just get subtle. The kids have to ask Dad if they can leave the table. i set a good example and ask as well. They sit on the floor quite a bit, and so do i. i ask Him for permission to leave His side in the store, or to buy something, and explain it as a polite way to respect a partner and make sure we don’t get separated. They do not have the silly idea that mom is not in charge of them – they know i am a force to be reckoned with on my own. They *do* know that i will talk to Him about any changes that might need to be made, and that He listens to what i suggest.

    They see respect and honor. From both sides. They see communication, honesty and fulfillment. They even see love. 🙂

  6. Taja
    January 21st, 2010 at 17:37 | #6

    Thankyou for making this post.

    It is almost exactly the way that Palus and I interact.

    We have 4 daughters, and I find it perfectly possible to be Palus’s slave, his property, and a mother at the same time.

    It really does annoy me when people start to tell me that I am exposing my girls to my “sexual kinks” because I am not. They only see that Palus and I are very much in love. Nothing more than that.

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