Archive for January 18th, 2010

I don’t hate you, Feminism. You just get on my nerves, sometimes.

January 18th, 2010 5 comments

Last year (I love saying that in January, as if what I’m talking about was more than a few weeks ago.), I posted about feminist fanatics refusing to look at reality when it hurts their cause.  A while ago, the opinion of this chick on the intarwebs prompted me to write feminist organizations asking for their stances on BDSM relationships.  But even through all that, I’m still not sure I’ve given a clear view of how I feel about the subject of feminism.

I’ve never said I’m not grateful for women’s liberation, or that I don’t believe in at least a part of their cause.  But as I’ve said before, I do take issue with someone who doesn’t even know I exist deciding what’s best for me.  And I think things are getting a little out of hand.

I don’t know whether or not I agree with the conviction that’s popping up everywhere, these days.  The belief that we no longer need the feminist movement.  I mean, on the one hand, I think things are getting a little out of control because, while not everyone involved in the feminist movement is trying to free women from even themselves, the ones who are are pretty outspoken.  Sometimes, they’re the only ones who can be heard.

On the other hand, there are still women in America (Not to mention other countries, but let’s be honest.  We have no right or responsibility to tell countries most of us have never even heard of, let alone visited or lived in, how they should live their lives.  Seriously.) who need help.  Who need someone to stand up for them.  I’m just not one of them.  Neither are any of my friends.

I guess it just irritates me that people are so presumptuous.  We appreciate your concern, but it’s not warranted.  You know?

I am absolutely for giving both men and women the right to choose how to live their lives.  I think we should all have equal rights if we want them.  I absolutely believe we should all be paid according to our skill set and not our gender (or race, or religion, or social status, or supposed birth right, or whatever).

I’ll admit, a perfect world, for me (and most definitely for Master), would be something resembling Gor.  But that’s just cause it gets my girl parts all hot and bothered.  I know the reality of things is that eventually, a world like that would implode on itself.  Why? Because the storyline is basically world history with a little sci-fi and extra sexism thrown in.  And we seem damn near on the verge of imploding on ourselves all. the. time.  It’ll happen one day.  I hope to whatever controls the fates, if anything, that it will be long after my line has died out.  Read more…

Extreme just isn’t “us”

January 18th, 2010 6 comments

We have three lil guys, all under the age of five. Many people assume that we put the Owner/property relationship on hold until the kids are out of the house, and i stare at them with a blank look. On hold? Does not compute. Input Error. Try Again Later. There is no “on hold”. How do i put something that is an integral part of me and how i relate/interact with Him on hold? Why would i? So i start asking them questions on why they think i can’t be property and a mother, and it invariably boils down to Children should not be exposed to sexual practices.

Well no shit Sherlock. Good thing i have you here to point out something so freaking obvious that a blind, deaf and dumb person could sign that. So i unload on said idiot criticizer:

Owner/property, while having a fun impact on my sexuality, is not about sex, whips, chains and toys. They are all  fun, but that isn’t the entirety. It’s more about owning someone and being owned, getting a firm grip on the property’s mind, their beliefs, their will, and using it to the Owner’s will and liking. Serving someone without hesitation and doubt, knowing your happiness and calling lie in belonging to another. Leather cuffs and wooden paddles can only go so far into a person’s mind. Programming and conditioning, however, are much more effective. And hated.

People outside of O/p and some M/s circles don’t like that. It’s too subtle. It’s too invasive. It’s too…extreme.

Why? What is so extreme about trusting The Man when He says “I will do what is best for me and mine, so follow?” Why on earth would i trust Him when i am tied to a wooden pole and He has unpleasant hurty things coming at me, but wouldn’t trust His judgment on my medical care? Or how to best weed out bad parts of my personality? i’ve had quite a few people label this life i live with The Man as “extreme”. If they’d met us in real life, face to face, i don’t think they’d be so quick to slap that happy little label on us.

We aren’t big on most outward aspects of O/p or M/s. i don’t wear cuffs, don’t follow Him on a leash that you can see, i’m not quivering at His feet while He loudly proclaims His ownership of me. But i’m owned. No doubt about it. Most of the restraints just happen to be inside my head, not on my limbs. i say my nightly devotion, kneeling and collared, to The Man at night time, after the buckos are in bed. He phrases His demands as requests when the kids are around, but i’m not fooled as to whether i can refuse.  The physical “play” and sexual service is kept for when the kids are out or asleep. How is that any different than other D/s’ers or even vanilla households? This is why it works for me to be the p in an O/p relationship and be a mother to three. The latter does not interfere with the former, nor vis versa. My children do not see Daddy hitting Mommy or Mommy on her knees kowtowing to Daddy. They see happy parents, Mom devoted to Dad, Dad caring for us all, a workable partnership.

Children have a right to be raised in a happy, healthy, balanced house. That is exactly what they have here in this house. Two parents, comfortable with who they are, living authentically without the need for outward trappings of an inherently mental orientation.

What is so wrong with that? What is so extreme? Why are people so afraid?

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Pansexual? What’s that? (Or “If You Breathe and Can Give Consent…) – A Reposting

January 18th, 2010 1 comment

I admit I don’t really keep up on the lingo when it comes to new terms for things.  With regard to sexuality, heterosexual, homosexual and bisexual were it for me, until recently.  And when I finally heard the term “[[pansexual]]”, I didn’t make much of an effort to learn what it was.  Until Saynine, a friend from FetLife and Twitter, posted about his pansexuality.  I’m reposting it here, with his permission, to give those of our readers who, like me, have no clue an idea of what it means to be “pansexual”.  Thanks, Saynine!

When Jewelgen and I decided to explore ideas of being Poly and playing with other people we discussed many different scenarios. It is a comfortable way to work through ideas and fears. We did a lot of “What If” and then answered each other honestly. It was a way to discover each others comfort levels and I think both of us were surprised with how easy it felt.

@jewelgen mentioned that she was interested in exploring with women, and I was not at all surprised. She had never mentioned an interest in Women but I suspected that she was open to the idea.

But nagging in the back of my head was something that I knew we had to talk about. I had realized long before that I was sexually attracted to many different types of folks, including Males, Trans people, and other genders. However I had never expressed this to Jewelgen. It took me a few weeks but I finally told her. I wasn’t worried about her response. I had seen her drooling of gay porn and I knew she had a definite kink for seeing men together.

My concerns when I really thought about it were less tangible, but I think what I felt was that once I put it to words I could no longer deny it. I would never feel OK not being upfront about it after that.

Of course Jewelgen took it as I knew she would, with great support and no concerns.

When I really started thinking about what I was, Bi-Sexual just didn’t seem to describe what I felt like. In my mind Bi-Sexual is someone who bonds emotionally as well as being sexually attracted to males and females. But this didn’t really describe how I felt. While sexually attracted to all genders I do not feel the emotional bond I do with females. A little reading lead me to the term Pansexual . It seemed to encompass my sexual attitude.

At a munch we sometime attend introductions are made around the room. When they get to me I sometimes say “I am a Pansexual Dom, which means if you breathe and can give consent, I will beat you and fuck you”

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