Archive

Archive for January 16th, 2010

The One Where I Give M More Ammunition for His Arsenal

January 16th, 2010 5 comments

Because I can’t think of anything to blog about today besides the post I made on Mindcryme, I stole this from Kaya, who stole it from Subtle.  I haven’t read anyone’s answers because I didn’t want mine to be swayed.  Yeah… I’m that lame.

1. Your role?

Slave

2. Current relationship?

I’m married to my owner.

3. Your favourite type of play?

When He doesn’t let my screams deter Him.  The satisfaction from a scene like that is indescribable.

4. Your most hated type of play?

When He coaxes me into believing that He’s going to be nice to me, then turns on me.  That sends me into a tailspin for a while.  But He always brings me back to Him.

5. The most annoying habit of your owner/slave/whatever you call your SO?

Working.  He is, without a doubt, a work-a-holic.  He’ll tell you He’s just responsible.  But it goes so far beyond just being responsible…

I love Him for it.  It keeps a roof over my head, and food in my belly, while I sit here behind a computer and hack at fulfilling my dream of being a writer.  But I wish He’d give Himself a break.  He deserves it.

6. Your deepest fear?

Dying.

Which is bizarre because I used to long for death like you wouldn’t believe.  If I wasn’t trying to commit suicide, I was begging God (At the time, I was still Christian.  Most junkies are.) to take my life, and then cursing Him each morning when I woke.

I would lay in bed for hours willing myself to stop breathing and concentrating on slowing my heart.  I’d take baths just so I could sink under the water and try to drown myself.  I’d walk the streets in the worst neighborhoods alone hoping someone would see the open invitation to take my life.

But now? Now, I see how much life has to offer.  And I’m petrified of losing mine before I’m ready.  Read more…

Categories: Rayne Tags: