Archive for January 14th, 2010

Exploration Pt. 2 – Pride of Place

January 14th, 2010 Comments off

Polyamory is a new thing for me.  I have always been in monoromantic relationships until now.  In the past I was burned on the idea of poly due to idiotic partners who explained poly as him being able to sleep with whomever he wished whenever he wished when I could do nothing but remain loyal to him.  That’s not poly, that’s being a slut.  Not a good slut, but a nasty one.

The relationship I am in now is one I never thought I could be comfortable in.  I am the second in his life and will always be second to his wife, but I don’t feel like a second would.  He devotes time and gives me the attention he gives to his wife.  He makes sure that I am alright and that my world is fine and dandy before he goes off to do the things that he needs to get done.  Whenever he and I make plans to be together for a weekend or go out on a date I always make sure that she is perfectly fine with us spending some alone time together.  Most of the time the three of us spend time together and I enjoy that time greatly.

Last weekend I hit a brick wall for a moment.  I was faced with the realization that he was going to possibly play with another sexually.  Now, I don’t mind this at all and I understand that it is going to happen from time to time, but it upset me a little bit because of how I had been burned in the past.  I spoke with a friend about it and both he and his wife comforted me and made sure I was doing alright.  I sat and further spoke with a friend of theirs who is slowly becoming a great friend to me.

I told her my worries and concerns and she tapped the necklace that I wear every day.  I haven’t taken it off except to sleep and shower since he gave it to me for Christmas.  She told me of pride of place and I asked her what exactly she meant.  She told me that no matter what he does or who he plays with during the course of the night that at the end of it he is coming to bed with me and B.  We talked a bit more and I began to grasp what she meant and understand just exactly how different my relationship is now in relation to those in the past.  Read more…

Categories: Sojourners Tags:

Sadistic Tendencies? When? How?

January 14th, 2010 4 comments

Everywhere, my profile says that I’m a loving slave with sadistic tendencies and masochistic desires.  My masochism precedes me.  Often when I meet new people through old people, one of the first things I’m asked about is my masochism.

But what about the sadistic tendencies?

I talk about it once in a while.  This gnawing sadistic urge that bubbles to the surface from time to time.  Usually on Twitter in passing, or with Master when we’re discussing our fantasies.  But I haven’t really talked about it much, here.

I am quite the closet sadist.  I want a boy and a girl to hurt.  The girl would belong to Master, and we would take turns with her and co-top her, and occasionally, He’d probably let or make her top me to remind me of my place.

But that’s all I want from the boy.  To torment and humiliate him the way only a sadist can, and then send him back to where ever he came from.  Preferably his wife who knows he’s a worthless, pathetic worm crawling to the feet of another sadist, so there’s no question that there are no strings.  Master might be heterosexual, but I’m willing to bet He’d have fun with a male and female slave in His living room.  And He has a good amount of distaste for male slaves, so I doubt He’d much mind allowing me my sadistic pleasures so long as I was good.

That thought is incredibly appealing to me.  I mean, can you imagine? Being alone in a room with two men, one who will spend the entire time hurting and humiliating you, and the other who will spend his time being hurt and humiliated by you… Oh… my.

Course, this jibes with M’s training, which teaches me that I am below all men.  But who am I, a female slave, to tell a man that he cannot be a masochist, or submissive, or slave?

And I cannot deny that when I look at CBT toys, the flood gates open in my vagina and I start fantasizing about borrowing someone’s boy to torment.  I can see the whole scene in my mind.  I’d probably start out light, though, because I don’t know my own strength yet.  I’ve only ever flogged someone once, and at the time, my inner sadist was still too ashamed to let herself blossom.  Read more…

Categories: Rayne Tags:

Exploration Pt. 1

January 14th, 2010 2 comments

Duct Tape/Cling Film Dress created by a friend. And yes, that's me 🙂

Yes, I disappeared for a little while again.  I know, I’m a bad girl.  I should be spanked.  Really, I wouldn’t object.  Alright…maybe just a wee bit.

I’ve been dealing with quite a bit this past week.  I came home from my fabulous weekend with my Daddy to hear horrible news of a dear friend of mine’s murder.  Trust me.  It’s been one HELL of a roller coaster.  I’m not going to dwell on the sad news, but rather the good news since that’s what you readers out there want to read.

Daddy (yes, he came out and said, boldly, that he is my Daddy) and I spent the weekend together this one past.  It was a wonderful end to the break and a great start to my semester.  Last weekend was the weekend we had agreed to explore together and experience my full submission physically.  It turned out better than I think he and I both expected.

For starters, when I arrived at their house on Friday afternoon I was put to work.  It felt good to fall into my role as their submissive to easily.  I find great release and joy in serving and have always had a desire to explore domestic service.  I got my chance and I felt right at home.  I cleaned while they both ran errands and made last minute preparations for the party we were having that night.  When he came home it was just so perfect.  I was listening to my iPod and just dancing around with the broom when he walked through the door and kissed me.  It was perfect because the song that was playing right when he grabbed me was “I Got a Feeling” by the Black Eyed Peas.  And yes, it was a sign that the night was going to be fabulous indeed.

He pulled me to him and kissed me so deeply that I was lost.  I felt the world just slip away and I melted into him.  He slid his hands down my back and slipped my pants off.  I pressed myself against him a bit and he threw me over the back of a chair before he assaulted my pussy with his fingers.  I was soaked waiting for him.  He hadn’t let me touch myself for two days.  I was dripping juice down my legs and his fingers.  And then he commanded me cum, right then and there in the foyer…and I did.  My knees nearly buckled beneath me as I came on him and he just smiled before slapping my ass and going to the kitchen to start cooking.  Read more…

Categories: Sojourners Tags: