Home > Guest Posts > Female Dominant/Male Slave? Kayla Talks About Her Dynamic

Female Dominant/Male Slave? Kayla Talks About Her Dynamic

January 11th, 2010

Here on Insatiable Desire, we’re overrun with male dominants and female submissives.  But what’s it look like on the other side? Is there really any difference? We asked Kayla, from kinky-world.net, to give us a bit of insight into her mistress/slave relationship.  This is what she had to say:

My slave and I live in a 24/7 household. The only difference being from the majority is that my slave is male unlike most of the female slaves. Sometimes it feels like we’re at a disadvantage because more books and advice is geared toward the female slave, but we’ve managed it so far.

My name is Kayla, and his is jor. Or skank. Or slave. Or whatever I feel like calling him at the moment. You see, jor is male, but he enjoys crossdressing, so I have a whole variety of names at my disposal. I’d say he probably takes it a level further with his crossdressing since it’s almost a 24/7 thing (usually only in the house, though sometimes out of it), but I have no problem with it. I’m a bigger girl, and he’s a little skinny thing, so any cute clothes I couldn’t wear, I can stick on him. He’s like my personal Barbie.

Our relationship started after dating vanilla for awhile. He confessed his crossdressing fetish to me; I confessed my watersports fetish to him. We knew we’d already be doing some kinky things, but one day, as I was walking my paper route with him, he mentioned wanting to be owned. After a short discussion, he asked, and I agreed to own him.

Of course, it wasn’t owned in the traditional BDSM sense, but it has been refined to that after a couple of years. We bought a little “Sexy slave kit” from a store and experimented with bondage. I used to give him orders that he had to obey. Regardless of those things, we never really got into all of BDSM until we moved away to college.

Now that we live together 24/7 and attend two local BDSM groups, we really learned what it was like to be a BDSM couple. We’ve refined our lives and our techniques, and you wouldn’t believe how many different skills you can learn if you just bother to pay attention. I’ve learned the basics of most of everything, although still learning a lot of the finer points of rope bondage.

On a daily basis, you’d know that there was a power difference, but it is definitely not apparent. He doesn’t hang around in chest harnesses and covered in rope. He does, however, have to ask for permission to use the bathroom or be sure that all of my needs are met before he is allowed to hop onto his video game console or do his homework. He’s in charge of all of the chores of the house, and he doesn’t hold a job. I, however, hold a job and prefer to be in charge of the finances, so all of this works out to our advantage.

We do attend a high-protocol Master/slave group, but when when we’re here at the apartment, it isn’t very high on protocol. He knows his rules, and he knows if he disobeys them, he’ll have a punishment. He has a nightly ritual to get ready for bed, and a morning one is impossible due to differing college schedules. (You’d be amazed at how much college gets in the way of BDSM)

Either way, it is a little different from what I’m used to seeing from female slaves, but not in a bad way. I can always just save the differences for a future post. I’m excited to be guest posting here and even more excited about learning more about everyone else.

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  1. January 11th, 2010 at 10:32 | #1

    I love reading about the other side of the dynamic. There are a ton of blogs written by female subs, but it’s hard to find any written my male subs or female doms. Whenever I come across one, I’m always really excited about it. Kayla’s blog is fantastic.

    Thanks for this!

  2. May 8th, 2011 at 03:21 | #2

    Always great to read things like this. I love sub women (men too!)

  3. slave jason
    June 7th, 2011 at 22:18 | #3

    It is wonderful to see Your blog.Very hard to know about male slaves owned by a Lady.
    It was some years ago when meeting a True Domme, asked to be trained to serve and make a Lady very happy and pleased.The Domme realized that before Her was a “natural slave” Once training was completed, many sorts of things learnt and practiced,the next almost unbelievable step was taken!The slave was given to a Lady.It has been owned now for well over 6 years. The slave has been taught that it is merely a possession.
    Once for failing to take part in a auction at a Fetish Party, slave was given for many weeks to another Domme, for Her usage. True it could have refused..The problem is that slave would do anything for its Owner.
    Strangely slave is not submissive! slave though will never dispute any command or directive. slave will defend its Owner with its life.

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