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Archive for January 11th, 2010

Love that thing we do – A Subtle Dynamic

January 11th, 2010 5 comments

Our Owner/property relationship breaks down to one very easy, very succinct command: Obey. Preferably graciously, but if the shit comes right down to it, just fucking obey. Sounds easy, but can be as hard as all hell from time to time.

He makes all the decisions in this House, from what to get people for gifts up to whether He should apply for a mortgage to buy a house. He is very kind and asks for my input, educates me if i feel ill-informed about it, but His choice is the ultimate decision, no regrets or dissension allowed. Medical, monetary, parental, familial, career is all His purview. i offer what i can and strive to understand what i learn from Him. i am not guaranteed a reason for things, but if i ask nicely and it doesn’t bother Him, He usually explains it to me so i can better understand His train of thought and maybe emulate it myself.

He isn’t much into protocol, which is no surprise for a Man as laidback and cool as He. There are a few standing rules, so i’ll break them up into public/Family and private/Scene  rules.

Public or Family Guidelines:

  • When walking together, stay on the right side, one step over and one step behind.
  • Ask to leave His side.
  • Let Him do the talking to waitstaff and service.
  • Ask permission to buy anything, explain what it is and why i think we need it.
  • Serve Him first if we are alone, serve the kids first if we are with them.
  • Do not criticize, embarrass or disagree with Him in a negative fashion.

Private or kink-aware Guests:

  • Sit by Him, preferably on the floor
  • Ask to go anywhere or do anything different than the current task
  • Listen more than talk
  • Be aware of the small cues that indicate He needs or desires something

On top of the smaller things like above, i cannot leave the house without His prior permission, unless it’s an immediate emergency. i cannot spend any money without clearing it with Him first. i will not make any plans without asking Him first, and i will bow out of an engagement if He so demands it.

i am to do all of the housework, all of the cooking, most of the child-rearing, and to help out at His notice with the larger, more Master-orientated chores on the farm. He provides the house, i make it a home.

i try to keep all of His favorites, His preferences at the top of my mind when i make the meals. If i cannot avoid making something that He doesn’t enjoy, i provide a substitute for Him.  Read more…

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Female Dominant/Male Slave? Kayla Talks About Her Dynamic

January 11th, 2010 2 comments

Here on Insatiable Desire, we’re overrun with male dominants and female submissives.  But what’s it look like on the other side? Is there really any difference? We asked Kayla, from kinky-world.net, to give us a bit of insight into her mistress/slave relationship.  This is what she had to say:

My slave and I live in a 24/7 household. The only difference being from the majority is that my slave is male unlike most of the female slaves. Sometimes it feels like we’re at a disadvantage because more books and advice is geared toward the female slave, but we’ve managed it so far.

My name is Kayla, and his is jor. Or skank. Or slave. Or whatever I feel like calling him at the moment. You see, jor is male, but he enjoys crossdressing, so I have a whole variety of names at my disposal. I’d say he probably takes it a level further with his crossdressing since it’s almost a 24/7 thing (usually only in the house, though sometimes out of it), but I have no problem with it. I’m a bigger girl, and he’s a little skinny thing, so any cute clothes I couldn’t wear, I can stick on him. He’s like my personal Barbie.

Our relationship started after dating vanilla for awhile. He confessed his crossdressing fetish to me; I confessed my watersports fetish to him. We knew we’d already be doing some kinky things, but one day, as I was walking my paper route with him, he mentioned wanting to be owned. After a short discussion, he asked, and I agreed to own him.

Of course, it wasn’t owned in the traditional BDSM sense, but it has been refined to that after a couple of years. We bought a little “Sexy slave kit” from a store and experimented with bondage. I used to give him orders that he had to obey. Regardless of those things, we never really got into all of BDSM until we moved away to college.

Now that we live together 24/7 and attend two local BDSM groups, we really learned what it was like to be a BDSM couple. We’ve refined our lives and our techniques, and you wouldn’t believe how many different skills you can learn if you just bother to pay attention. I’ve learned the basics of most of everything, although still learning a lot of the finer points of rope bondage.

On a daily basis, you’d know that there was a power difference, but it is definitely not apparent. He doesn’t hang around in chest harnesses and covered in rope. He does, however, have to ask for permission to use the bathroom or be sure that all of my needs are met before he is allowed to hop onto his video game console or do his homework. He’s in charge of all of the chores of the house, and he doesn’t hold a job. I, however, hold a job and prefer to be in charge of the finances, so all of this works out to our advantage.

We do attend a high-protocol Master/slave group, but when when we’re here at the apartment, it isn’t very high on protocol. He knows his rules, and he knows if he disobeys them, he’ll have a punishment. He has a nightly ritual to get ready for bed, and a morning one is impossible due to differing college schedules. (You’d be amazed at how much college gets in the way of BDSM)

Either way, it is a little different from what I’m used to seeing from female slaves, but not in a bad way. I can always just save the differences for a future post. I’m excited to be guest posting here and even more excited about learning more about everyone else.

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