Archive for December 25th, 2009

Caring and love

December 25th, 2009 Comments off

As alluded to in both my and DK’s intro posts… Romantic love is not going to be a part of what we are and where we’re going. This, I think, is the biggest difference between what we’re doing and most M/s couples you’ll read about.

I think a common misunderstanding, one I certainly had, is that no love means no caring or emotional content. It’s  something that both DK and I have accepted, now. Neither of us are naive enough to think that I won’t fall in love with him but even then, I don’t think it’ll be the same sort of love you normally read about.

Our analogy to explain how love and affection work here is basically that of a service animal, like a dog for the blind or a police dog. There’s a very deep bond and I will come to absolutely adore him… but it’s not a romantic relationship. At the end of the day, I am there to work and I’m not his pet.

He already cares about me. That’s why he invests the time into me. He cares about my health, my well-being, my moods, my whereabouts, my thought processes, my sleep… The difference between this sort of caring and the “normal” sort of caring in a relationship is that he doesn’t have an obligation to remedy any problems.

If I’m unhappy, it’s usually in his best interests to find out why. Happy property is more effective property. Training happy and compliant property is easier than training cranky, unhappy and resentful property. Just like a working animal. A happy sniffer dog works better than a lonely and unhappy one. However… as I said… He is not bound by any obligation other than his own interests and preferences to keep me happy and healthy.     Read more…

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