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Some people have no idea.

December 17th, 2009

Yes, they gave me posting privileges here, there goes the neighbourhood 🙂

I guess I should follow my kitti and do the whole introduction thing. Be prepared, I’m not a talking blogging entity so tend to both waffle and jump around subjects

Yeah, me, pushing 40, English, one time transatlantic commuter, all round bad guy.

Pushing 40? Yes that makes me pretty much old enough to be her father, and I don’t care. If anything I think that actually enhances the distance I want between us. Yes, distance is the aim rather than closeness.

Some of the basics have already been covered in her introduction and a couple of my comments on it. I will save you all the boredom of my life history for now, suffice to say its quite un-average, and certainly not for the faint hearted. Yes its made me jaded and cynical, but also quite thankful too for some things.

I’m poly, as well as kitti there are two other girls in my life, but they are going to be mainly left out of this, there are many blogs about service types, and more than a few about the daddy/girl relationship such as I have with my primary. I’m going to concentrate here on the kitti relationship as its one that’s more unusual, more likely to attract discussion. I will likely as often as not post other random rants too, until my gracious hosts come to their senses and kick me out 🙂 I’m also partly of the mind that not much gets said from this side of the fence, lots of slavey blogs that try to explain what the one in charge might be thinking or doing, so here is a chance for you to get some straight from the horses mouth.

Now the relationship, that’s what you all want to hear about. Its very atypical, even for bdsm practitioners, it will be, and already is very one sided, affection, power, responsibility, all rest almost entirely in one of us but not the other. None of this first amongst equals or sharing stuff.

So how did this all start? 

I got a random message over on fetlife one day saying there was this young girl understood the darker, more primeval side of things, and if I ever wanted to chat to drop her a line. So I did, we exchanged a couple of messages then she went quiet. I didn’t think too much of it, after all she was in a relationship and I don’t intrude like that, I’m not amoral or immoral, I just have different ones to most. Back to the subject in hand. I sort of kept a watching eye on her, not a hopeful one but she continued to interest me, her posts were smart and intelligent, that counts for far more than large breasts and a surgically modified nose. Then, really quite out of the blue, a sudden hello from her, a couple more messages and she informed me she was single again, but not actually looking, a couple more messages and it was clear we had some reciprocal interest in each other.

The rest is history, it wasn’t long before she was feeling somewhat committed and owned, even without a proper in the flesh meeting. Simply put she was manipulated, in part by me, but just as much by herself, I just took advantage, planted seeds, steered the conversations somewhat. A couple of meetings, a “nice” no touching one, just chat to see if we could just sit down and watch TV together during downtimes, a second where she was choked to seeing stars, punched, slapped and the infamous broken rib.

We decided we wanted something different, something that was described as extreme by Rayne, I prefer to think of it as total, or complete. There are no escapes clauses, safe words, or get out of jail free cards. Kitti will be completely owned, and I will be completely responsible for her, but never to her. Yes the techniques I will be using to achieve this are way beyond acceptable, even edge play will just be a speck in the mirror. She will suffer what is to all intents and purposes abuse, physically, emotionally and psychologically. It will rarely be pretty, often ugly, but the end result should be something worth having.

Comments welcome, if you want to be positive, great, if you want to label me as an abuser, a monster, barely human, that great too, it means I’m doing it right!

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