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I iz here!

December 15th, 2009

Huzzah! The kitti has landed!

First off… a big thank you to Melen and to rayne for inviting me over here. very flattering and it’ll be nice to blog somewhere with friends.

I suppose a first post should be somewhat of an introduction?

So I’m kitti… I’m English. At the time of writing this, I am 23. I am… undefinable.

I have been  kinky for all of my sexual life. My first foray into kink outside of the slightly bent vanilla stuff was in late 2005. I met up with someone via bondage.com and he caned me, flogged me, held me by the throat, cropped me and introduced me to retraints, decorative bondage and erotic photography.

I was well and truly bitten by the BDSM bug. I visited with him several times over the next couple of years and he introduced me to a few other things like clamps and knife play and choking.

During this time I explored the interwebz! Somebody sent me to castlerealm.com and they mentioned IRC. I googled IRC and BDSM and found irc.bdsm-net.com.

Ended up doing a long-distance relationship with someone in Alaska… Wore his collar for  a little under two years, spent my 21st birthday with him watching wildlife amongst the glaciers, spent new year’s eve in the snow in AK… Lovely..

That relationship ended, in part, because I needed more control and ownership than he was comfortable with. The subsequent relationship was very much Owner/pet. For a year or so, I was happily collared and, with him, I discovered my need for the darker elements of play.

With him I discovered a fondness for knives, blood, rape, slapping, choking and the harsher sides of control. With him I realised I needed ownership, plain and simple.

I am now in such a relationship.  My relationship with DK (daddy_keeper) differs from the others on this site because it is an asexual, unloving one. DK has a primary partner (referred to as M) with whom he is in love. He also has control over another girl (P) who fulfils a service and a masochist role. I believe she falls into the role of non-romantic slave.

I fall into whatever role DK puts me in. I am his property.

I feel I should use this post as a bit of a disclaimer. A lot of my writing will contain subject matter that some people may feel uncomfortable reading. It involves a lot of violence (the first time we played, he broke my rib), a lot of conditioning and a lot of brain washing. I don’t have limits, I don’t have a safeword and I certainly cannot walk away from this relationship. To most people, the places we are going to go would be considered abuse. It’s not for us. Abuse cannot exist in this relationship.

rayne referred to us as extreme… It’s probably not a bad word. It’s just not how we see it. It’s the only way we can relate to each other. Please don’t be alarmed, please be constructive with your comments. I don’t mind if you don’t agree with me but please don’t tell me I am being abused… I’ve covered that here.  Please don’t tell me I can leave… I’ve covered that.

Other than that… Feel free to comment on any rambling and if I mix words up, please don’t point it out. Chances are that I’ve already noticed and kicked myself for it! See you in the comments! 😀

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  1. Katie Ward
    December 15th, 2009 at 12:55 | #1

    I look forward to reading your posts… such an, well, I guess I have to use the word “extreme”, too–such an extreme relationship is very interesting to me, partly because I’m curious about where my own relationship(s) will go in the future and I’m looking forward to the day when my pain limits can be truly tested (having a baby in the house makes that hard right now).

    I’m really curious about some things, and I’d like to ask some questions if you don’t mind–things about what ‘no limits’ means to you and what you would do if things were making you unhappy and you no longer wanted to consent–even if that possibility seems impossible right now. I’m not saying you’re wrong or should or or or… umm sorry, I’m rambling. What I’m trying to say is I’m curious about your views and I’m not saying they should be different. I’m just curious 🙂

    Just ignore me if you like, obviously 🙂

  2. December 15th, 2009 at 13:22 | #2

    @Katie Ward
    lol… Feel free to ask!

    No limits to us means exactly that. If he wants to brand a picture of a dick onto my ass… ok. He’s very much my owner and that includes my mind, too.

    One of his objectives is to break down every aspect of who I am and strip me to nothing… The rebuild me. I’m ok with that. I’m perfectly ok with him rebuilding me how he wants me to be.

    If things got bad and I didn’t want to consent anymore… The worst possible thing DK could do would be to walk away. I made a promise to him that I was his. He made a promise to me that I was his. If he let me walk away, it would do me so much damage.

    I have absolutely no doubt that there will be a point where I hate him. Several. Days where I want to run and hide from him. Times I will fight him with everything I’ve got… until I’ve spent every ounce of energy I’ve got and haven’t gotten away. If I succeeded, he’d have failed and I’d be permanently damaged. I rely on him to keep me at his feet.

    If you wanna keep talking, feel free to look me up on FetLife as kitts 🙂

  3. December 15th, 2009 at 13:44 | #3

    Not just her ass, I can brand her anywhere I choose 🙂

    Perhaps something that some folks may not quite understand is that no-limits is not related to just the physical aspects, but the psychological and emotional too.

  4. December 15th, 2009 at 13:58 | #4

    I’m looking forward to reading some of your stuff. I know a very extreme couple, but that’s just because he’s a sadist. They’ve never broken ribs before, though, but the torture scenes are intense.

  5. December 15th, 2009 at 14:04 | #5

    @Kayla
    The rib thing was an accident. We both sort of went “uhm.. oops”

  6. December 15th, 2009 at 15:37 | #6

    Yeeehaaaw this shall be most awesome 😀

  7. December 16th, 2009 at 16:14 | #7

    So far this is the closest I’ve seen to what rayne and I have, tho we have the additional emotional aspect as well. I’m looking forward to reading more. I’m always looking for evil ideas *grin*
    .-= Melen´s last blog ..Linux Webcam Frustrations =-.

  8. December 16th, 2009 at 16:19 | #8

    Hee! I told you he’d like you!

  9. December 17th, 2009 at 05:39 | #9

    @Melen

    There will be an emotional content to what goes on, but a fair chunk of it will be what most folk would regard as negative. She will frequently hate me, and I will often make myself hate her, simply so I can step beyond the bounds of what I could achieve in a “normal” relationship, whatever one of them may be.

    The end result will be total dependance on me, she will love me, but I will have no more affection for her than I do my favourite wrench.

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