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But, You Said This Was Okay!

December 15th, 2009

Being up with the storm outside sucks.  Really, it does.  I would love to sleep.  And in my insomnia mixed with fear of the storm, I was browsing Fetlife.  This is ALWAYS a smart idea at 12:45 in the morning.  I came across a thread that struck my fancy because of the fact that it is absolutely absurd.  The topic is sensitive and the play is acceptable in our circle, but the question that was posed was just ludicrous.

The topic involved a liability waiver for a rape scene.  The need for such a waiver would be to cover the play rapists ass in case the play victim loses his/her shit and decides to call rape on the “rapist.”  In the ideal world, this would be great.  Going to court and proving that you did not rape her because she signed a waiver saying that she consented to being raped will get you off without more than a slap on the wrist.

Wrong.

In the real world, this is what happens.  You take it too far.  Your partner absolutely loses his/her mind.  He/She says that everything is fine and upon leaving goes to the police and reports rape.  You are approached by the police and asked if this happened and if you raped him/her.  You say that you indeed did rape her because she signed a contract.  The police arrest you.  You go to court.  The judge sends you to jail and you get raped without a waiver by a big man named Bubba.

The fact is that even with a waiver, you aren’t safe in any instance.  If you pursue this type of play, or any play for that matter, in the world of BDSM, you should be highly familiar with your partner.  If you have any doubt in your mind to the mental capacity or state of your partner, you should use your common sense and not pursue play.  The only thing a waiver is going to do is give you a false sense of security that if something goes horribly wrong, your ass is safe.  It is not and never will be.

People need to use more common sense and not depend on paper and pen to say “hey, she signed her name in blood so this is okay!”  Wrong.

Moral of the story: Know your partner and if you have any doubts, do not pursue.

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  1. December 15th, 2009 at 03:02 | #1

    Absolutely lucidcrous.

  2. December 15th, 2009 at 07:53 | #2

    That’s not entirely true, Vieux. Not too long ago, a case like this came up in the states. I don’t remember the exact situation or where it was. But the court ruled that the guy acted in accordance with the girl’s wishes and he was exonerated.
    .-= rayne´s last blog ..Seven Years and Counting =-.

  3. VieuxCarre
    December 15th, 2009 at 10:36 | #3

    It depends on the court and how nice the judge is. It also depends on what state you live in. In most states, it doesn’t fly. For the most part, it’s just silly, to me, to depend on a piece of paper to save your ass in that kind of situation.

  4. December 15th, 2009 at 13:28 | #4

    I’m wondering why he’d do it if he was so afraid that he had to sign a waiver. Personally, if I don’t even know you well enough to trust you on your word, I have no intention of doing a rape scene. That involves some serious trust.

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