Archive for December 12th, 2009


December 12th, 2009 2 comments

I like working.  Honestly, I do.  I just have a hard time getting motivated to go to work.  Well, one would think that leaving your house well over an hour in advance to get to you job at the mall during Christmas would be enough time right?  Wrong.

First of all, the weather here is absolutely horrendous.  When I say horrendous, I mean that the storm we’re going through now makes a monsoon look like a slight drizzle.  Anyway, Louisiana weather sucks enough as it is, as do the roads.  I drove through flooded road after flooded road to finally get to the mall.  Great!  I still had a half an hour to spare.  Fabulous!  Wrong.

The police decided to be douche bags today and block every…single…entrance to the parking garages.  The ones that were open were filled to the brim with cars.  The level ground parking was full as well.  There was absolutely no parking whatsoever.  I call work and tell them that there is no parking available.  They tell me “too bad.  You’re fired.  It’s not a good enough excuse.”

So, I lost my job this afternoon after driving through a monsoon and a half, police being dicks, and my work being absolutely unreasonable.  Yay, Christmas Holidays!

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New Dynamic

December 12th, 2009 1 comment

In my first post I explained how my long distance relationship worked and why it did.  Long distance, for me, is a dynamic that is extremely difficult to maintain.  I had always feared long distance relationships for the very reason that every single one I had been in ended.  And not well either.  Distance puts a huge strain on couples because most people desire the companionship, the touch of their partner, the idea that if they are needed only a five minute drive is required, etc.  The fact of the matter is that with the interent being the main front of meeting people these days, distance relationships are becoming more and more popular and wide spread.

Despite the fact that my last distance relationship dissolved, I have ventured into another.  This relationship is definitely different dynamic wise.  For starters, instead of being three hours away from my partner, he and I are only an hour apart.  Being an hour apart makes it so much easier if he and I are both not busy at the same time.  The drive isn’t bad either since most of the stretch is cluttered with towns and such.  It doesn’t feel like an hour at all.

Now, another dynamic that I have been petrified of is polyamory.  Polyamory in the past, for me, has been ruined.  Almost two years ago I was with a boy (I call him a boy because he gave me no reason to refer to him as a man) who claimed to be polyamorous and stated that he wanted to have an open relationship with me.  Great, fabulous!  I was up for it because of the fact that he and I lived over 2,000 miles from each other.  Seriously, living in Louisiana and dating a boy in Washington State is NOT fun at all.  Keep in mind he and I agreed to be polyamorous which, to me, meant that he could have multiple lovers and I could as well while he was away.  Boy was I wrong.  He defined polyamory as him being allowed mulitple partners to stick his dick in, but I had to stay loyal to him and keep my legs closed.  Oh, I’m sorry.  What?  To me, that just didn’t seem fair, but like a sucker, I stayed.  For over a year.

During the year that he and I were together, he had, roughly, 15 different sex partners.  To me, that’s not polyamory.  That is abusing the power that I have given you as my Dominant and abusing me as a submissive.  The relationship changed in the fact that he started seeing another girl, online, and didn’t tell me about her.  He hid me in a closet so to speak.  I didn’t like that either.  He took a dynamic, which isn’t a bad one, and turned it into something absolutely awful for me.  When I took off his collar, I swore that I would never be in a distance relationship again or try poly.  Ever.

Keep in mind that when I was in this relationship I was still in the closet about my kink.  There was no local community where I lived and the closest one I could not go to because of my age.  I was just barely 20 at the time.  He and I had dated right after I turned 19.  When I moved home a year ago was when I became involved in the local community and that involvement led me to start seeing things with different eyes.  Read more…

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