Archive for December 3rd, 2009

I had HIV once…

December 3rd, 2009 2 comments

sexedu2If you haven’t yet, go check out the posts about HIV and AIDS over at SexIs and Eden Cafe.  The stories are absolutely amazing.  I sent one in about my BFF Lance from high school.

God, I miss that kid.  We had so much fun.  Unfortunately, we lost touch when I dropped out.  He was pretty lucky.

But I had HIV once.  I caught it in “Family Life”.  I walked into the classroom, and this kid I was hopelessly in love with – who always talked to me more than the other girls, but I was too chicken to ask him out – walked up to me and shook my hand.  And I just sort of stared at him while he proceeded to begin a discussion with me and a couple of my friends.  He shook each of their hands, too, and then took mine again and put his other arm around me.  And I thought I was going to fall on the floor.

I tried to keep up with the conversation, but secretly, I had no idea what was going on and hoped it wasn’t too obvious.  Thank the Holy Purple Cabbage that no one asked for my opinion on anything.  I’d have looked like an idiot.

He walked me to my desk and then moved his stuff to a seat next to me.  And as I tried to look around nonchalantly, he leaned close to me and whispered, “I just gave you HIV.  Don’t tell the other girls.  Coach is going to make you stand up first, so I figured I’d warn you.  I know how much you hate that.”

I guess I don’t have to tell you I was in shock.  I kind of stammered “Thank you.” while I tried to make sense of what he said to me.  “Wait… You gave me HIV?”

“Yeah.  Look at your hand.  It should be covered with the virus.”

And so it was.  I had little sparkly virus cells (also known as: glitter) all over my hand.  Instinctively, I moved to wipe my hand off on my pants.  My crush said, “There’s no cure.  You can’t just wipe it off.”

Sure enough, wiping the virus on my pants only transferred it from my hand to my pants.  And then, the more I scrubbed, the more the virus spread.  I laughed nervously and he smiled.  The door to the classroom banged closed and class began.

Coach called my crush up to the front and asked him who he “boinked” first (His words, not mine.  Honest.).  My crush smiled at me and said, “How could I pick anyone but Rayne?”

Coach made me go up to the front and stand with my crush.  I’m pretty sure my face was redder than that World AIDS Day picture up there.

“Unfortunately, she dumped me when she found out I have HIV.  But she kept my secret for me, and I passed it on to her friends Holly and Jessica.”

I cracked up.  Read more…

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Propaganda Sucks in All Directions

December 3rd, 2009 12 comments

(Another one of those sense of humor tests)

This post (and another that I’ll probably work on later today) has been rattling around in my head for days, but I was having trouble figuring out how to put it all down without being too offensive.  I finally just decided I don’t really care if someone takes offense.

I know a couple feminist slaves.  I’m not talking about the ladies who believe that women who haven’t chosen slavery for themselves should be treated equally in society.  I’m all for that.  Makes sense to me.  We live in a society that claims to demand equality for all its citizens, and not allowing women who want it to be treated equally makes us hypocrites.  So give them equality, I say.  (Obviously, that’s not my only reason.)

I’m talking about the ladies who claim to be enslaved to their male owners, but demand they be allowed equal footing in their relationships.  Insist on being allowed to work outside the home because forcing them to be at home, barefoot and in the kitchen is sexist.  Make damn certain that the household chores are shared, right down to taking out the trash, so as not to draw any gender specific lines.  Refuse to operate on any other level than one that allows them to be a part of the decision-making process.

They usually have bumper stickers that say something stupid like, “I am woman.  Hear me roar!” and their man-hating levels are through the roof.  Occasionally, they’re victims who buy into victim mentality.  Once in a while, they’re just impressionable ladyfolk who’ve been fed a bunch of bullshit.  I used to be an impressionable ladyfolk who was fed a bunch of bullshit, too.

Whether you like it or not, it wouldn’t be a stereotype if it wasn’t, at some point in time, how the vocal majority behaved.  Once upon a time, women were soft, impressionable and easily swayed.  Or, at least, they acted like they were to win favors from their men.

I have a few fanatical feminist readers, which kinda cracks me up.  I mean, it sort of confuses me.  These are the women who will tell me that I enjoy being enslaved because I’ve been indoctrinated by our patriarchal society.  Who would, in a heartbeat, rip me out of my happy home and loving marriage, throw Master in prison and commit me until I no longer wanted to be owned.  Who are fighting to do away with the oppression of women, rather than giving women the right to choose.

Yet, they can’t look away.  I wonder why that is.

I get really frustrated with the fanatical feminists.  They ignore anything that might throw a wrench in what they believe.  Pretend it doesn’t exist.  Or, if it’s too over-the-top blatant for that, they’ll excuse it away as something men have trained us feeble-minded women folk to believe, not realizing that they’re making the chauvinists’ argument for them.

Silly feminists.  Read more…

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