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He Asked For It!

December 30th, 2009 2 comments

“Look at it this way.  I am telling you to use your imagination to please me.  I won’t hold it against you or be angry with you.  It will give me pleasure for you to serve me. ”

In my most recent post I used butterflies to symbolize the change in my life.  I am starting to think I should get a butterfly permanently tattooed on my body because things are ever changing.  My relationship with Will is turning into something we never planned for or intended in the beginning.  The initial aim of our relationship was purely going to be platonic sex.  Well, we realized that there was much more there than just a relationship of casual sex.  We became and are lovers.  Now he has asked something of me that I never imagined.

He and I sat and talked in the sun room last weekend over coffee.  It’s what we do on a Sunday morning after I’ve spent the night with him.  We were just chatting and snuggling when I looked up at him and said with sincerity “you are the first person I have felt completely comfortable around.  You are the first person I have fully given myself to.”  He smiled and kissed me.  And it’s true.  I never gave myself fully to Tab because I didn’t trust him.  I never fully gave myself to anyone else, for that matter, because I never felt as though I could be free to be me.  I am highly complex and cannot be defined by even a conundrum of terms.  I have always had to reserve who I am and compromise for my partners of the past.  Things are different now.  Much different.

I have been friends with his wife for over a year now and she has seen my worst moments.  The ones before I moved back home to New Orleans.  She never once judged me and always encouraged me to be who I am, flaws and all.  I was always afraid to, but I found that living with these flaws and accepting them helped me to mend them and better myself.  When she and I met face to face about two months ago I was a different person and I am different even today.  The fact of the matter is that she is pretty much the only person that knew me then and stuck with me.  She is the first person I felt fully comfortable being me around.  And she still is along with her husband.

I have training in high protocol and service.  I learned from Gabriel while I was under his mentorship.  Granted, I haven’t learned everything I know from him, but a lot of my mannerisms and the way I hold myself come from him and being a member of his House.  When I fully let go, I am completely subservient.  Alright, mostly.  I still retain my attitude and my right to say “screw you, I am NOT blowing the dog.” Read more…

ABA – Another Bloody Acronym

December 30th, 2009 Comments off

Not RACK and SSC, They are for another day when I have nothing better to do but sneer and argue 🙂

So I’m sat here this morning discussing Kitti’s characteristics with her when I decide I can pretty much sum up the idea of the near perfect slave  as possessing 3 traits, all beginning with “C”, CCC for those who like old-fashioned acronyms, or 3C for those of a more contemporary or military background. So what are these C’s that make a slave ideal to me, you may have differing concepts? Compliance, Contentment and Consideration.

Compliance. A simple enough one,  it could be stated as obedience, flexibility, acceptance.

Contentment. The slave should be happy and relaxed with themselves, their self image and their role. Sure they are not always going to be a bundle of laughs and enjoy every second of their servitude, but overall they should be comfortable and accepting.

Consideration. This is the serving, slaving part, a good slave should be considerate, always doing the best they can for their owner. I am of course a big fan of pro-active service rather than micro-management and constantly having to issue the simplest of instructions. Thats the basic three Cs, but as always with me nothing is ever that simple……

Acceptance is a word I use a lot about slavery, I notice I used in two of those three above. I think it is quite an  important concept for slaves and potential slaves to grasp. Liking is a privilege not always granted to slaves and property, however that should not mean they cannot accept with good grace, or at least minimal resistance.

Comfort is a word I like too, both in the realm of the slave being comfortable with themselves and their role, but also that their role is about creating and enhancing the comfort of the owner.

There is another “C” I find essential in a slave, companionship. She isn’t always going to be scrubbing the kitchen floor or being beaten to a pulp, I need someone I can relax with, enjoy a movie with, a conversation on a long journey.

So there we have it, 5CA, CCC, whatever combination tickles your fancy, pick and choose, give me your thoughts and ideas as to what constitutes a foundation acronym for slaves.

Categories: Sojourners Tags: No tags for this post.

Me? I’m a runner.

December 29th, 2009 Comments off

TooManyPeopleRunningAwayI’ve been dreaming a lot about being kidnapped, chased, murdered, tortured.  And not the fun kinds of any of those.

Not that there’s a “fun kind” of being murdered.  But you know what I mean.

I’m not objective about my dreams because occasionally, they’re prophetic.  Whether they’re occasionally prophetic because I have some psychic ability, or because everyone gets it right sometimes, I don’t know.  And I don’t really care.  It is what it is.  What I do know is I don’t like that I keep dreaming about these terrible things.

M says things like “See, I’d figure that was some kind of warning.  It wouldn’t scare me.”

But it scares me.  Because a) My memory’s shot and I don’t always remember that I dreamed about something until it unfolds completely (which makes it difficult to prevent anything bad that happened in my dream) and b) Sometimes, they’re allegorical rather than exact.  I mean, not so much so that I’m reaching to connect them.  Just enough that I don’t understand them until after whatever I dreamed about happens.

Last night was equally better and worse.  I remember three of my dreams.  One, though, was utterly bizarre.  Or, at least, for me it was a bizarre dream.  The only part I remember – the only time I was lucid enough during this dream to remember – was opening my eyes to find the barrel of a .357 Magnum in my face, me yelling “Michelle!”, and then seeing and hearing the gun explode.  I don’t even know which Michelle was shooting me, or if they were even shooting me or I was just an innocent bystander.  I know at least half a dozen Michelles.  And none of them have a reason to want me dead.

Or maybe they do, and I just can’t fathom it.  I’m often doing fucked up things and not realizing it until Master says, “Whoa.  That was kinda fucked up.”  Common sense: I haz none.  So, seriously? Feel free to call me on my shit.  I know I have a lot of it.

Something else I’m noticing about my dreams, though, is that they all have Master in them now.  I mean, I have sex dreams about Him.  Everyone has sex dreams about their partner, I’m sure.  But my other dreams… The nightmares and the dreams that aren’t sex dreams? They usually don’t have anyone I know in them unless they’re gonna come true.  Sometimes, in my dreams, I don’t even know anyone I know in real life.  Never have, never will.  So that Master is in every single dream I have now, either in presence or in mind (as in, dream me knows Dream Master’s standing in the next dream room, or whatever), is a strange development.  Not a bad one! Just not one I understand.

Aww! Master’s the man of my dreams. ~tear~  Read more…

Categories: Rayne Tags:

e[lust] #4

December 29th, 2009 Comments off

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HNT Courtesy of Molls (via Eat The Cake NYC)

Welcome to e[lust] – your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you’re going to find it here. Want to be included in the next edition? Start with the rules, check out the schedule in the site’s sidebar and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

♦ This Week’s Top Three Posts ♦

Interrogation – I looked up at him, feigning cluelessness. “I know you can understand me. So I ask you again. Where are the lenses?” Another strike. I crumpled into the bench.

Reconciling the Identities of Feminist & Butch Top – There’s something supposedly anti-feminist about wanting to dominate. There’s something in the feminist rhetoric which says we are all equal especially in bed, so that means I-do-you-you-do-me….

Fire and IceThe rain comes down harder around us, the freez­ing drop pelt­ing what­ever skin lies exposed over the sur­face of the water.

e[lust] Editress

By the Twinkling Lights… – His lips found my nipples and I forgot about the cold. If a car were to drive by and the passengers were to look past the twinkling lights on the tree, they would have seen a naked woman’s rear end pressed against the glass wall..

♦ Featured Post (Lilly’s Pick)

Ronjazz: Late Night Rendezvous – Meet me in the parking lot at the post with the broken lamp. 10PM sharp! Do not be late! Stand facing the post, eyes closed. Wear a flimsy dress and heels – nothing else!

See also: Pleasurists #58 and #59 for all your sex toy review needs

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Erotic Writing  Read more…

Categories: Rayne Tags:

Sex Toys and Teens, and a Few Other Things

December 29th, 2009 3 comments

Floating around the reviewing community, there’s been a few questions about teens and sex toys.  The laws in most states dictate that a person isn’t allowed in an adult toy shop until they’re eighteen or twenty-one.  Most credit card companies won’t approve anyone under eighteen.  So that leaves teens with the options of asking an older friend, breaking the law or waiting till they’re adults to discover the wonderful world of sex toy enhanced masturbation.

Or asking Mom and Dad.

So the questions that have come up time and again are:

  1. Would you buy your son or daughter a sex toy?
  2. Why or why not?
  3. If you would, what age would you consider “old enough”?
  4. And finally, what kind of toy would you start him or her out on?

And that started me wondering other things.

For example, what age is a good one to start teaching your child about sex? How do you handle awkward situations? Like walking in on your child masturbating, or them walking in on a scene, or whatever.  And just how far should you go in your sex education? Like, should you explain S&M to your kid? What if you’re heavily involved in the BDSM community? And do you remain objective or tell them what you think about the different aspects of sex?

A couple years ago, we had a doozy of a situation where my six-year-old (who’s now nine) was caught masturbating to orgasm in class.  Her step-mother and father hadn’t yet had “The Talk” with her and, as far as we know, she’s never been molested, so it was just a case of a curious child finding a glorious experience through experimentation… And choosing to share it with her first grade class, apparently.  How would you handle that?

Abstinence only or contraceptive education?

What do you guys think? Let us know!

Categories: Rayne Tags:

Butterflies

December 28th, 2009 3 comments

butterflies_-_02-800x600I have an intense fear of butterflies.  It is so bad that walking through a butterfly garden at the Zoo will make me cringe and want to crawl out of my skin.  I have never understood why I am so afraid of butterflies until last night.  Butterflies signify change and, quite frankly, I am afraid of most change.  The change that I am afraid of has nothing to do with a change in my life with new experiences and newly opened doors.  My fear has to do with the familiar things in my life changing.  And boy are they.

The family that I belong to is slowly falling apart and it is hurting my heart so very much.  I am not happy with what it has become and boiled down to.  All of the accusations of liars, backstabbers, hurt feelings, and he said/she said is getting to me.  There isn’t one moment when every person in the family is content and happy with the other.  That’s how a family is, I know, but this goes beyond just normal “I can’t stand you” nonsense.  This has to do with months of accumulation and lack of expression of feelings.  It has to do with there being disregard for those feelings.  It has to do with the fact that when I became a part of this House it was such a joy to my life.  Now, it has become something that I get quiet about and don’t really speak much about.

I first became a part of the House with my former Master, Tab.  He and I were welcomed with open arms and acceptance of who we are.  Neither he nor I have the experience our superiors have, but we were willing to learn.  Tab burned his bridges and was removed from the family, not because he ended our relationship.  The night after our break up, I was given protection, security, and a sense of hope that things would get better in my life.  The collar of protetion was my beam of light in the dark tunnel I had found myself feeling around.  His words and his love picked me up.  Everyone else showered me with love and affection.  I had a great family.  Everything was wonderful.

And then things began to change.

After the initial weekend of being a part of the family, things began to turn into something I never thought imaginable.  There was so much drama that I didn’t even know about that I had suddenly inherited.  And then the drama poured in to involve me when I had done nothing to deserve it, in my eye.  All I did was try to provide and do for my family as I was required to do.  And then one night I got the cold shoulder and was hurt in one of the most awful ways possible.  I was disregarded until the end of the night.  I hate feeling insignificant, I really do.

After much debate and thought, I have decided to make a change to my life.  A change that some of you probably did not see coming.  Read more…

Categories: Sojourners Tags: