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Sexual Stigmas

November 18th, 2009 4 comments

taboo_sex
I didn’t always have sex because I liked it.

Why, yes! Yes, I do know how hard that is to believe.

Especially knowing me.

However, I didn’t always have sex because I liked it.  I liked pleasing men.  Sex seemed to please the men I knew.  So, I had sex with them.  It never won me any friendships or kinships or kindness.  Unless you include being protected with vicious fervor from people who didn’t approve.  But I got invited to parties and I was never alone and the trade off seemed worth it to me.

I was convinced an orgasm was something a woman had in her bedroom, in the dark, alone.

No man I had been with had ever tried to make me cum before.  They certainly never seemed concerned when I didn’t.  Not a single one ever asked what they could do to help me to enjoy it more.  They told me how to lay, what to do, what noises to make to please them.  What I enjoyed wasn’t ever really an issue.  Which was fine because…

I was convinced an orgasm was something a woman had in her bedroom, in the dark,  alone.  And only the trashiest of trash used toys.  Matter of fact, if you must be dirty with yourself, you use only the tips of your fingers and get it over with as quickly as possible.  And never, ever speak of it! (Thanks, Mom!!)

My mom never said those things to me, but with the stigma surrounding sex talks in my house (I learned about sex from school.), it sure seemed like the pleasure I got from getting myself off was a horrible, horrible secret.  One I should never talk about with anyone.

That didn’t change till I met Master.  Read more…