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Tab and Vieux vs LDR

October 23rd, 2009

As stated in my bio, my M and I are in a long distance relationship.  Our long distance relationship is not like many that you see online on collarme, fetlife, or wherever you choose to involve yourself.  Many long distance relationships, from my observations in the past, have been strictly online and the couple rarely sees each other.

We aren’t quite like that description.

While we are long distance, he and I are only three hours away from each other.  It is easy for either of us to pick up and drive to see the other on any given weekend.  Due to school, work, and family obligations, however, we are not able to do so on the regular basis.  Tab and I met on Fetlife on one of the message boards for the local community, NOBLE, that we are both involved in.  He and I hit it off immediately through playful banter and back and forth nonsense and when we moved to instant messaging and the phone we just knew we had to see each other.  And we did.

He and I made arrangements to meet each other on the fourth of July weekend.  I was a nervous wreck.  I normally don’t drive on a whim to meet a stranger from the internet.  He and I have mutual friends who encouraged me to meet him, so I took the chance and I am glad that I did.  He is simply one in a million, in my book.

Since our initial meeting, we have seen each other four times since.  Why so few times?  Like I said before, we have family and work obligations that keep us from seeing each other on the regular basis.  I have been in long distance relationships before where it was strictly internet based and I only saw my significant other at the time three times in the year and half that we were together.  Tab and I have only been together for going on five months now.  I think we’re doing well in regards to seeing each other. 

Our relationship is different because we are able to see each other and we don’t have to worry about booking flights and driving days to see each other.  To be honest, we barely use the internet or instant messengers to communicate.  I email him once in a blue moon since he gets emails sent to his phone, but with our busy schedules we aren’t able to sit down and type out conversations to each other.  Plus, we don’t get fulfillment from text conversations.  He and I talk on the phone a lot.  When I say a lot, I mean we used up over five thousand minutes one month.  We always have something to talk about, whether it be good or bad, and we always end our conversations pleasantly.  Since he and I both work the same schedule we are able to talk at night before bed and on the way to work and school in the mornings.  While we talk a lot, we also set aside time to be with our families, friends, and to devote to other things that come up in our lives.  He and I both understand that we cannot be together all the time, but we do what we can to close the gap and see each other when time and finances allow.

Like every couple we face challenges.  It is hard to not have him here when I need to lay down and just cry my eyes out or to lean against when I feel like I cannot possibly hold myself up.  During our last visit he told me something that completely changed my view of the distance and helped me to better cope with it.  Though he is not here with me, he is always here for me.  When I cannot find the strength in myself, I find the strength in him.  That right there is all the reassurance I need to get through the things I deal with on the daily basis and fight to the end with school.

Do we fight?  Absolutely.  Do we always see eye to eye?  Hell no.  Do we let our differences get in our way?  No indeed.  He and I have overcome many issues so far in our relationship that could have very well lead to us ending our relationship.  There is something between us that neither he nor I have shared with anyone in the past.  That special something is what keeps us going and helps us to work around our schedules to physically be with each other when we can.  But, doesn’t every couple go through this?  Even the ones who are with each other all the time?  You bet your ass they do.

Tab and I have a normal, healthy relationship like everyone else, just ours has a few more obstacles for us.  But, every moment we get to spend physically with each other is made that much sweeter because of the distance.

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