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Do as I say, not as I do.

October 21st, 2009

Over on my post about masters and manners, LunaKM said:

It’s interesting though as I don’t know if I’d be comfortable in a relationship where I was required to be polite but the Master wasn’t. See, Master has trained me to be polite all the time; I wasn’t raised that way. So if he wasn’t polite I’d feel… odd I think. Hmm.

And I thought about how there are a lot of things Master doesn’t do that He requires of me.

Like, He almost never does the dishes.  I can count on one hand the number of times, in seven years, that He’s taken out the garbage.  He rarely feeds the birds.  He never cleans their cages.  And He rarely says please, thank you or I’m sorry.

I’m required to be respectful in my responses to Him and all males even though He’s only respectful to those He feels deserve His respect.  I’m not supposed to involve myself in drama – even His – unless He brings me into it.  I’m not allowed to go places without Him.  I have to get permission if I find myself interested in a sexual encounter with someone.  And I can’t buy anything without running it by Him first.

Sometimes He only eats one meal a day.  Sometimes He doesn’t eat anything.  But I’m required to eat twice a day.

He takes naps but I’m not allowed unless He is.  He does whatever He wants during the day, but I have to have permission to do anything besides what He’s told me to do.  And He changes jobs, takes on call and goes in early or stays late without running it by me first even though I’m required, when I’m working outside of the home, to ask Him before doing these things.

Like Kaya, I am held to a much higher standard than He holds Himself to.  I’m not sure He sees it that way.  I’ve never really sat down and talked with Him about it.  What I do know is that He’s not bothered by it in the slightest.

But it’s not fair! I have to say please and thank you! I have to apologize and beg for His forgiveness when I fuck up.  I have to be respectful to people who make me sick to my stomach, and act like little miss perfect in public, and pretend that I don’t think I’m better than this, that or the other male who is obviously an ignorant douche bag.  So why doesn’t He??!?

Cause He’s the master, that’s why.  He gets to choose how He behaves.  He gets to decide who He’s nice to.

And I get to do what He tells me to.

“Do as I say, not as I do, cunt.”  should be added to my list of rules, I think.  Cause it’s absolutely one of His favorite things to say to me.

P.S.  Just to be clear, I’m not saying Master doesn’t hold Himself to a high standard.  I’m not saying He’s rude to people (He almost never is.  Even if He doesn’t like them.), or irresponsible, or anything like that.  I’m simply saying He doesn’t have to be polite or responsible if He chooses not to.

P.P.S.  After posting this, Master read it and we discussed it.  He says He doesn’t hold me to a higher standard than He holds Himself.  He just holds me to a different one.  And He feels it should be that way, being that I’m a slave.  I agree.

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  1. Joji
    October 21st, 2009 at 12:56 | #1

    you know, I’m reading this and I’m thinking it has to do alot with stereotypes. Not so much of the m/s sort but of the sexual sort. We’re females. We’re supposed to be mild mannered, well behaved and always present the better side of ourselves to others. And perhaps he has a view of how he feels a female should and should not behave? As per the nap time and eating habits. Those are control things. He does them because he wants to. I know my M will often have me do things that he would not do himself mostly because hes more concerned about my well being than his own. Men are fickle and funny creatures.

  2. October 21st, 2009 at 17:39 | #2

    Rayne,

    The idea of different standards for different people is actually rife in our society, bith explicitly and implicitly. We hold those in positions of authority to higher standards than we do ourselves, for the most part. For example, most people expect the cops to follow the law even better than we do. They can be fired for things that most of us wouldn’t even be hassled about. And that’s not a bad thing.

    Likewise, we hold our children to different levels of accountability. The 4 year old can’t go to a friend’s accross town on their own, but the 13 year old may well be allowed to do so. Conversely, the 13 year old is expected to keep his room clean by himself, while the 4 year old is expected to do it with some help from mom or dad. We give our kids a bed time that’s earlier than our own. It’s not that one is held to a higher standard than the other, just a different one.

    So, a slave having a different set of rules than a non-slave, no big surprise there. From what I’ve encountered, most slaves want that difference as well.\

    Dave

  3. October 23rd, 2009 at 09:05 | #3

    I was pondering this. Although I’m a nilla, my wife holds us both to high standards. However. I say “fuck” sometimes. She HATES that. Because she wants me to be a lady? I dunno. But in 31 years together, I’m guessing she’s said Fuck maybe 3 times. While I’ve said it dozens. And if I say it in front of her (or heaven forbid, at her)…oh, our biggest arguments have been over the fuck word. Srsly.

    I wear long skirts almost exclusively. I vary the tops (right now I’m wearing a tee shirt w/a flannel man’s shirt over it.oh, and no undies, but I do have a bra on!!) soo…not “dressy” but it’s my thing. And I do it because I know she likes it. It pleases her. I’ve been modeling my life as if I were a slave to her desires, even though SHE doesn’t know what I’m doing, and she admits she likes the change, btw. So, ammending my dress, my language, and making our house neat and tidy….all things I do that are different from her “code of conduct”…I’ve been making a conscious decision to do these things to make me feel more “owned” (even though she’d FAINT if I mentioned that, haha!)

    Sorry for the “book”! Sometimes I just ramble on and on….

    Nilla
    shutting the fuck up
    *cheeky grin*

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