Home > rayne > Cin started it! – Please, Thank You and I’m sorry

Cin started it! – Please, Thank You and I’m sorry

October 18th, 2009

Just a little while ago, Master IMed me “Could you make me some hot tea?” He never says please.  Ever.  Matter of fact, the only time I remember Him ever asking me “Please?” was the day I left.

After I replied, “Sure.”  and got up to prepare His tea with a smile on my face, I heard His voice in my head.  “Thank you, baby.”  He also never says thank you, and didn’t then.  It was my imagination filling in what He never says, but I know He feels.  Then, I thought of Cin’s post on masters using manners when speaking to their property.  And I smiled wider.

First, Master almost never makes requests.  Even though He formed it as a question, He was not really asking if I was capable or would make Him a cup of tea.  It was an order.  A command.  And people don’t often tag a “please” at the end of a command.  It’s usually a “Do it, or else.” kind of thing.

He’s not being intentionally rude or snubbing me.  He’s simply giving me, His property, a command.  Do it, or else.

Master doesn’t see the point in niceties.  He’s not giving me the opportunity to choose whether or not I’d like to do what He wants me to do.  He’s not asking me to do them.  He’s telling me to.

And, to be honest, I agree with Him.  Though I still say part of it is because He was raised up here in New York.  People up here have no manners.

Master doesn’t often say thank you, either.  He shows His gratitude in other ways.  By playing with me, or being kind to me, or allowing me to get something I’ve wanted for a while, or letting me pick out the toys I buy with the money I make writing.  And by answering my questions honestly when I get insecure about my use and value.

It’s extremely rare that He apologizes to me.  It’s also rare that He makes mistakes.  He’s ridiculously anal.  Particular.  And He pays attention to detail.  I can count the number of times He’s been flat out wrong on one hand.  Maybe two.  But even when He does make a mistake, He rarely apologizes.  Even less since I’ve started saying, “You owe me an apology.” Lol.

When He makes a mistake, His response is usually, “Oops.  Oh well.  You’ll live.” with a sheepish grin on His face.  I hear, “I’m sorry, baby.”  when He says those things.

Cause He’s not intentionally slighting me.  He’s not refusing to look at facts just to get under my skin.  He’s not messing up on purpose to see how I’ll react.  An honest mistake is just that.  An honest mistake.

Course, He’s never made any major, relationship-threatening mistakes, either.  I have, though.

Do I think owners should swallow their pride and extend these niceties to their slaves? I think they should do what feels right to them.  I know a couple dominants that say please and thank you all the time and apologize when they’re wrong.  For most of them, it doesn’t seem to affect the functionality of the relationship at all.  For some, however, it gives the slave, and anyone listening, the illusion of being allowed to refuse.

Do I wish Master said please, thank you and I’m sorry more often? Nah.  Not really.  Like I said, He shows His appreciation in other ways.  And because of that, whether He says them or not, I hear them.

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  1. October 19th, 2009 at 22:22 | #1

    Master says please and thank you all the time. It’s just how he was raised. I never thought I had an option not to when he asks for something just because there was a please at the beginning or end. It’s interesting though as I don’t know if I’d be comfortable in a relationship where I was required to be polite but the Master wasn’t. See, Master has trained me to be polite all the time; I wasn’t raised that way. So if he wasn’t polite I’d feel… odd I think. Hmm.

  2. October 20th, 2009 at 08:43 | #2

    @lunaKm Master’s very much a “Do as I say, not as I do.” kinda guy.

  3. cinnamon
    October 20th, 2009 at 12:43 | #3

    @lunaKm It’s like I was saying in my post, it’s really all just a matter of style. Master uses these niceties with me, and while I like that he uses them (he was raised that way too!), I would gladly give it all up for something a little more like what rayne has. It’s strange, because my personal preferences have changed since we entered into an M/s dynamic, and I never once thought a year ago that manners would be something I would be willing to throw out the window in favor of something so different from what I have.

    Alas, like I said in my discussion with Melen, it’ll never happen……well…….I can’t say never, but it’s unlikely.

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