Home > Rayne > Cin started it! – A Master’s Psychic Ability

Cin started it! – A Master’s Psychic Ability

October 8th, 2009

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A few months ago, I posted about Master’s psychic ability. For those of you who missed it, it was a tongue-in-cheek post about how Master psychically divined, correctly, that I would fuck up, get punished and move on occasionally throughout our life together.

I want to say this loud and clear: I wasn’t serious!!!

This morning, when I logged into my computer and saw Cin’s post, I considered crawling under my desk and hiding out.  What on Earth is going on over at FetLife? For serious! It’s like someone opened the floodgates holding back the idiot waters and FetLife is suddenly overrun.

Well, not so much suddenly. It’s more or less that I’m actually paying attention now instead of ignoring them with the hope of avoiding drama. But I’m not getting involved in the drama! Okay, maybe a little. I let Kaya’s drama get on me for a minute. But that’s what friends are for, right?

So there’s this post on Fet. For those of you without an account, I’ll quote it here:

So here is a concept I stumbled across when a sub was trying to enlighten me in my Masterly ways. Obviously, I should be taking complete responsibility for everything that goes wrong because I’m the Master.

Here is an example. I tell my sub/slave to kneel. She kneels for so long that it hurts, but my sub/slave doesn’t say anything. Later, when we talk about it, my sub/slave mentions that it hurt, and my response should be “I am sorry. That was my fault. I will fix it so that it doesn’t happen again.”

What do you guys think of that? Is this the attitude I should have as a Master? Is this how you guys do it? Please share.

Knowing the poster, it was probably a, “are you fucking kidding me?” post. But I’m a little confused as to how anyone can possibly come to this conclusion. 

I bitch and moan about personal responsibility all the time. Specifically a slave’s personal responsibility. This sentence right here:

Obviously, I should be taking complete responsibility for everything that goes wrong because I’m the Master.

Is full of so much bull shit.

I get it. I do. Everyone hates being wrong. Everyone hates making mistakes. And everyone hates being called on their bullshit.

So I have an idea. And I know it’s crazy. But how ’bout taking responsibility for your actions and correcting your mistakes rather than flipping the fuck out because someone pointed them out? Wouldn’t that… I don’t know. Make more sense? Be more productive? Prevent future mistakes?

But forget all that. Let’s look at the scenario provided and see what we think.

So the master put the woman on her knees. The woman chose not to let her owner know that it caused her pain.

It’s a toughie, huh? I mean, the man did make her kneel. That falls on his shoulders. But that’s where his responsibility for the end result…well, ends. If it caused that much discomfort, why didn’t she say something? After that, she has only herself to blame.

Another person said:

See again we continue to have the communication problem here of interchanging fault and responsibility. There is a difference between the two words.

I can be responsible for the outcome without being at fault for things that happened.

If I’m in charge I’m responsible for the outcome. Just like we are responsible for the actions of our children (those of us that have them) even if what they do isn’t our fault.

And I was just blown away. But then, I also have never understood why managers are held responsible for their employees’ actions, either. If they’re making mistakes due to poor training, then okay. I can see that being the manager’s fault. But if the employee isn’t showing up or is refusing to follow direction or…I guess it becomes their responsibility to fix the problem.

Okay, so I guess I can see where this guy is coming from (the responsibility vs. fault guy). But I still don’t see where an apology is warranted. Perhaps, instead, a sound whipping for not taking care of master’s property better and a discussion about how important communication is would make more sense.

But an apology is admission of guilt. And from where I sit, the woman being in pain was not the owner’s fault. It was the woman’s for not speaking up and asking to be allowed to find a more comfortable position.

Like I said on the thread:

Last I checked, we’re all using the freeware version of BDSM and it doesn’t come with a mind-reading feature yet. But if you want to go on accepting blame for things that are your slave’s fault, be my guest.

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  1. vanimp
    October 8th, 2009 at 19:45 | #1

    Thats cause you have a whole heap of twats who believe BDSM is a way to be ‘fixed’ and that one doesn’t have to have personal responsibility if they are owned … it irritates me to no end.

  2. thepinkpoppet
    October 9th, 2009 at 02:37 | #2

    I agree…there is not absolute right and wrong in BDSM, and as you said, we are all using the Freeware Version and that (thankfully or unthankfully) still has bugs and not out of Beta yet so we must work within that. Also agree with vanimp above…a lot of people think that BDSM is a way to get themselves fixed or repaired. My opinion, whatever it is worth–about 3 cents actually–is that whether you are ‘owned’, ‘collared’, whateverthefuckyouare, you must take responsibility for your own actions. Slave or not, Master or not, it is ultimately up to each individual to decide what is right for themselves, but it is also ultimately up to each to accept the consequences of their actions. Just because I am sub to my Sir, does not mean that I must relegate all blame on him for something I did or neglected to do. I accept responsibility for my own freaking actions, stupidity or triumphs. As I said, just my 3 cents worth. Thanks.

  3. Lypiphera
    October 9th, 2009 at 16:33 | #3

    I actually joined fetlife for the first time the other day… and while it has been a nice area for exploration there are the occasional posts which are a tad erm… stupid :P?

    I’ve quickly learned that like any other chat / social site that it is unwise to feed the trolls. (Trolls being people that start or contribute to topics purely to wind a community up)

    As for the question at hand, I believe a BDSM relationship is just that – a relationship and like all human relationships we are joint and equally responsible for what happens within them – be that giving a safe word (or having one to begin with), reading your sub better or being able to talk things through afterwards in a way that appeases the guilt of both parties involved. Everyone makes mistakes and unless something was an intentional act (i.e. I am going to make my slave kneel because I want to hurt her in non consensual way) an apology isn’t needed for forgiveness, perhaps as a promise to do better?

    (I hesitate to add that here in England our ‘manners’ are quite different in the way that apologising or thanking someone tend to be curtsies extended as second nature too. I say thank you and sorry several times a day so ‘kissing and making up’ is something that comes naturally in a situation such as the one above, not sure if that applies but there we go :P!)

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