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SJP#466 – Tolerance

September 24th, 2009

ScuttleTwooSubmissiveHow tolerant are you of others who live in a lifestyle that would not suit you and who live in such a way it does not affect you? Do you consider yourself open minded? How do you react when others judge your lifestyle as fantasy?

I used to be, probably, one of the most intolerant people in the community.  Going through my old blogs to edit often leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth.  It takes an extreme amount of self control not to go through and delete the posts I’ve written that sound like Scuttle from The Little Mermaid.  All “This is this and that is that and…”  Blargh.

How annoying.

I don’t remember who pointed out that I was a silly “one-twoo-wayist”.  But it was on bondage.com, which I actually haven’t been on in ages.  Actually… it might have been Wolfspet and Pinkwind, now that I think about it.  Both lovely ladies I love to pieces and don’t bother nearly enough.  I fail at friendship if you’re not on one of my IM buddy lists.  Lame, I know.

I went back through all my blog entries and forum posts and… Stopped talking everywhere.  Bondage, IRC, SlaveFarm… I started ignoring most of my buddy lists and stopped responding to email.  I basically took a giant step back and decided to reevaluate who I was and who I wanted to be.

I still get preachy.  There is absolutely a one true way for Master and I.  No other way will work.  And we still haven’t figured it all out.  I try to be more open about the fact that this is what works for us and it doesn’t always work for other people.  But the reality of it is ours is the only way for us and anyone wishing to be in a relationship with us.

I have my idea of a perfect world.  It consists of philosophies similar to the Gor novels, albeit much more modern and realistic.  And that’s where fantasy comes in.

I do consider myself open minded.  Almost to a fault.  If your argument is even remotely convincing, I’m likely to be swayed.  Heaven forbid I get caught in the middle of two ridiculously good debaters on a subject I know nothing about.  I’m sure my brain would explode.

It gets me in trouble sometimes.  And I kick myself because half the time I don’t even believe in the shit I stand up for.  I’m just playing devil’s advocate.  And I don’t say so, so M thinks I’m discounting the way we live in favor of someone else’s view of the world.

We’re getting better with that, though, because yesterday we were discussing something that was in the news and M said (And, obviously, I’m paraphrasing.), “Well, it should be fine if they do a, b and c.  It’s their life.”  And then He went on to say, “I mean, obviously, that’s not how we’d do it.  But they’re adults.  They can do it however they want.”  And I wrote it down in my mental “Things Master Says” folder in case I need it later on.

I get really frustrated when I hear anyone tell anyone the way they want to live – or are living – is “just fantasy”, or cannot be attained.  It’s like: Way to go asshole.  You just burst someone else’s bubble.  Hope it made your day.  Buzz kill.

Cause, I mean, who knows, really?

I firmly believe in “Live and let live.”  And I wholeheartedly believe that humans are not capable of knowing the absolute right way to live.  I think if we were, we would.  But I still guess at it just like everyone else.  And I hope, in the end, I get where I’m going and find out that my correct guesses far outweighed my incorrect ones.  But if not, at least I’m having a ball trying.  That’s probably the sports lover in me.

So what about you? How tolerant are you?

prompt found at SubmissiveGuide

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  1. September 24th, 2009 at 15:25 | #1

    I’m an elitist.

    ‘least, that’s what I’m told. 😉

    I dunno. I don’t believe that I’m telling anyone they are doing it *wrong* or that my way is the only way and the right way and the best way and everyone else is poser.

    It probably comes across that way because I don’t mince words or fill my posts up with caveats and shit, but that’s not what I think.

    However (and this is a big however)-

    I think words have meanings. I think people are so afraid of being labelled a bigot, or intolerant, or judgemental that they’re too willing to accept anyone’s made up definition for a word that HAS a particular meaning.

    Sure, language is fluid and the dictionary is changed and revised and balh blah blah. But even that has limits. If it doesn’t, it bloody well should!

    So… because I tend to want to stick to the meaning of a word, and because I’m blunt and opinionated, I’ll question or challenge someone who is not using a word correctly.

    Do I tell them they are doing it wrong? Not usually. But I will tell them when they aren’t doing it at all, according to the commonly used definition of the word. In most circles, especially the bdsm circles where tolerance is worn like a Girl Scout badge, that’s not looked on very pleasingly. Fortunately for me, I don’t care. *beams*
    .-= kaya´s last blog ..No Title =-.

  2. September 24th, 2009 at 19:03 | #2

    @kaya I don’t think you’re an elitist, really. You just expect people to hold themselves to the standards that you hold yourself to and when they don’t you want to punch kittens.

    That doesn’t make you elite. That makes you hopeful for the human race. We share this affliction.
    .-= rayne´s last blog ..Cin Started It! – Mental Health =-.

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