Archive for September 16th, 2009

Cin asked about fear…

September 16th, 2009 2 comments

cinnamon :

My question to you is, how do you feel about fear in an M/s relationship?

I fluctuate, sometimes, on how I feel about it, on the whole.

I mean, a lot of people will say, “If you’re afraid of your dominant, you’re being abused.” Matter of fact, I was told that very thing when I belonged to #submission on DALnet (IRC). Along with the, supposedly widely agreed upon, opinion that I was a sweet girl but I needed to get away from M. Lol.

I don’t buy into that BS. I mean, take Kaya and Carrie, for example. Fear makes them hot. Outwardly and inwardly. Like, I drool at the clips they share. Lol. They get off on it. It feeds them.

But me? I was raised to believe fear is weakness. So, I absolutely hate being afraid. Fear pisses me off and sends me into fight or flight. And when it comes to M, I can’t run anymore. So I fight. And I fight dirty.

Last time, I refused an order. More than once. I had a nice welt for that one for a while.

But I believe I should absolutely be afraid of the consequences of my actions. And if not afraid, then accepting at least.

I guess, in my mind, it’s not always a bad thing. I mean, it’s a great tool to control someone with. But… I’d rather willingly submit to someone because I respect him. Not because he’s made me so afraid of him that I have no choice.

I know we’ve sort of discussed this here, before. But what do you guys think?

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Product Review: Rainbow Nights Paddle by Ruff Doggie Styles

September 16th, 2009 Comments off

Ours is multi-colored.

Ours is multi-colored.

I’m not really a paddle enthusiast.  I mean, I love the Slut Paddle, but that’s more of a slapper than anything.  But often, I could totally do without the oak paddle Master bought.

It’s not that I hate paddles, per se.  Just that they’re not usually my favorite toy.

I mean, there was that one time, when M put me over His knee and made me love it.  And there have been times since.  But… not always.

That being said…

I love, Love, LOVE the Rainbow Nights Paddle by Ruff Doggie Styles.  Like… for serious.  No playing.  On the real.

It’s black leather on one side and black velvet with intricate beading and stitching on the other.  The pain to pleasure ratio fluctuates between just perfect and “OMG! Am I really taking this for you?” on Master’s command.

It feels like it might be a little flimsy, but I think that’s mostly because we’re used to the solid wood.  But let me tell you, if it is flimsy, it makes up for it in performance.

Can I just say again that I love this paddle?